My voice broke, and I tried my hardest to get it together, but I couldn’t seem to. “My parents were ripped out of my world in an instant. A split second, some black ice, and I was an orphan. Alone. Even having Dante in my life couldn’t come close to healing the hole that left in my soul, but you four … you made me feel like I had a family again.”

I broke off, my head falling forward as tears dripped onto my clenched hands. “I’m not sure I can let you all back in like that again. I won’t survive losing you a second time.”

I could practically feel Beck vibrating at my side. Dylan was doing the same, and when I looked up, Evan and Jasper were wearing twin expressions of devastation. Until this point I wasn’t sure any of them quite understood how much they had hurt me. How far they had broken me with their actions.

But … it seemed they might finally understand.

“We don’t deserve your forgiveness,” Dylan said softly, his voice rough. “There was nothing we could have done to stop you from having to cater to Delta’s fucked up world, but we could have prepared you. We could have stood at your side instead of on the opposite side. That is on us.”

Beck nodded. “I thought I was protecting you,” he said, his voice a wash of dark emotions. “That if you went in blind you wouldn’t do anything to raise Delta’s suspicions. You wouldn’t do anything to get yourself hurt.”

I had to look at him, I couldn’t help myself. His eyes were boring into mine

“I never for a second thought you would assume we’d deliberately lured you into our world. I thought you would trust in us. That you’d know we were doing everything we could to protect you, while not raising our parents’ suspicions.”

I’d hurt Beck as well, that much was clear as he sat there, looking a little broken, too.

“Dante was not the smartest move,” I told him softly, my tears finally drying up. “My anger over that ... it clouded my judgement.”

Fire flared in Beck’s gaze, and I was confused for a beat as I tried to figure out what had triggered that. “Dante was the best choice,” he said coldly. “Not only is he aware of this world and the mess of rules we have to follow, he was the one guaranteed to make you act fast and not fuck around. Our parents are insane, and they would have hurt you to get their own way.”

Aware of this world. Did Beck mean simply because I was part of Delta and had shared some things with my best friend. Or because he was a bit of a fan of their company and its rise to power? Or maybe even a slight reference to the Grims and his place there?

Or was there something else…?

“You know you’re one of us, Riley,” Evan said seriously, that more subdued side that he hid so well in public, appearing again. “It doesn’t matter what you do, or say, or how many ways you fuck up. You’re always one of us.”

“Unconditional,” Beck added. “Our bond is unconditional.”

The four of them reached out to me, almost like they were sealing that statement with one huge handshake. I hesitated, but only for a heartbeat. Unconditional was pretty rare in life, and if they were offering me that, then I could meet them all halfway.

“Unconditional,” I murmured, my hand joining theirs. My eyes met Beck’s. “We still need to talk,” I told him, and he nodded, looking more relaxed than I’d seen him in a long time.

After that I managed to eat and drink my coffee, the mug lovingly packed back in the box Beck had brought with him. “I know we could get them for every house,” Dylan said, as he wrapped each one gently, “but then it kind of loses that special touch.”

I snorted. “You’re all a bunch of softies underneath, aren’t you?”

Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “Only around you, Riles.”

He stared down at me for a beat longer than was necessary in this situation, and I recalled the stunned way he’s acted after I’d ambushed him with a kiss last night. I was just about to ask him if everything was okay with us, when we were interrupted by Evan.

“Car’s ready,” he said as he passed by. “Bomb squad has been over it, and the area is secure. We can head on down.”

I jerked back, watching his broad shoulders as they disappeared down the hall. “Did he just say bomb squad?”

Dylan laughed. “Yeah, we haven’t managed to ditch the security team when we’re in New York. Too many of our competitors here for us to be complacent.”

I must have looked nervous, because he wrapped an arm around me. “Don’t stress. I’ll double check it myself.”

“What?” I gasped. “You can detect bombs too?”

Was there any fucking thing that Dylan couldn’t do?

He shrugged. “Yeah, I’ve had training in it. Wouldn’t call myself an expert, but I don’t risk my friends without double checking things myself.”

Apparently Beck had the same training, because he joined Dylan as they walked the perimeter of our car. Checking it over. Poking and prodding some shit. “I want all of you to stand back until it’s started,” Beck said, waving us toward the elevators.

“Fuck no,” I said, stepping close to him. “We’re all in this together, dude, and I’m not moving.”

He shook his head. “Stubborn like the rest of them.”

Jasper chuckled. “Beck always tries to pull the ‘I’ll start the dangerous car while you all wait in safety’ move. It hasn’t worked yet.”

Beck nailed Jasper with a glare. “Figured you fuckers might be more cautious now that we have Riley, but apparently not.”

“You’re not blowing yourself up and leaving us to deal with Delta alone,” Dylan said. He didn’t sound like he was joking.

Beck didn’t argue, he just swung around and climbed into the back, letting Jasper take his place behind the wheel. I ended up in the middle again, and sinking back between the guys, I held my breath as the car started. When there was no explosion, Jasper shifted it into reverse, and we left the parking lot.

It felt different in the car today, less tense, more of a companionable silence. My little speech this morning had knocked all of us around, and while it was definitely more emotional than we were most of the time, all of us had needed it. Step one to healing.

When we got outside of New York, Jasper cranked the music, and I spent the rest of the trip screaming old school Eminem songs, rap battling it out with Jasper, who knew every single fucking word to every song.