“Just go!” I repeated, grabbing at Kevin’s ankles as he tried to get to my keys. Adeena threw the statue at him but he dodged it, slowing down enough for me to wrap my arms around his ankles and pull him down with me. Before I could get up and follow Adeena out, I got a swift boot to the face. Everything went blindingly white, my whole body going limp at the sudden shock wave of pain.

Through the haze of pain, I could see Kevin gaining on Adeena. There was no way I’d reach him in time. My eyes scanned the room, trying to find something, anything, that would save us. The dog statue! Without hesitation, I grabbed it and hurled it at him with all the strength I could muster.

Some higher power must’ve guided my arm because I scored a direct hit to the back of his head and he tumbled to the floor, pulling a table down with him.

Kevin lay in a crumpled heap under the table, a pool of blood slowly seeping out from underneath him.

“Oh my God, I killed him.”

I crawled over to his inert body, pulled the table off him, and crossed myself. Then I kneeled beside him, reciting every prayer I could dredge up from memory, rocking back and forth as I cried.

That’s how Detective Park found me, crouched by Kevin’s body, hugging myself with tears streaming down my face, as I repeated that I killed him over and over again.

“Ms. Macapagal?” I didn’t respond. He repeated himself. I still said nothing. “Lila?” I looked up at him.

“I need you to move so the EMTs can get to him when they arrive.” I continued staring blankly at him. “You didn’t kill him. Look, he’s still breathing.”

I didn’t believe him. How could he not be dead? He was so still, and I’d heard the crack his head had made as it connected with the statue, and look at all that blood. But the ambulance arrived moments later and an EMT confirmed what the detective said before taking Kevin away.

“You should probably go to the hospital as well. You’re looking a little banged up,” Detective Park said.

I shook my head. “I just want to go home.”

He nodded. “I’ll take you there as soon as someone examines you. An officer can bring your car around. And when you’re ready . . . I have some questions for you.”

“Lucky for you, I’ve got the answers, Detective.”

Chapter Forty-one

It was the grand reopening of Tita Rosie’s Kitchen, and I’d never seen the place so packed. Nothing like getting cleared of a double homicide for some free publicity.

On top of the usual suspects, I’d also extended invitations to all the restaurant owners who’d been burned by Derek but had helped me clear my name. Stan and Martha, George and Nettie, Elena and her mom, even the Satos were there, though they left after a brief appearance. I made a note to visit Yuki again soon—something told me she could really use a friend.

When Terrence and Janet arrived, I surprised everybody by running up to Janet and giving her a hug. She surprised everyone else by squeezing me back and giving a heartfelt thank-you. She’d woken up a few days after the incident with Kevin and was finally able to come clean about her involvement in the whole sordid mess.

Kevin had been telling the truth when he said Janet was one of Derek’s suppliers. But after Jo overdosed, both Janet and Derek realized the irreparable damage they had done and tried to get out. Derek was in too deep to make a clean break, which is why he started passing information to Detective Park. It was also why he started the restaurant con with Mr. Long and the health inspector—if he was going to stop dealing, he needed to come up with a scheme that’d replace that lost income. He’d been with that drug syndicate since his college days, and he couldn’t have them getting suspicious about why the money was drying up.

“He really was doing his best to try and go straight,” Janet had told me the day after she’d woken up. I’d come to visit her in the hospital at Terrence’s request—she was being kept in the hospital for observation, but was technically under police custody and facing some hefty charges. “He also tried to keep my name out of it. No one else knew I was involved and he wanted me to have a normal life with Terrence.” Her face crumpled. “I guess there’s no chance of that now. But it’s my own fault. I’m just getting what I deserve.”

Terrence had been at her side the whole time at the hospital and he was at her side now, but I could see the effort all of this was costing him. Amir had gotten Janet off on bail, but he’d warned them that even with a plea deal, she was going to have to serve time for her crimes. Terrence had vowed to stay by her side throughout the whole ordeal, but whether or not marriage was still in their future remained to be seen. He was another one I had to keep a close eye on. I couldn’t continue letting these important relationships slip through the cracks.

