“Forget about that.” I offer her my handkerchief, and she takes it like it’s the Holy Grail. “You don’t have to defend me, Lucy. I can stand up for myself just fine.”

“I just didn’t want it to get out of hand between you two. Nao can be really vindictive.”

“Nao?” I raise a brow. “She lets you call her that?”

“Ugh. Old habits. We used to be friends. Best friends, actually.”

“What happened?”

“She hates me since the whole Seb thing. She thinks I knew and didn’t tell her and that I betrayed her.” She lifts a shoulder. “Doesn’t matter.”

God, I feel as evil as Hitler. Wait, maybe I was Hitler in a previous life. After all, we’re both dictators with a tendency for craziness.

“I’m so sorry, Luce.” I squeeze her arm lightly.

She stares with wide eyes, her jaw nearly hitting the floor.

“Lucy?” I wave a hand in front of her face. Shit, I think I broke the poor girl.

“Uh…yeah…sorry. It’s just…we studied together since high school and that’s the first time I’ve heard you apologize.”

“Don’t be silly. Everyone apologizes.”

“Not you, Reina. You don’t do apologies, you don’t offer me your handkerchief, and you sure don’t stay back to make sure any of us are fine.”

Bile rises to my throat as her words strike me like a whip. I was fake. Vain. Selfish.

A shell.

The worst type of person to ever exist.

The thought hurts more than I’d like to admit. It’s like perching over a snow globe and watching myself. From the outside looking in, I had the perfect face and body. I had the grades and the cheerleading squad. I had Dad’s fortune and Alex’s endless support.

But if I look closer, I see a trapped girl. A hollow life.

A nothingness.

Maybe Asher was right to call me a monster.

That gloomy cloud creeps over me and crawls over my skin.

Disgusting.

You’re disgusting.

You should die.

“Are you okay?” Lucy asks.

I force myself out of my head and fake a smile. “I’m fine.”

“Don’t let what Bree said get to you. She’s thinking about the team. Without you, our spirits were pretty low, you know.”

No, I don’t know. Why the hell is someone like me popular amongst these girls? I’m not an example they should look up to.

I’m everything they need to avoid.

“I’ll go with you,” I tell Lucy.

Her eyes light up like a Christmas tree. “You will?”

I interlink my arm with hers and she freezes, her body going tense. I pull back just as fast. Apparently, I didn’t use to do that, and if I keep giving her too many surprises, she might break for real this time.

On our way to the gym, my skin prickles with unwanted attention. At first I think it’s the usual students gawking at me.

It never stops—the attention, the waves, the fake greetings. Today, I contemplated covering my head and remaining in bed.

The only reason I didn’t is because my head scares me. If I stay alone with it, I’ll be doomed. I’ll take the fake flattery over that gloomy cloud any day.

Lucy nudges me, giggling under her breath. When I follow her field of vision, my ears heat.

Asher.

My eyes find him of their own volition. I don’t even need to search for him anymore. It’s crazy how much his presence draws me in.

Sometimes, I think I’m still that lifeless form in the hospital and he’s the one who breathed life into me.

Sure, it’s a toxic life, sinister and dark, but it’s life all the same.

The weird awareness of his presence must be because he’s the reason behind my return to life.

Delusional much, Reina?

He seems to be out on a run since he’s wearing a sleeveless T-shirt and shorts. Lucy tells me he’s been practicing with the track team since he returned, but it’s not official.

I’m not listening to her.

My focus is on the tattoo lines snaking over the top of his bicep, rippling with every step he takes.

The T-shirt is glued to his six-pack like a second skin. His damp hair sticks to his forehead. The dark strands are begging to be pushed back, gripped, combed.

A few guys walk on either side of him, but he doesn’t seem focused on them. Since his aviators are gone, I can finally see his expression.

His eyes are lost in an indifferent zone, like nothing really matters to him. It’s so similar to my gloomy cloud, which tells me to just let go.

It says there’s no use in being here.

Maybe Asher doesn’t like people to see that expression. Is that why he wears sunglasses all the time?

Except, well, he’s usually friendly with everyone around him—except with me.

It could be he’s putting up a façade, too. I always catch myself faking smiles in front of the squad and everyone at school.

Asher’s dark eyes meet mine, and my world shifts for a second.

How can a look hold so many promises and threats and…something else I can’t identify?

A slow humming starts at my spine and twists the bottom of my stomach. This is what it feels like to be caught in someone’s orbit.

It’s dangerous. It’s wrong. It’s…thrilling.

My gaze finds his mouth, that warm mouth that isn’t as cold as the rest of him. I’m taken back to that time when those lips and teeth and tongue were all over my neck, my ears.

Me.

I cut off eye contact and quicken my pace to the gym.

Still, my body temperature won’t go down, and my heart beats as if I were the one running.

In the gym, Prescott and the other guys are practicing some throws with the girls. Bree stands at the head, huffing and screaming at them to do better.

Everyone pauses upon my entrance, and Bree stares back with an impatient look. When she sees me, her brows scrunch together. “You’re here.”

“I am.”

“You should’ve seen her with Asher just now,” Lucy says in a dreamy voice. “You guys are the best couple ever. You can feel the chemistry in the air.”

“That’s not true!” I shout as if she spoke blasphemy.

“Shut it, Luce.” Bree snaps her fingers. “Go warm up.”

The latter ducks her head and heads to the locker room.

“Stop being so mean to her,” I tell Bree, crossing my arms.

“Mean? What are you talking about?”

It’s like this is a normal occurrence. Hell, I could’ve been exactly like her in the past.

Bree inches toward me but keeps her hawk-like gaze on the team. “So, who’s the target of our next dare?”

“No one,” I say loud enough for everyone to hear. “That nonsense will end now.”

She laughs but leans in to hiss, “Even you can’t change the rules, Reina.”

A flash stabs my head as a memory invades my senses.

We shouldn’t have broken the rules, Reina.

I sit cross-legged on the rooftop of the college and cradle a plate on my lap.

My gaze gets lost in the buildings that extend all over the city. It’s not exactly beautiful, but it’s ancient.