My phone vibrates on my desk with new messages, but I ignore it. RJ sent me one this morning wishing me luck, as did my mom and my brother Kyle. I slide the device into my bag so it’s not a distraction, but before I do, I catch the new name I’ve given to Joey’s contact: Douche-Hole. His most recent message, sent seconds ago, reads look up.

The last thing I need or want this morning is to see his asshole face. I don’t look up. Instead I flip distractedly through the orientation booklet.

“Hey! Stevie!” Joey whisper-shouts from the end of the row.

“For fuck’s sake,” I mutter.

“Do you know that guy?” Pattie asks on a whisper.

“Unfortunately, yes.” I keep my head down, determined not to give him any kind of sign that will make him think he has half a chance of getting back on my good side. Ever.

“Psst, Stevie.” His voice is closer now, like right beside my ear.

I glance at Pattie and mouth, Is he behind me?

She nods.

The tiny woman made of 100 percent muscle standing at the front of the room looks beyond me, her mouth twisting into a frown. “Mr. Smuck, did you need a refresher? Is that why you’re gracing us with your presence?”

Yes, Joey’s last name is Smuck. The irony is hard to ignore.

Every single person in the room is now looking at him, and I’m a sitting duck for whatever his response is going to be. I can feel the heat in my cheeks.

His hand, the one that was slapping the bare ass of someone other than me, lands on my shoulder. “Just saying hi to my—”

Embarrassment collides with incredulity and rage. I drop my arm, stabbing him in the shin with my pen. To his credit, he only half chokes on a groan, finishing with a cough and “Friend.”

The room is pin-drop silent. I want to melt into the floor and disappear.

“Save your social calls for off-work hours, Mr. Smuck.”

“Yes, ma’am. Sorry, ma’am.” He lowers his voice and whispers, “You can’t avoid me forever.” Then he shuffles down the row and saunters out of the room with a slight limp.

Once he’s gone, our orientation leader gets down to business as if the interruption never happened. And by business, I mean icebreakers. It’s like being back in high school with the games she pulls out. I almost feel bad about everyone’s complete lack of enthusiasm with how excited she is.

She has one of the new recruits in the first row pull a card from a top hat. We’re supposed to shout out the first thing that comes to mind after it’s been read aloud. Whoever gets similar responses will end up working in groups together for the rest of the day.

“What food is an absolute no-no on a first date?” the poor guy who pulled the question asks the room.

Several people shout out “Garlic!” or “Onions!”

I yell, much louder than necessary, “Bratwurst!”

At the same time, Pattie beside me shouts, “Hot dog!”

Jules follows it with, “Penis! I mean banana!”

Suddenly I’m not the most embarrassed person in the room anymore, and I think I’ve found my girl squad.

CHAPTER 4

UNDERWEAR CHALLENGE

Stevie

After orientation Pattie and Jules invite me out for dinner, but I’m supposed to go to my brother’s for a combined post-birthday-new-job celebration, so I ask for a rain check. I join them for a quick drink, though, since we finished up with the orientation-day activities earlier than anticipated. It’s nice to have friends already, especially with Joey working there and apparently wanting to be my shadow, based on the number of times I ran into him today.

My sister-in-law, Lainey, picks me up from the pub on her way home.

Kody, my nephew, is harnessed into his car seat, babbling away as he bangs two squishy hockey pucks together. “Evie!” he yells when I get into the SUV.

I twist in the passenger seat and tickle his foot, which is missing a shoe. “Hey, little man! I can’t believe how big you’ve gotten!” I give Lainey a side hug. “Thanks for coming all the way out here to get me.”

“It’s no problem. We were already running errands, and this way you don’t have to take the bus.” Lainey’s nose wrinkles. She’s not a fan of public transit—not because she thinks she’s above it but because she has an aversion to large crowds and confined spaces.

Lainey asks me how my first day at work was, and if I ran into the-jerk-who-shall-not-be-named. I skirt the uncomfortable parts of that conversation, mostly because the topic makes me want to cry.

Once we get to my brother’s house, I play with Kody while Lainey prepares his dinner. When it’s ready, I put him in his high chair and watch him shove food in his cute little face.

Lainey starts talking about preseason training, because it’s safe conversation and that’s where RJ is right now. She keeps trying to convince me to come to the arena with her, and while I love my brother and I’m actually a fan of hockey, I tend to shy away from attending his games.

I’ve had issues in the past with people using me to get to my brother. Being part of a brand-new expansion team in a city like Seattle is a big deal, so it’s easier if I’m settled with friends of my own and the excitement of the start of the season has died down before I entertain the idea of going to games. I love my brother, and I don’t begrudge him his success, but it can be hard to handle, and sometimes I succumb to inferior-little-sister syndrome.