Estela giggles again. Ay, do?ita! Mi mamá, mis tías, primas—all of them worked until they gave birth, then rested a few hours, before going back to their oficios. That’s the way it’s done, Estela says with an assurance that might soon be tested in another kind of labor—without her mother, tías, older cousins around to fortify her with their certainties as she gives birth. One of the many losses accompanying the major loss of a homeland. Just as with Sam: Antonia is constantly ambushed by some painful reminder of his absence: his empty napkin ring in a drawer, the duct-tape repair he performed on the old vacuum cleaner, his boot jack in the back of the coat closet.

La doctora was very nice, Estela reports. She says everything looks good. El bebé is healthy and strong. La doctora wants Estela to take lessons. As far as Antonia can tell, it’s a free natural childbirth class sponsored by the hospital. But Estela cannot go because she has no rrride. It takes Antonia a moment to realize that Estela is using the English word, but mispronouncing it like a Spanish word. Less than a couple of weeks here and already speaking Spanglish.

Antonia broaches the delicate subject of Mario. Estela hesitates, but before she can speak up, Roger enters the room from outdoors.

Sorry to barge in, Antonia greets him. We were just catching up.

Be my guest, Roger says. Maybe the tasty meal that awaits him has opened up not just his appetite but his heart.

So, tell me, ?cómo va todo? Antonia returns to the troublesome question. Estela again glances toward Roger, washing his hands at the sink. Acuérdate: el se?or no entiende espa?ol, Antonia reminds the girl. Estela can tell her the truth in Spanish without any risk of Roger understanding.

Estela confesses that Mario still wants nothing to do with her. She seems on the verge of tears, so Antonia drops the subject and asks Roger if she can have a word with him. Not a good idea to speak of the coming raid with Estela in the room. The girl might not understand the content but she’ll pick up on the tension. She has already been through more than enough. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. Why hasn’t anyone made that into a magnet? Another demographic’s chestnut. Maybe it’s time to reinstate it in her circles?

Out in the mudroom, Roger stamps his foot when Antonia alerts him about the immigration enforcement plans. Goddamn damn it all! Interfering government people. What’s he supposed to do? He glares at Antonia as if it’s her doing, this Scylla-Charybdis predicament he is in. Another modern equivalent she might have mentioned to her students, citing her neighbor’s no-win situation, either break the law or lose his farm.

I asked my source the same thing, Antonia explains. I was told the best thing is to keep the workers on the farm. No driving them into town for groceries or other errands.

Roger jerks his head toward the kitchen, where they can hear the sounds of Estela finishing up her cleaning. What about her? I can’t be responsible for driving her to the hospital when her time comes.

As soon as Izzy is in their custody, Antonia will have to leave town again. Who knows what the next few months will entail, connecting Izzy with the treatment she needs. Tilly will head back to Ill-y-noise, and Mona to North Carolina. As the close-by sister, Antonia will have her hands full. More than enough good excuses to pass on Estela’s care. Antonia has got to stand firm. But still, it feels wrong to be playing hot potato with a human being.

I can take her for a couple of nights until I have to leave again, Antonia offers. Maybe she can ask Lulu, who knows everyone in the migrant community, for any suggestions. Maybe Lulu can house the forlorn girl and her baby. Estela could even help out with the cooking, earn a little money herself. Of course, Lulu will soon be scrambling to close up her kitchen, sounding the alarm among the migrant workers in the county. The migra is coming, the migra is coming. Antonia can feel the agitation in her own heart. It’s going to be a job keeping everyone from panicking.

Antonia recalls how patients would often call Sam in the middle of the night full of dread over some pain or problem. He always managed to calm them. What is it he would do that she can do now? Once she had asked him how he navigated his way past the Scylla and Charybdis moments in his life? (She had already explained the allusion, years back.) He thought it over, then shook his head. All he could think of was what his mother would always say when she found herself in a tough situation, drying her hands on her apron, Well, let’s see what love can do.

