“Yes, she wants everyone to have a chance to sleep in it. Carlos and Arianna were the only two of her own children that didn’t get to.”

The Keller family was an eclectic mix, Madeline thought. Regan and Arianna had been adopted by the Kellers when Regan was only an infant and Arianna was two years old. Their little brother, Curtis, was the Kellers’ only natural-born child, and he was a year younger than Regan. Carlos had been adopted by Emily and Alan Keller when he was seven, after a car accident had killed his parents.

When Madeline had given birth to Eduardo, Emily gave her and Carlos the bassinet for their children. Now it was Tyler’s turn. “I guess Clara was the last one to sleep in it,” Madeline reminisced.

“I can’t believe she’s eleven.”

“Tell me about it. The boys are both teenagers.” She looked at Regan. “I’m not that old, am I?”

Regan touched her arm. “Heavens, no.”

They laughed, but when Tyler stirred, they both stopped and watched.

“I fed him only fifteen minutes ago. He should be pretty happy for now. Would you like to hold him?”

“Oh, Regan, he’s sleeping. Don’t bother him.”

“Give me a break. You drove forty-five minutes out here to see him. I know you, Madeline. You came to hold the baby.” Regan reached for her son. “He’ll sleep just as fine in your arms as he will in that bassinet.”

She adjusted the blanket around him as she handed him to Madeline.

Madeline sat down on the couch with the baby, who cooed against her. “He’s so perfect.”

“He is, isn’t he?” Regan adjusted into the corner of the couch and relaxed.

“Eduardo had hair like this.” She smoothed her hand over Tyler’s thick, dark hair. “Christian and Clara were both bald. Remember?” Regan nodded her answer with a yawn. “Time flies.”

She let him wrap his tiny hand around her finger, and she felt the tug in her heart. It seemed so long ago when Carlos had sat by her side in the hospital and they admired their first baby. “I wonder if his hair will stay dark like yours or if he’ll get his daddy’s light hair.”

“Hmmm,” was all Regan said. Her head had cocked to the back of the couch, and her eyes had closed. Madeline simply smiled and sat quietly. She’d been there too. It would never cease to amaze her how mothers did it. They could go and go with no sleep and provide the essentials that their babies needed. But when exhaustion took over, it was like running right into a wall.

The struggles of motherhood were just like the cancer that was taking over her body. In order to survive it, she would have to love herself as she loved her children. She would need to have hope, just as she had when her children became their own people and began to experience new things. And she’d need to remember to take care of herself as she’d neglected to do for the past fifteen years while she doted on her own babies. It would be easier if Carlos were there with her.

“Well, little man, you’ve been born into one of the most wonderful families in the world. You’ll be well taken care of,” she whispered, kissing him atop the head and wondering if she’d see him grow up.

“You look natural doing that,” Carlos said from the doorway, watching her.

His voice startled her, and she froze, trying not to wake the baby as her heart pounded in her chest. “Dear God, you scared me to death.” She tried to ease back into the couch without stirring Tyler. She looked up at the man who had once captured her heart and somehow continued to do so. His long, lean body and handfuls of wavy black hair played with her imagination too often. “How long have you been standing there?”

“A few minutes. Did you knock her out?” He nodded toward his sister.

Madeline let out a sigh. “She’s so tired. I was surprised Audrey or your mother weren’t here to help her.”

“Yeah, right. You know Regan. She wanted to do it alone. Besides, Audrey had a hair appointment.”

“Where are the kids?”

“They’re putting their things in your car. I told them to stay outside so they didn’t bother the baby. Clara is pouting, but the boys are fine with it.”

Madeline looked back down at the sleeping baby in her arms. “Well, sweetheart, I guess I’d better go. I’m glad I got to meet you.”

“You don’t have to put him down. Stay as long as you’d like.”

“Oh, I should get them home and settled.” She rose and put Tyler back in the bassinet. She laid a kiss on her fingers and gently pressed it to his cheek. “Good-bye.”

She stood from the bassinet and felt the room begin to spin around her.

“Whoa.” Carlos was at her side steadying her. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah.” She tried to regain her balance. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look so well. Why don’t you sit down?” He held tight to her arms.

“I really should be going.”

“Madeline, there’s no need for you to run. You’re still part of this family.”

She smiled and nodded. The entire Keller family had always made her feel right at home, even after she and Carlos had divorced.

She took a deep breath and soaked in the feeling of Carlos’s hands on her. She missed him, and that, on top of everything that was happening to her, wasn’t helping her steady her emotions. Instead, his nearness and the heat of his body were stirring up feelings she had no right to have, not anymore.

“I’m okay now.” She reached her hand toward his chest, but he didn’t let her go.

Carlos’s eyes scanned over her slowly. “You’re sick. You should let me call Curtis and have him come look at you.”

“No.” She shook her head. “You’re not calling your brother to come and check up on me. I’m fine. I’m just coming down with something. All the better reason for me to go home before I get this little man sick.” She looked back down at the baby sleeping in the family bassinet. The sadness inside her stirred again. What she wouldn’t give to hold her children and watch them sleep with Carlos by her side once more.

Carlos steadied his eyes on hers and then stepped back. “If you need me, you call.”

“I will.”

“Let Matt know what happened.”

Madeline nodded. Once she had turned to Matt for comfort—whom was she going to turn to now that he was gone? “Thanks for meeting me out here with the kids.”