Zack returns to the phone. “Mom? I don’t know what to do.”

“I don’t know what to do either, honey. I’m stuck here because they want to keep me overnight for observation, and the weather is too risky to venture out anyway. But Gram’s here, and she’s taking good care of me. I’ve asked Maureen to drive you here first thing in the morning when the roads are clear. You’ll have to miss some school.”

He sniffles, and his voice shakes. “I still can’t believe this. How can he be gone? I’m never going to see him again?”

The question squeezes at my heart. “You’ll see him . . . at the wake. We’ll have an open casket, and you’ll be able to say goodbye.”

Zack breaks down completely. “Oh God . . . Mom . . . !”

“I’m so sorry, Zack. I shouldn’t have said that. I can’t believe any of this either, but we’ll get through it together. It’s going to be rough for a while, but at least we have each other. Don’t forget that. You know how much I love you.”

“I do, Mom.” He’s quiet for a moment. “But are you okay? You were in the accident too.”

I sniff and rub under my nose. “I’m totally fine. Please don’t worry.”

“Did they at least find Winston?” Zack asks.

I shut my eyes. “Not yet, but they’re still looking. I’m sure they’ll find him soon.”

But how can I say that when I don’t know for sure? After everything that’s happened tonight, I can’t help but fear the worst.

Dr. Sanders walks in and sees me on the phone. He points to his own head, indicating that he wants to examine the gash above my hairline.

I nod at him and say to Zack, “Listen, I have to hang up now. The doctor’s here. I’d like you to sleep at Jeremy’s tonight, and I’ll call you a little later, okay?”

“Okay, Mom,” he says. “I love you. Please call back soon.”

“I will, and I love you too, honey. More than anything.”

We hang up, and Dr. Sanders approaches to ask me some questions about my head. He grows concerned when he learns I was just sick in the bathroom, and he makes sure I understand that I need to stay for overnight observation.

“No one should be going anywhere in this storm anyway,” he adds, as if he knows how badly I want to go home and be with my son.

I have no choice but to agree, and the nurses are kind enough to offer my mother a bed to sleep on.

They are in the process of wheeling me out of the ER to a private room when I see my paramedic, Carrie, walking toward me with a look of concern. She’s talking on her cell phone, nodding her head, and somehow I know that she’s speaking to the first responder, Troy, and there’s news about Winston. My belly turns over with panic. For yet the hundredth time on this cursed night.

CHAPTER NINE

Carrie approaches. “I’m so sorry about your husband, Abbie. I really am.” She walks beside my wheelchair and gives my shoulder a gentle rub.

“Thank you.”

“But I thought you might like to know that I have Troy on the phone. He found Winston.”

I lay a hand over my heart. “Oh, thank goodness.”

Then I realize that Carrie isn’t smiling, and I’m not sure how much more heartbreak I can handle. “Please tell me he’s okay.”

The porter angles the wheelchair in front of the elevator door and pushes the button.

“He’s alive,” Carrie tells me. “But you should talk to Troy.”

She hands me the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Abbie?” Troy asks.

“Yes.”

“I heard about your husband. I’m so sorry.”

I fight another onslaught of tears and reply shakily, “Thank you.”

Troy pauses a few seconds. “I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we found Winston.”

“Where?” I ask, needing to know all the details but not wanting to hear the bad news just yet. I pray it’s not what I fear. I don’t know if I can take another hard blow at the moment.

“Near the off-ramp on the way back to town. We think he might have tried to follow the ambulance, but he gave up and collapsed by the side of the road.”

“Oh God.” I break down again. More tears stream down my cheeks because I can’t bear to think about how distraught and frightened Winston must have been as he chased after the ambulance. Did he think I’d abandoned him? Or that I was in trouble and needed him?

“It’s lucky we found him,” Troy says. “We’d just about given up the search because the weather was getting worse. We were on our way back to town when we spotted him. He was lying under a streetlight.”

I imagine my loyal dog, alone in the darkness and freezing rain, wanting only to protect me and thinking he’d failed.

“Where is he now?” I ask desperately. “Is he with you? Is he okay?”

