Annnnd I’m leaning back out. “That’s a no.”

“But look at her,” Teddy says to Melanie, like she’s going to be fighting an uphill battle. I begin to recoil inside like a big painful spring until he finishes with, “Why mess with perfection?” He holds my gaze in a way that feels like a steadying hand.

Melanie says, “I agree, of course. She’s an amazing person. But I think if she could just jack up her confidence, she’d let other people see how funny and smart she is. Cue soul mate, and me in a lilac bridesmaid’s dress.”

I stare at her. “You are getting so far ahead of yourself it’s insane.”

“But is that what you really want?” Teddy asks me and the question feels too intimate to reply. He perseveres anyway. “If it’s what you want, then I’ll help you too.”

Melanie’s pleased. “Ruthie, we’re both helping you, that’s settled. Please let me have my makeover montage. I have been dreaming of plucking your eyebrows from the moment we met.” This is said with sweet ardency.

“I tried to be cool in high school and it didn’t go so great for me. I don’t want to date someone who meets me when I’m hot from my Melanie Makeover. I want someone to actually be into … this.”

“And how do you describe ‘this’?” Melanie has her notepad again. “I didn’t get too far in the profile draft. You gave me nothing to work with.”

“A tidy girl,” I borrow Teddy’s phrase to make him laugh, but he just stares deeper into my eyes and I cannot look away. The room goes black and the flecks of gold in his eyes are my only light. My other senses heighten and I can navigate this new world purely by touch. I try again. “Buttoned-up tidy girl seeks …”

His eyes put images and thoughts into my head. Tidy girl seeks a tall messy man to press her up against things. She wants to get messed up, flat on a bed, on the edge of desks, walls, moonlit lawns. Every door unlocked, always. All she wants is skin, the satin heat of it all, a thick rope of black silk hair coiled in her palm …

A chair squeak breaks my train of thought. Teddy’s leaned forward. He wants to know my next words so badly his knuckles are white. “What?” His voice has a dare in it.

I think about what the word give means and how much I want to take.

Melanie, the creator of dramatic pauses, can equally be counted on to fill a silence. “Cute twenty-five-year-old professional seeks same.” She hesitates, eyes sparkling, then goes for it. “You must know fifteen ways to make her scream.”

Dead serious, Teddy says, “I know thirty ways.”

If Teddy Prescott came into my bedroom and showed me what he knows, it wouldn’t matter how thin our walls are or how much noise I made. He’d be the only one at Providence who’d hear me.

“I know fifty ways to hide your dead body,” Melanie scolds, tapping Teddy on the top of the head with a ruler. “Ruthie is looking for a soul mate, not a genital mate. Get that through your thick skull.”

CHAPTER NINE

On Day 2 of Teddy’s employment, he walks into the office and sets down the Kleenex box containing TJ on Melanie’s desk. She regards the box with suspicion. “Yuck. I don’t know why you want it, Teddy. Let Ruthie keep it.”

“That’s my son you’re insulting,” he returns.

“He’s looking okay, all things considered,” I remark as I watch the tiny creature munch on a dandelion. “I’ll find out when the Reptile Zoo people are coming for him.”

“I have an invitation for you. It’s got terms and conditions, of course, but don’t worry. The strings are only attached to me.” He reaches under his butt and unearths a warm envelope with my name on it. “Why is everyone waiting for me to quit, by the way? This job isn’t that hard.”

He’s got a smudge of something black on his cheekbone. There are cobwebs in his hair and his shoulders are powdered gray. He sneezes and says, “I’ve never had such an easy job.”

“Why are you so dirty?” Melanie asks him as I open the envelope.

“They made me go up a ladder to tidy the attic.”

I look up. “The town houses don’t have attics.”

“Well, duh, that would be too easy. I just pretended the crawl space was an attic full of antiques and dead bodies. They laughed their asses off. I had a power nap on a big cushion of insulation.” He grins at the memory. “I’m going to dream about ghosts tonight.”

I give the invitation my full attention. It is a square card with a border inked dense with vines and roses. I bet he did it in an absent-minded couple of minutes. He wears his talent like a dirty five-dollar T-shirt.

“This is pretty enough to be a wedding invitation,” I tell him. He shrugs like it’s nothing but his eyes flare bright with pleasure. “Maybe you could help us with the Christmas party decorations.”

I read the invitation out loud because Melanie is almost hurting herself craning to see. “Ruthie Midona is formally invited to an all-expenses paid fancy lunch and afternoon of goofing off with the Parlonis, Friday at 12 noon. RVSP yes verbally, immediately, to T. Prescott.” Melanie releases an anguished howl. Her name was nowhere in those words. I’m not that overjoyed myself. I put it aside. “Okay, so it’s not really an invitation. It’s a summons.”

“Not exactly,” Teddy tries, but he’s unsure of what the afternoon has in store. I’ve known the Parloni sisters for years.

“It’s fancy jury duty. I’m going to have to sit on a white couch in a boutique and watch Renata try on outfits with Aggie asleep on my shoulder. I’ve got work to do tomorrow.”

“I should tell you that declining isn’t really an option,” Teddy says apologetically. “Renata said I’ll have to carry you to the car if you say no.”

Mel says to him, “Seriously? I’m not invited too? I’ll carry you if it means I get out of this place.”

“I need you to babysit TJ,” Teddy tells her in his special persuasion voice. “I don’t trust anyone but you.” She colors up, pleased and honored. I probably have a face like a toad. He refocuses those charming eyes on me. “Might be fun though, right? Fancy lunch? Just think about it. I’m sorry, Mel, I’m just the messenger.”

While she abuses him, I sit and think. It takes me a really long time to get my foot off Providence soil some days. I know that’s not exactly normal. And to be in a car that I’m not driving— no control, no way of coming back immediately if I’m needed? I feel like I need to go sit somewhere and take a few deep breaths.

“Trust me, it’ll be okay,” Teddy says, gathering up his Kleenex box. He holds it so carefully. “I’m gonna be with you. I’ll hold your hand the whole time.”

And I find myself saying in a doubtful tone, “Okay.”

ON FRIDAY MORNING, Teddy arrives at the office, unsure of what to do. The Parlonis gifted him with a gold watch for his hours of faithful service. (Apparently Aggie called their “watch guy” who personally couriered it over. Oh, to be that wealthy.)

“I tried to make them return it. Is this even allowed?” He holds the box to me and I see what the issue is. A Parloni Checkmate: It is engraved on the back. Unreturnable. Unpawnable.