Up and down. Up and down.

The friction his touch creates is like a soothing lullaby. A reason to breathe. To remain here.

Asher must’ve showered because his hair is half damp, falling over his forehead in a perfect mess. With the bedside lamp on, the green of his eyes flickers to a darker color like the night or… the unknown.

Why do I keep gravitating toward the unknown? Is it the thrill? The feeling of having my will taken away?

True, that unknown keeps the gloomy cloud at bay. Asher’s presence, although not always pleasant, has been an anchor.

Something I can lean on, something I can watch and breathe.

“What was it?” he asks in that suspicious tone that he’s been using with me since I woke up in the hospital.

It’s like I breathe and he suspects I have an ulterior motive behind that.

“Reina.”

One word. It’s just one word, my name, but he says it with so much authority, so much power, my thighs quiver.

How would it feel like if he used that voice while he’s inside me and —

I internally shake my head. That’s a totally wrong image at this time.

“It was…” My voice comes out hoarse as if I’ve been shrieking at the top of my lungs. I clear my throat. “Just a dream.”

“What kind of dream?” His piercing gaze remains the same, hard and unyielding.

He’s not letting this go.

I lean my head further so it lies on his solid shoulder and I get a complete view of his features. Something has changed about them, they’re almost… softening.

There’s no trace of the Asher who only looked at me with pure hatred.

“It’s not important,” I say.

“Tell me and I’ll decide whether it’s important or not.”

“It doesn’t make sense, okay?” I sigh. “I was calling someone else Reina. It’s obviously some play of my subconscious.”

“Play of your subconscious,” he repeats with a neutral tone as if he’s feeling the words or trying to figure out why I said them.

His expression remains sealed for the most part, but his grip around me tightens a little. “What else happened?”

“The voice called me Rai and we promised each other things… I don’t know. I told you. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Have you had such dreams before?”

“Yeah. A few times.” I pause, squinting at the distance. “Now that I think about it, it was always like I was talking to myself.”

“Talking to yourself. Interesting.”

“Why? What do you think happened?”

The calculating streak rushes back to his features. “I’m piecing it together myself.”

“It doesn’t make sense, what’s there to piece?”

“Is that what you really think?”

I swallow the lump at the back of my throat. “I…don’t know.”

And I don’t want to know. Those dreams must be some cruel joke from my subconscious. Otherwise, things will turn for the worst.

That could mean I have a dissociative personality disorder or something. That’s the only explanation for the fact I talk to myself and have two names for me.

There’s also the possibility of a twin, but it’s null and void. I’ve been an only child my entire life.

The up and down of Asher’s thumb on my hip stops for a second before resuming.

My heart picks up speed the more he touches me. I’m drowning in him. In his aftershave with that light citrus, masculine scent. In the warmth of his embrace.

How could he become so warm after he was so cold?

What changed?

“Why are you here, Ash?” I ask in a low tone.

“It’s Asher,” I swear he stopped himself from rolling his eyes. “And you were crying last night, remember? You kind of clung to me.”

“You could’ve left when I was asleep. Actually, you did. You had a shower and a change of clothes. So why did you come back?”

He’s silent for a few seconds, the air stretching with unsaid words, before a deep sigh rips from him. “Go back to sleep, Reina.”

I dig my fingers harder into his chest. “No. Tell me. If you hate me so much, why do you keep coming back to me?”

His silence war returns and I expect him to shut me off, to pretend we never had this conversation.

Hell, I expect him to get up and walk out of the room. Sure, I should’ve had what I could get from Asher. I should’ve probably kept my mouth shut and slept in his embrace and pretended nothing happened.

But I owe myself so much more than that.

True, Old Reina was a devil’s spawn and she hurt Asher in some way, but I’m not her anymore. If he can’t see that, if he can’t differentiate between the two of us, then he doesn’t deserve the new me.

Instead of pushing me off and walking away, Asher’s jaw clenches and his eyes find mine. They’re green, raw, and…confused?

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t?” I whisper as I feel his words hitting a deep, secret part of me.

A part I thought was sealed and protected.

A part I thought Asher would never reach.

How could his mere words open the gates to my armored heart? How could I let him touch me so deeply?

Am I too far gone?

Asher flips me over and I land underneath him with a gasp. His massive body hovers over me as his thighs cage mine and one of his hands prisons both my wrists above my head on the pillow.

My heart rate picks up and a strange sensation claws at the bottom of my stomach. No, not strange. That sensation is exclusive to Asher. Whenever he’s in view, whenever he’s in my immediate vicinity, that need to fuse myself with him grips my being and refuses to let go.

He’s tenacious that way, Asher.

He broke me in a whole different way than he initially planned. He was after my spirit, he got my heart.

My stupid, fluttering heart.

“Yes, Reina. I don’t know why the fuck I can’t stop thinking about your laugh and your smile. I don’t know why I keep watching you all the time. I don’t know why my dick only comes to life when you’re around.” He strokes his thumb along my jaw, keeping me pinned in place. “So why don’t you tell me? What type of fucking game are you playing this time?”

With every word out of his mouth, my chest flutters and my thighs become slick with arousal.

Softening my tone, I whisper. “No games. It’s me. Just me.”

“Just you.”

“Just me.”

“Even if I say you’re mine now?”

I smile despite myself. Deep down, I think I knew I belonged with Asher since the time I woke up in the hospital. I guess I was just too proud to admit it back then.

I fought it. God, I fought it so much, but the answer has always been tucked in the darkest pits of my soul.

“Yes,” I murmur.

Asher rolls his hips, lowering himself to me. An unmistakable erection nestles between my thighs, hard and ready. “Say you’re mine.”

“I’m yours.” It’s the easiest words I had to say.

A groan rips from the back of his throat as he slams his lips to mine. The ferocity of his passion ignites my own and I have no choice but to kiss him back, get lost in his hard mouth and the unspoken words he’s telling me with his lips.