The elevator bell dings, and the doors slide open. The porter pushes my chair forward, and my mother and Carrie both get on the elevator with us.

“He’s in the truck with me,” Troy replies. “I have his head on my lap. His eyes are open, but he’s cold, and he’s weak.”

“Put the phone next to his ear.” I want Winston to hear my voice. I wait a few seconds, and then I speak to him in a soothing, melodic tone. “Hey, Winston. What a good boy you are. They’re going to take good care of you, and I’ll come for you soon. I love you. Stay strong, okay?”

My voice breaks on the last words, and Troy takes the phone back.

“I just called one of the vets in town,” he says. “He has a clinic in his house, so he’s going to open up for us.”

“Which clinic?” I ask.

“It’s called Oceanview Animal Hospital. The vet’s name is Dr. Nathan Payne.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t worry—he’s good. And I’m off duty now, so I can stay at the clinic until I know more. I’ll keep you posted. Just keep your phone on, and tell Carrie to text me your number.”

My heart aches, and I’m filled with regret for leaving Winston behind. I wish things were different and that I could be with him now.

“I’ll call you as soon as I know anything,” Troy says, “and I promise I won’t leave his side. Not for a second.”

“Thank you so much, Troy.” My eyes fill with tears again, because I’m grateful for Troy’s help—and for everyone else who has come to my rescue in so many ways tonight. The police officers . . . the firefighters and paramedics . . . and the medical team that worked so hard to try and save Alan. I feel as if this town is full of heroes.

The elevator doors slide open, and the porter pushes my chair onto the floor.

Then I think of Zack.

My son just lost his father. He can’t lose his dog too—a dog that’s more than just a pet to him. Alan brought Winston home for Zack one day as a surprise when Zack was being bullied in the sixth grade. Winston was only a puppy then—nine weeks old—and he became Zack’s best friend, and mine too, in so many ways.

Winston has to survive. Not just for me but also for Zack.

I end the call and hand the phone to Carrie, who texts my number to Troy.

“Shouldn’t you be off duty by now?” I ask Carrie, who is helping the porter get me settled. “I’ve been seen by the doctor, and I’m admitted. I’m pretty sure that means your work is done.”

“Yes, but I’m waiting for Troy anyway,” she replies. “He’s supposed to give me a ride back to our place.”

“Your place.” I give her a questioning look. “Are you and Troy together or something?”

She holds her hand out to show me an engagement ring. “Yes. We’re getting married next July.”

I’m happy for her. Truly I am, but her love story makes me think of Alan and the day he proposed. He took me to Cape Split, where we hiked up the mountain and picnicked on a grassy meadow overlooking the beautiful Bay of Fundy. It was a clear day, and we could see for miles across the blue, while the hiss and roar of the powerful tidal currents below us made it feel dangerous and exciting.

“You’re my best friend,” he said, “and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to have children with you and grow old together and never be apart. You’re the love of my life, Abbie. Will you marry me?”

My grief returns with a vengeance, and I wonder if I’ll ever feel happiness again. Tonight, it seems impossible. It feels like this dark cloud of loss will hang over my head forever.

“Congratulations,” I say to Carrie, fingering my own wedding and engagement rings.

“Thanks.” She covers me with the blue sheet, and I can tell by her modest reply that she understands my pain and feels guilty for showing off her bling.

“I’m happy for you,” I manage to say. “He seems like an amazing guy. Very caring.”

There are two beds in the room, and my mother sets her purse down on the other one.

“I’ll get some sheets for that,” Carrie says. “And I’ll make sure they bring two breakfast trays in the morning. You’ve both been through so much.”

Again, I’m moved to tears by yet another act of kindness.

My phone rings, and I scramble to pick it up. When I see that it’s Troy, my heart races.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Abbie?” He sounds out of breath.

“Yes, it’s me. Is everything okay?”

“Yes. I just want to let you know that I’m at the vet clinic now, and Dr. Payne just took Winston into the examination room.”

“That’s great. But why are you so out of breath?”

He takes a minute to answer. “The truck couldn’t make it up the hill. It was too icy. We kept sliding back down, so I had to get out and walk.”

“You walked? What about Winston? Tell me you didn’t have to carry him up that icy hill.”