I could hear him ditch his jeans and shirt. Use my bathroom. Slide in under the throw. Muthafucker.

Making himself at home like he was the one who owned this place. I angrily rolled over, and then back again, over and over, tossing and turning as I fumed. All the while fighting the hot burn of tears that were choking me. I would not give him the satisfaction. I’d already cried too many tears over that asshole; he deserved no more.

Eventually, I must have fallen asleep, somewhere mid-angry memory, and the next thing, I was locked in my nightmare world. Everything was gray-scale, the only color the splash of red whenever blood spattered across the scene. My hands trembled as I held a gun, and this time, the one in the chair was Beck. He watched me without expression, his eyes locked on mine like I was the only thing in the world he would ever see.

Like I was the last thing in the world he would ever see.

“I trust you, Butterfly,” he said, and I sobbed loudly, tears blurring my eyes. “Pull the trigger.”

“No,” dream me screamed. “No, Beck. I can’t.”

He showed no fear, and it felt like my hands lost all feeling, as I no longer had control over them. Just like a puppet being controlled by the puppeteer, I lost the ability to stop the tragedy from unfolding. My finger squeezed down on the trigger, and I screamed out loud, but it was the same as always. The same as the half a dozen times I’d had this dream since I’d killed the Huntley operative. The crack of the bullet, the heat from the gun, the recoil as my hand jerked, and the thud as the bullet pierced Beck’s skull, wiping the light from his eyes.

I screamed and cried and thrashed as I fought against my puppetmaster.

“Butterfly!”

The soft voice started to penetrate my pain, and I slowed my fight, even though hot tears still seeped out from under my closed eyes.

“Butterfly, please. You need to wake up now, because you’re killing me. I will fucking destroy your new place, because if my anger doesn’t go somewhere...”

“Beck?” I whispered hoarsely, the fact that it was only a dream finally registering. My heart still pounded like it had been real, but the warmth of the man wrapped around me, brought me back to reality much faster than usual.

I pried my eyes open to find Beck’s face mere inches from mine as he held me against his chest. In those first few moments of being awake, I was frantic, my hands running over his face, confirming that I hadn’t blown it to pieces with a perfectly placed head shot.

Beck just held me and didn’t even ask what the hell I was doing.

Eventually I realized it had been a dream, and I remembered that I was angry with him, and I removed my hands from his skin, and swallowed roughly.

“I’m fine,” I said, hoping he would let me go. “It was just a nightmare.”

Beck didn’t take my hint. His body remained flush against mine, and I was having a hard time remembering why the fuck I’d kicked him out of my life in the first place.

Dante. Betrayal. You killed a fucking man and that’s why you’re having these nightmares!

Some timely reminders was all it took, I was back to being furious, thrusting myself away from him, and almost tumbling to the floor.

“What are you doing in my bed?” I demanded, letting my anger and fear flow out of me. “Who the fuck do you think you are? Touching me without my permission. Fuck you, Beck.”

He looked confused for about a second as he stared up at me, and then suddenly he was the angry one, off the bed and stalking around to my side.

“Who the fuck do I think I am?” he bit out, his tone soft, but the fury behind it very clear. “I’m the one comforting your ass when you cry out in your sleep. I’m the one who didn’t just throw a fucking glass of water on you and tell you to shut up.”

I wanted to scream. “I’m only having nightmares because of you! You did this to me!” I slapped my hand on my chest, trying desperately not to cry. I would not give him the satisfaction.

I pointed toward the couch. “Get out. Please. And don’t come back unless I’m being murdered.”

His eyes were glittering jewels in the half-light, watching me with the sort of intensity all predators carried. I expected he would argue with me, but he didn’t. Maybe he noticed that I was hanging onto my sanity by a thread, or maybe he’d had enough of my shit for the night as well, because he just stalked his big body off to the couch, and I crawled back into bed.

By the time I woke the next morning, thankfully without any more nightmares, he was gone. I did my best not to think about last night, about how it felt to have his arms around me again, about the nightmare which would just not leave me alone, no matter how much I wanted it to. I was associating the killing and Beck, and somehow the two formed that horrible scenario.

One more thing to be mad at him for.

“You look like shit,” Eddy said when she pulled up in front of my building.

“Feel like it too,” I mumbled, so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. “Had a nightmare last night.” Two if you counted Beck breaking in and refusing to leave. “And I didn’t get much sleep.”

She nodded and started to drive, her eyes darting around almost frantically. “Everything okay?” I asked, wondering why she was acting so suspect.

“Did you hear about the threat?” she asked, flying through an intersection without even looking for another car.

I nodded. “Yeah, I heard. Someone delivered a death threat.”

She jerked her head toward me, eyes wide. “Why the fuck don’t you look more worried?”

I shrugged. “I mean, I’m not happy about it or anything, but I really don’t see what the big deal is. Delta have death threats issued to their members all the time. This one’s for me; it had to eventually be my turn.”

Eddy cursed as she sped into the school, slamming her car to a halt near the front door. “Yeah, but the difference is that you’re unprotected. I mean, Dad said they had security on your apartment, but you’re not in the compound. I don’t like it, Riles.”

“There is security on my condo?” I asked, pissed off I wasn’t consulted. It really shouldn’t have surprised me at this point. I probably should phone Richard at least once a week and get all the news off him. I still felt like my bio-dad was an ally I wasn’t utilizing.

Eddy opened her door and jumped out. “Well, yeah, that’s what Dad said anyway. He said Beck was dealing with it and he had security on you.”