“I don’t know if I would classify that as a smile, and that’s someone he knew from college. And she’s married.”

A tiny seed of hope forms, but I squash it down. “How do you know that?”

He enlarges the picture until I can see the rock on her ring finger. “Me and Bishop had it out right after this. Like immediately after that picture was taken, we basically threatened to kill each other.”

“You what?” I look my brother over. There are no signs of injury, but then all I can see is his body from the neck up and the biceps down. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he’s fine. I mean, I punched him a few times, and he punched me, but we’re over it. I was wrong, Stevie, and I’m sorry.”

“So he’s not over me?”

“No. Not even a little. He’s pretty much the opposite of over you.” He pulls me into an awkward, uncomfortable hug, thanks to the center console between us. “I should’ve listened to you. I made it about me when it wasn’t, and I interfered when I shouldn’t have, but to be fair, you’d just had your heart ripped out, and I really didn’t want to see you go through that again.”

“I know, and I appreciate you wanting to protect me, but all it really accomplished was me doubting myself even more.” The past week has sucked so much. The not knowing and feeling paralyzed by uncertainty.

He releases me and settles back in his seat. “I’m sorry for that. I just . . . I have a lot of guilt for not being able to be there for you and Mom when Dad passed.”

“But you were there.”

“But I wasn’t really.” He shakes his head. “I came to the funeral and went through the motions, but I wasn’t there in a way that counted for anything. I dealt with it by putting my head down and playing hockey when I should’ve been reaching out more to make sure you were okay. I wanted to find a way to fill that empty space, and I guess I figured if I could fill it for you, then it might help me too.”

It’s amazing how a few words can completely alter one’s perception. “I don’t need you to be anything but my brother, RJ. And I realize I’ve made our relationship difficult by only accepting the version of you that’s easy to handle and doesn’t come with screaming fans.”

“I get why you don’t like it, though.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I know I didn’t do a very good job of dealing with things when I first started out, and that made it hard for you.”

“It wasn’t a version of you I knew.” Or particularly liked. “But it’s different now. I haven’t been very fair to you, or Bishop. I haven’t really made an attempt to fit into all the parts of your life, just the ones I’m familiar and comfortable with, but it means I’m missing out on a lot.” I shift so I can sort of face him. “I kept thinking that if I stepped into your spotlight, I’d stop being me and all anyone would see is your little sister, because frankly, it felt like that a lot in high school. And then you went through that phase and, well . . . that was awkward.” Especially when girls would slip me their number and ask me to pass it to my brother. Or pretend to be my friend so they could get close to him.

“I’m really sorry my choices affected you like that. And it killed me when you wouldn’t talk to me back then.”

“I was so mad at you for being a super-dirty man-whore. I looked up to you my entire life, and then you became someone I didn’t know.”

“It cost me a lot, Stevie. Not just my relationship with you and Mom.”

“I know, and I don’t want to keep dredging up that past and making us wallow in it. I’m just telling you how it impacted me.”

“Well, I think we’re even, now that there’s a video of you making out with one of my teammates.”

I cock a brow. “Not quite the same as a threesome in a hot tub, RJ, and you know it.”

He makes a face. “Let’s never bring up either of those things ever again.”

“Deal.”

We’re both silent for a while before RJ speaks again. “I think when we tried to fix things between us, maybe we swung too far in the opposite direction, especially after Dad passed.”

“I can see that. I just want RJ my brother, not this weird dad-bro hybrid. I love that you have my back, even when I make stupid mistakes, but more than anything I want to feel like we’re equals, not like I’m the kid sister you need to take care of.”

“I can’t promise I won’t be protective, because that’s just me, and if Bishop screws you over, I’ll beat his ass, but I’m going to do my best to just be your brother.”

“You can’t beat his ass.”

“I actually have his permission.”

“Why would he give you permission to do something like that?”

RJ gives me his “come off it” look. “Because he has it bad for you.”

“You really think so?”

“I don’t think, I know. And can we address the fact that you hooked up with the one guy on my team I hate?”

“It’s not a hookup, and you let me move in across the hall from him, so you have no one to blame but yourself.”

“I knew I should’ve moved you into the pool house when I had the chance.”