Another fridge magnet: this one with Sam’s mom’s words. But Sam would scoff at needing to highlight what was only common sense and basic decency. Be like reminding yourself to breathe—which Antonia reminded him has been a reminder given to her by any number of yoga and meditation teachers over the years. Let’s see what love can do, Antonia counsels herself now. The answers won’t come easy or quick or maybe at all. Maybe just asking the question will calm her enough to continue through the confusion of the present moment to whatever small certitude awaits.

While Estela collects her things in a satchel at the trailer, Antonia delivers the news to José and Mario. They are grim and silent. What will el patrón do now? The two men look to her, as if she were their puppeteer. ?Nos vamos? Do they run before they are thrown out—of the farm and the country?

Right now, the best move is to stay calm, not leave the farm for any reason. She’s taking Estela with her por si acaso. In case the girl goes into labor tonight. Antonia will drive her to the hospital. It’s all I’ve told her, Antonia says, lowering her voice. Best not to worry her with this troubling information for now.

But what if you are stopped? Mario wants to know. What will they do with Estela? Will she be deported? A good sign, Antonia thinks, his showing some curiosity if not yet full-blown concern about the girl he has discarded.

We will be fine, she assures him. It’s unlikely the sheriff would stop her to inquire about the pregnant girl riding beside her. In fact, Boyer might even give her a police escort, lights flashing, to the ER if Antonia were to ask. He’s probably in his kitchen now eating his chicken empanadas with his mother, not knowing—or perhaps knowing—what panic will soon be traveling through the bloodstream of the underground population in his county. To his credit, Boyer did what love would allow him to do given his position as sheriff at this moment in time. Maybe there will be more to do and he will do it.

On the drive back to the house, Estela chatters about all the new things she has discovered in the last few days since Antonia left. El patrón’s televisor, his popcorn machine, a lámpara that swirls with a thick gelatinous substance. Roger has a lava lamp! The magical theme park that is the First World to the migrant, the refugee, the wretched refuse from other teeming shores, until the discovery that admission to the magic show is denied them.

Suddenly, a conejo jumps into the headlights. Antonia veers and misses. Rabbit. Estela recalls the word in English from Antonia’s lessons during their drive a few days ago. Several more words come as they pass familiar landmarks out the window.

You are a very good student, Antonia praises her.

I finished la primaria, Estela brags. Until her mother needed her at home. Six little sisters to help take care of. A small plot of land to farm.

?Y estrella? Antonia points at a star in the darkening sky, testing her stellar student. But Estela can’t recall the word in English. Star, Antonia pronounces. Same as your name. Estela means star, you know?

Estar, Estela repeats, mispronouncing the English so that it sounds like estar in Spanish. Antonia recalls the little rhyme she was taught to distinguish between ser for permanence and estar for what is fleeting. For how you feel or where you are, always use the verb estar.

Estar, estar, Estela practices, giggling each time she is corrected. As they turn into the drive, the floodlights come on, the garage door lifts. Estela claps her hands in wonder and delight. The world of el norte is indeed magical.

Do?ita, why can’t I live here, too? If my child is born here, he will have the right, and I, his mother, won’t? The great injustice of circumstance, Antonia might say to a class of her students. What to say to this girl? We will see what love can do?

nine

Air quotes

Good news! the sisters report. Izzy has now been reunited with Tilly and Mona. They have set up an intervention in Boston with a psychiatrist who is the leading light on bipolar disorders. It would be ideal if all three sisters were present. Just saying, Mona says, when Antonia protests that it sounds like overkill. Izzy will feel ganged up on. Two sisters should be more than enough.

United, we stand, divided, Izzy falls, Mona counters.

This is good news? Antonia wonders. The new normal. The new good news. Shouldn’t the phrase be in air quotes? Is there a way to air quote when no one can see your hands? A tone of voice. He-llo-oh?! her students would say, in a singsong, to suggest irony.

The appointment is a day away, Friday. How soon can Antonia get here?

Let me see what I can do, Antonia gives in.