After JJ was born, Hanna and I had a long discussion about what she wanted. I knew what I wanted as far as our relationship went. I’d known for months. I’d gone out and bought the engagement ring two weeks after JJ was born. I didn’t want to push too fast, worried I’d repeat the same mistakes as I had last time. But Hanna is a different woman. She’s invested in our son and us, as a couple and a family.

Still, I don’t ever want her to feel boxed in, so I let her set the speed. Two months after JJ was born, Hanna gave notice and broke her lease, aware she wasn’t ever going to stay there and the only time it ever got used was when we went on one of our grocery shopping trips. Which we made a habit of visiting every week until the lease ran out. After that, she figured we could drop JJ off at King and Queenie’s if we really needed to swing from the rafters. Which we’ve done a couple of times.

At the five-month mark, we had another discussion, this time about her return-to-work plan. It coincided with JJ learning how to roll over and his first teeth. The waking up in the middle of the night because his gums hurt was taking its toll on both of us. We knew it was temporary, though. So we powered through it. But we also knew there were more milestones coming, and we still had a handful of years before JJ was school age.

I want her to have the full motherhood experience, whatever that looks like for her. I don’t want her to have any regrets. And she is a phenomenal mother. Dedicated, patient, loving, and so, so gentle.

Six months after JJ was born, Hanna made the call to shift from her modified remote schedule with her accounting firm to working with Violet on a contract basis. It was the perfect solution and gave her the freedom she needed and the independence she loves. And the opportunity to work with one of my closest friends’ wife was definitely a plus. She needs her own friend group and colleagues to talk shop with, and I’ll support her in whatever way she needs me to.

Because she’s not only the mother of our child, she’s my partner in every way.

Seven months after JJ was born, I proposed.

She said yes.

We got married the following summer and JJ was our ring bearer.

Along with my daughter, Hanna and JJ are the best things to happen to me.

I thought I had everything I needed, until they came along.

And gave my heart a home.