He rubs his temple. “This is kind of a mind fudge.” That he’s back to censoring his language is a good sign.

“It absolutely is. And I don’t expect you to be okay with it today, or tomorrow, or even next week. I understand that it’s going to take time to process this and that you might be angry, or hurt, or both. But please know that Jake and I never meant for this to happen, none of it. I didn’t want to put stress on your relationship with Queenie or my relationship with you.” Realistically, I’m aware that no matter what happens, whether I’m able to carry this baby full term or not, this will irrevocably shift things. I can only hope that Ryan and I can find our way through this and come out the other side stronger. Again.

“Are you and Jake going to be together?” I can’t read him right now to know whether or not that’s something he’s going to be okay with. And regardless, it’s a decision Jake and I will have to make, in time.

“I can’t answer that yet. We understand the layers and complexity of our very interconnected families aren’t simple to navigate.” What Jake and I were to each other before this has changed. We’re not just two adults enjoying each other’s company. Now we’re facing months of uncertainty and an even more complicated relationship. There are so many things to figure out, and all of it seems overwhelming. “What I can tell you is that if there are no complications, Jake and I will work together to make sure this child knows he or she is loved by both parents.”

He flips his hand and closes his fingers around mine, so my hand basically disappears inside his mitt. “Not gonna lie, this is going to make our already weird family that much weirder.”

“I know. I’m sorry about that.” And I am, more than he’ll ever know. “Aside from the whole over forty and pregnant thing, that’s definitely one of the first things I thought about when I found out.”

Ryan’s frown turns into a grimace. “I’m so sorry, Han. I’m being a selfish brat and thinking only about myself. This has to be scary for you. Do you need me to come back to Tennessee with you? What can I do to help?”

I squeeze his hand, aware that Ryan can sometimes course correct and go overboard by doting. “You’ve never been a selfish brat a day in your life. Your reaction is completely understandable, so please, Ryan, don’t beat yourself up for having feelings about this that aren’t easy to deal with. I’m going to see my doctor as soon as I get home. I’ll have to have some tests to make sure the baby and I are healthy, and then we’ll make a plan from there.”

“Is Jake coming back with you then?”

“Once I have an ultrasound scheduled, he’ll come out.” Jake and I clearly have a lot to talk about. We need a clear picture of where we are with this pregnancy before we can have the more difficult discussions.

“Right. Okay. Do you really think you’ll stay in Tennessee, though?”

“Honestly, I don’t know, Ryan. My life is there, and with my history, I can’t start planning a move. It’s too early to know.” There’s security and stability in Tennessee, and the thought of giving that up with so many unknowns is unnerving. And with this pregnancy I want to be a little selfish.

I can see the worry in his eyes. “I know this is something you always wanted, to have another baby. I really hope this time you get to do that.”

“Me, too.” I want to believe he’s okay with this, but it feels like I’ve opened Pandora’s box, and we’ve just scratched the surface of what’s inside.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

More Questions Than Answers

Jake

QUEENIE STARES AT the closed door for a few seconds before she slips her arm through mine and guides me to her car. I glance back at the house more than once. I’m not sure what I expect. King to come bursting out of the door like the Hulk?

“They’ll be fine,” she tells me as she unlocks the door and gets into the car.

“Yeah.” I just don’t want any big decisions being made without me. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard King swear before.”

“Oh, he swears. Not often, but he does.” Queenie smirks for a second before she schools her expression. “They need time to talk. Their relationship is more complicated than most, and King can’t handle being lied to. So even though that wasn’t what you were doing intentionally, he perceives it differently and is more sensitive to it than would be reasonable for anyone else.”

I know this about King, and until today I thought I understood it and him. “I get that he’s not happy about the situation, but I hope he’s a lot more subdued with Hanna than he was with me.”

“Don’t worry. He’ll calm down. He needs to talk to Hanna without an audience.” She gives my arm a squeeze, and a wide grin spreads across her face as she turns the engine over and shifts the car into gear. “How are you feeling about all of this? Are you excited?”

I run a hand through my hair. “I don’t know. There’s a lot that we need to figure out. And she hasn’t even seen the doctor yet. A lot could happen in the next few months.”

“Are you two going to be a couple now?” She’s practically vibrating with excitement, which I wish I could share more of. “I mean, eventually Hanna will move out here, right?”

“I don’t know about that.”

Queenie’s face falls, like it did back at the house. “But how will you raise the baby together if one of you doesn’t move?”

“Neither of us expected this to happen, so it’s one step at a time. The risks are a lot higher at her age.” Even if everything goes smoothly, there’s the whole figuring out a co-parenting plan.

The possibility that Hanna will want to stay in Tennessee and do it all on her own doesn’t sit well with me. Not because I don’t think she’s capable, but I’ve been there before. Even with help, it’s not easy. I don’t want to force her into moving, but in an ideal world, she’d relocate here and we’d be able to raise this kid together.

And maybe it won’t have to be a co-parenting only scenario if that happens. Having an actual partner, someone to lean on, to trade off with in the middle of the night, being a family in the true sense is something I wanted for Queenie but could never give her. If I can do better this time, that would be great.

Queenie makes a right, and I have to assume we’re heading to the local diner for a greasy brunch. “Well, I think the two of you would make a great couple.”

“You do?”

“Seriously?” She gives me a look that matches the word. “I called it from the first time you met.”

“You did?” I feel a tad clueless at the moment. It’s almost like Queenie could see this coming. Although maybe not the baby part of the equation.

“Well, yeah. You two were smitten from the start.”

“I wouldn’t say I was smitten.” I remember very vividly the first time I met Hanna. King’s entire family had come down to see him play, and they had brought along his ex-girlfriend as a surprise. I’d been sure I’d have to trade King at the end of the season. But that only lasted a couple of hours. Until he showed up at the house, looking for Queenie.