Her married plastic surgeon.

Her young personal trainer.

She even had a dating app called NoToNosy where she’d met other married men. I didn’t get why Darren turned a blind eye to all the bullshit she threw in his face. He owed her nothing. A different man would have kicked us to the curb long ago.

I parked at the promenade and strode with purpose, hyperaware of the stares and looks. Walking in the middle of summer wearing a hoodie was odd. Being known as the girl who was into orgies and suicide? Even odder. One guy in particular made my steps falter. He wore a gray beanie, a white tank with the word “FREE” scribbled on it, and flowery board shorts. He didn’t look much older than me, leaning against a Mercedes, loitering in the way cool SoCal young people did. Like time was of no significance and youth was eternal. I thought he was going to talk to me. Luckily, it was just my overworked imagination and thriving paranoia. He smiled, gesturing with his hand to say hi. I ignored him, my pulse hammering against my eyelids. I descended the stairs leading to the café that was right on the beach, below the promenade. I couldn’t breeze in, knowing Pam and Bane would notice me. So I stayed outside, lurking by the chained bikes, until I spotted them from the glass windows, sitting in the same corner Bane and I had sat in when he’d made me that smoothie. My heart rebelled inside my chest. I felt cheated by both of them, when in truth, neither of them had promised me loyalty.

The thing was, one of them owed it to me, anyway.

I watched as Pam threw her head back and laughed at something Bane had said, fluffing her bleached blonde hair and pushing down the fabric of her pink cocktail dress. She swirled a manicured bubblegum-pink finger around the rim of her wine glass and nodded at what he said as if he’d just shared the cure to cancer with her.

Bane was slouched on the chair in front of her, talking lowly and looking blissfully bored. I’d learned his facial expressions by now. There weren’t that many. When he was invested, his eyes glittered like he was high on something. On life. But right now he looked like he was on the verge of yawning.

Pam reached across the table and put her palm on his, pressing her free one to her heart. He withdrew his hand without as much as a blink, tucking it into his pocket.

It was a tango of push and pull for the next ten minutes.

She flipped her hair. He pressed a button on his cell phone to check the time. She giggled. He craned his neck and glanced over her shoulder, barking something at Gail and Beck. She squeezed her arms together to show her ample cleavage. He leaned down to pet a dog that sat under the seat of the customer next to him. I was partly relieved at Bane’s rejection of her advances and partly furious that she had pretended to care about me when actually, all she wanted was to sleep with the guy who’d tried to befriend me. Most of all, I felt unequipped to deal with all the sudden changes in my life. So much so that it took me a few seconds to register that they had gotten up from their seats. By the time I snapped back into reality, Pam was already heading toward the door. I leaped behind the café, hiding behind a concrete wall. They both stepped out, and I could hear them chatting.

The flick of the lighter as Bane lit himself a joint. The suggestive purr Pam unleashed after he did.

“Sharing is caring,” she drawled.

“Spare me the bullshit, Pamela. You’re one of the most capitalist people I’ve ever met. You wouldn’t share a pile of shit if you thought someone else truly needed it.”

“You don’t have to be so harsh.”

“You don’t have to be so desperate.”

Pause. My heart swelled, and I was pretty sure I meant it in the literal sense of the word. I felt it spreading inside me, almost too big to carry.

“So what are your intentions with my daughter?” Her voice thickened as she took a hit of his joint. Bane’s answer came after a calculated pause.

“It’s not her panties that I’m after.”

“Good. Because she’ll never sleep with you.”

My cheeks flamed. It wasn’t that she was wrong. It was that she chose to tell him the truth because the underlining message was, but I will.

“I don’t look at her that way.”

“Like what?”

“Like a cum-soaked hole. Besides, she’s too young for me,” he snapped. My jaw tensed. He was only five years older. We’d both be in our twenties in a few weeks. Another invisible ivy branch curled around my leg, rising higher, toward my knee. Why does it bother you?

“Well, as long as you know…” Pam trailed off.

“Nice meeting you, Pamela. I hope to see a lot of you while hanging out—not sleeping—with your daughter.” And that was it. I watched from my hidden spot as Pam climbed up the stairs from the beach to the promenade. I gave Bane a few more minutes to finish his joint and get back inside before I stepped out of hiding, only to find out that he was still standing there.

Peachy.

Making a direct move toward the stairs without allowing any eye contact, I heard him sigh melodramatically behind my back.