As for Kevin, he had yet to wake up from the coma I’d put him in but was also facing some serious charges. Not only did he admit to killing Derek, Craig Nelson had rolled on him after Janet admitted her part of the scheme. Mr. Nelson had been brought in for questioning after Janet woke up and he confessed to everything: the restaurant con, the countywide drug dealing, even the fact that Mr. Long had been poisoning Derek with arsenic for months since he’d suspected Derek had turned on them.

When Derek and Mr. Long had met for that fateful lunch, Mr. Long had planned on giving him a large enough dose to kill him and blame it on the restaurant, but couldn’t since Tita Rosie and I were so solicitous. Then when Derek passed out, he panicked and wanted to dump the evidence, so he put it in Derek’s dessert dishes. Mr. Long was also the one who destroyed our kitchen and tainted the rice to put the cops on our trail.

The only thing Mr. Nelson didn’t confess to was Mr. Long’s murder. He had an airtight alibi for the night his best friend was killed, but pointed the finger at Kevin. In their last conversation together, Mr. Long told Mr. Nelson he knew it was Kevin who killed Derek and wanted to figure out a way to work that knowledge in his favor.

Kevin was going to have a lot to deal with when he woke up.

If he woke up.

I knew that I’d acted in self-defense. I also knew that if I had the chance to do it again, and it came down to choosing between mine and Adeena’s lives or his, I’d make the same choice every time.

But knowing something logically doesn’t take away the guilt.

Which was something Detective Park, of all people, made sure to talk to me about when he found me at the restaurant. “You made the only choice you could, Lila. Maybe it doesn’t feel like a good choice. But it was the right one. I have no doubt in my mind he would’ve killed both you and Adeena to get away.”

He put his hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eye. “I also know that this is something that never really goes away. It gets easier. With time. And therapy. And the right people around you.”

He waved his hand around the restaurant, gesturing toward my aunt, grandmother, and the Calendar Crew circling the room to make sure everyone was being fed properly. Bernadette and Marcus laughing it up with Adeena and Elena. Amir and Jae working behind the buffet table, doling out food and chitchat with our patrons.

Those last two caught me looking at them and broke into goofy grins and waved at me. I waved back, knowing sooner or later I’d have to deal with them. But not today. Or anytime soon, really. I’d come back to this town to nurse a broken heart and had immediately jumped back into a relationship with my ex, as if I were in a 90s rom-com and that was the solution to my problems. Maybe it was time to focus on the relationships I’d let fall by the wayside, like my family and Adeena and Terrence.

And I knew exactly how my new start would begin.

Earlier that morning, when my aunt and grandmother were already at the restaurant preparing for the reopening, Mrs. Long and Cate had called me into the dining room. Their bags were packed in Cate’s car and ready to go. I handed Mrs. Long a loaf of fresh-baked, salabat-spiced banana bread. She handed me a manila envelope.

“This is my way of thanking you. Don’t worry, it’s not money,” she said, sensing my protest. “I just want to make sure you’re taken care of. You’ve done so much for me, and . . .”

She trailed off, searching my face. “You know, don’t you? What I did?”

I nodded. I didn’t have to say anything else. We all knew. I guess it was finally time to have it out.

She nodded. “Of course you do. You were always so smart.” She started wringing her hands. “I never would’ve let your aunt get taken away. And I swear I wasn’t trying to pin the blame on your family. It’s just that Rosie had left the knife there the last time she made dinner for me, and it was so sharp and Ed . . . I overheard him talking to Craig about what he did to my son. What he was trying to do to you and your family. And I just couldn’t let him ruin anymore lives. So I confronted him. And he, he grabbed me and—”

She started crying and Cate put her arm around Mrs. Long. “We know, Nancy. Ed was a brute and a greedy, selfish bastard. I just wish I had come sooner. That I could’ve saved you from all this.”