I moved closer to her, dropping my voice to a whisper. “It would be easier if they helped us.”

“No!” she hissed. “The less people who know, the better. I know I’m putting you in a bad place, but this is what you do. I’m so sorry.” Her hand found mine, still a little cold and clammy. “Please help me.”

6:00 am

My phone started buzzing.

Brooke glanced over from the passenger side of the truck. “Is that your roommates?”

I silenced it, then moved and pressed a pre-programmed message back before turning it off. “Yeah. They’ll just think I went to the gym. I have a few hours before telling them I decided to stay for a slow swim or an hour massage. It’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” She was so twitchy. The panic never left her.

I nodded. “I’m sure.”

She breathed easier and nodded, her head drooping. “Good. Thank God.”

She had told me she was running from her brother.

She had told me we needed to go somewhere with a train station.

She had told me even I couldn’t know where she’d end up.

She had told me the private detective she’d hired to find me only told her.

She had told me that same PI was killed the day before in a car accident.

She had told me that car accident, which might not have been an accident, had nothing to do with me.

She had told me all that to reassure me I was still safe.

At six-thirty that morning, I’d helped her disappear, while she’d lied to me.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Present day

Cool hands touched the inside of my wrist.

I opened my eyes, lifting my head.

Jonah sat on the side of my bed, two fingers curved around my wrist while he gazed at his watch.

The rest of the night flooded back to me.

Kai had spoken the truth. He had broken me. The thought of giving up Brooke, telling him what I knew, was too much. So I went back to my training, and what happened next would give me nightmares for a long time.

It wasn’t anything physical. It was emotional. I could see Kai, see Tanner and Jonah when they came into the room, but I was lost in the back of my mind. A different force was in charge of my body, and the only thing I could think about was not giving up my assignment.

Kai stopped pushing, but it hadn’t mattered.

For an entire night I’d sat in my room in an almost catatonic state. I was awake, but could only repeat the vow I’d taken when I became a 411 Hider.

Tanner was outraged.

Jonah was concerned, taking my vitals and watching me as if I were his patient, and Kai was quiet. At first.

Then there’d been yelling, fighting, and Jonah had shouted at both of them to get out of my room.

“What time is it?” My throat burned, as if I’d been in the desert for thirty-six hours. I could only croak, that was it.

Jonah’s head whipped up from his watch. “Holy shit.” He let go of my pulse, immediately feeling my forehead with the back of his palm. “Riley? You’re back?”

I nodded, and the movement made me want to vomit. I had a lot of that going on lately. “Yeah. It’s me. I’m back.”

“You scared us, and it’s almost seven in the morning. I’ve been monitoring you all night.”

I was grateful he didn’t interrogate me then and there. He did a full assessment, checking my breathing, pulse, blood pressure. He checked my reflexes. He even pinched my skin for hydration. At the end of it, he stepped back, his stethoscope around his neck. His hands found his hips, and he frowned. “You’re fine.”

My head felt like it was splitting open. I rubbed at it, grimacing. “Could do with a painkiller for this up here, but yeah, I’m fine otherwise.” I couldn’t say the same for my mental status.

Even I was scared about what had happened to me.

I’d heard about operatives breaking down in the field, but it’d never happened to me. And I wasn’t even sure if that was the same thing. Either way, it didn’t sit right with me. I needed to be mentally strong at all times, not breaking and letting a stranger emerge in my place. Fucking weird, that’s what it was.

“I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Of course.”

He waited to make sure I was steady on my feet. I wavered a bit as I stood, but my balance kicked in as I walked for the bathroom. I heard him gathering his bag and supplies, then the door clicking shut softly behind him a moment later.

I sagged against the door.

I did have to go to the bathroom, but I needed a moment to collect myself.

Holy. Shit.

I’d scared myself.

What happened? Was that normal? Was that going to happen again?

I didn’t want to think about it, but it was pressing on me.

My hands began to shake again, and I ran them down my legs, taking deep, calming breaths to ease out the trembling. It didn’t work, but fuck it—I never wanted to be like that again. Ever.

I was finishing up in the bathroom, washing my hands, when the main door opened again.

My bathroom door shoved open and Kai stood there, glowering at me.

“Are you okay?”

He didn’t wait. He took two steps in, his hands slid into my hair, and he cupped my head. He stood close, intimately close, his eyes peering down at me. Searching. Questioning. As if my mental whatever-it-was had betrayed him.