“Next time you miss me, just give me a call. Although stalking is definitely a preferred method if your goal is to stroke my ego.”

I froze mid-step, a blush heating my face in an instant. I was doing a lot of blushing lately. That was another thing the new Jesse didn’t approve of.

“I was just…” I looked around me, searching for…what, exactly? A comfortable slice of sand I could stick my head into?

“You were just…?” He cocked an eyebrow, walking toward me. Each time I met him, I was knocked off balance by his sheer maleness. And not in a good way. Even in my memories, in which Bane was carved handsomely, I still couldn’t fully capture his sharp bone structure and bright green eyes. “Let me guess—you were just in the neighborhood and decided to drop by and see if I’d hit on your mom?” He leaned his shoulder against the glass wall of his café, his hands shoved deep inside his pockets. I kicked a little stone, sending it to the other side of the road, my eyes hard on my Keds.

“I told you, Snowflake. I ain’t gonna fuck up what we have.”

“So you keep saying,” I said.

“And so you keep not listening. Change of topic. What do you wanna do on the last day of your freedom?”

“Freedom?” I sounded dumb, even to my own ears. It was the cinnamon breath mixed with the ocean salt of his hair that did it. Standing so close to the man without running for my life felt like an accomplishment, but it didn’t leave me unaffected.

“Yeah.” He kicked his joint with his boot, shooting it to the sand like a soccer player. “Before you start gainful employment tomorrow.”

“Don’t you have any poor unfortunate souls to embezzle?” I tilted my chin up, crossing my arms over my chest. Bane laughed.

“Happy to report all the unfortunate souls I’m in charge of are blissfully embezzled. Have you done your ten-mile run for today?”

“How do you know about my ten-mile runs?” My forehead crumpled. Sure, he’d seen me jogging the night he scared away Henry and Nolan—but that seemed a particularly specific number. Ten miles. Bane’s eyes widened before his casual smirk returned.

“Mother Dearest told me a little about you today.”

“There’s nothing dear about her.”

“Looks like we’re in agreement on that one.” He unleashed his devil’s smile, then snapped his fingers and pointed at me. “Italian ice cream.”

“People will think it’s a date.” I bit my lower lip, hating that I cared. I was allowed to get out of El Dorado. I was allowed to date, if I wanted, not that I did. And I was allowed to go on an ice cream run with a male friend. I knew, logically, that all of those things were true, but it didn’t make them any less frightening.

“Right.” Bane tucked his wallet into his pocket. He was already striding toward the stairs. “Remind me who cares?”

“I do.” I stayed cemented in place. “I have a bad reputation.”

He stopped, staring at me. “Mine’s worse.”

“Wanna bet?” I snorted bitterly. He smiled one of his relaxed smiles that felt like a lullaby. His next sentence came as a hushed whisper. “Already told you. I heard all the rumors about you, Jesse. Fuck ’em. Fuck ’em to death. Fuck this town, and its preppy, judgmental residents, and every idiot who looks at us funny. Don’t you get it? We’re the outliers. The rejects. We’re free. Free to do whatever the hell we want, because it won’t matter. We’ll never fit in here, so we don’t have to try. We’re liberated from all this bullshit.” He motioned around us with his hand. “They can’t hurt you if you don’t give them permission to. So don’t.”

I took a step toward him, hesitant. People were coming in and out of Café Diem, and no one looked at us funny. Maybe that was part of the reason I liked hanging out with Bane. People weren’t quick to disrespect him. I still found it hard to believe that he wanted to hang out with me after all the rumors.

They’d said the night in the alley was not really in an alley, but in Henry’s house, and that it had been a consensual orgy. The abortion news also leaked into the eager ears of townsfolk. I once heard Wren’s friend, Kandi, say, “The baby probably died of embarrassment. Could you imagine? Being conceived in a mass orgy?”

But Bane didn’t care.

He screwed for a living, for God’s sake.

No wonder he was the only one here to accept me.

He said it was personal, and maybe that’s what he meant. Maybe he just hated slut-shaming so much, I was a pet project for him. The worst part was that I didn’t even care. I was still grateful for the friendship.

“All right,” I said, the words so heavy in my mouth I said them again, this time louder. “All right, let’s go.”

We walked silently to the ice cream parlor, basking in the glorious sun. Our hands almost brushed when he opened the door to the shop for me, prompting something inside me to rise like a tide then soar like a tsunami. I ordered two scoops—two more than I would have eaten any other day.