Raize took his bag and the guns he’d put on the other bed, the one closer to the bathroom. “Sleep here.” He put everything on the end of the bed I was currently lying on. “I’ll do watch until Jake gets back.”

I was not going to argue with that. My head was now bobbing since I’d given myself permission to let the exhaustion seep in. It came hard and fast.

I lay down, my shoes on, fully dressed. I could be asleep within seconds, and I yawned. Still, if we had to run, I wanted to be ready. I skipped the blanket and turned to lie on my side.

I watched Raize for a beat.

I’d never seen anyone like him.

He was lean, but he had broad shoulders. He moved around without moving around, if that made sense. He had a pretty face. Tan skin. Dark eyes. His hair was left alone. It was brown and he let it be. It wasn’t long or anything, but it wasn’t a crew cut. He was rough without not being rough at all. I knew he had tattoos, some on his arm, I saw one on his back one time, but nothing on his neck or face. He kept them where they could be hidden. And his body, it was lean and cut. Right now, shadows cast down over his forehead and his cheekbones, giving him this whole dark angel look.

I suppressed a shiver and turned away. What was going on with me?

He settled at the table by the window, moving the curtain so he could see outside.

“What are we doing here?”

He looked over, a flicker in his eyes.

Normally, I would never ask. Raize always provided information as needed. But my gut told me this was a whole different ballgame.

There was a moment of quiet before he said, “The Russians want to set up a business relationship down here. We were sent to set up that connection.”

I frowned. “Here? Who runs San Antonio?”

“Not here. We’re leaving once we’ve all gotten sleep.”

“Where?” I pressed.

“The Valley. Carloni wants us to work with the Estrada Cartel.”

He stared at me. I stared back.

Cartel.

That was a whole different ball game.

Those words hung between us, because we both knew what that meant.

I started this journey to find my sister.

There were a lot of details about the who, the why, the where, etc., but it’s why I was standing in this motel room staring at this guy.

Jesus.

There’d been many times that I wished I had never started this journey. But never once had I considered giving up the search for my sister. But today, right now, hearing where our path was taking us, I thought about letting her go.

Maybe it was time.

She’d made her decision so long ago, but…

Not yet.

I rolled over, curled into a ball, and fell asleep.

I was going to need the rest.

8

Carrie

We were parked outside a gas station. Me and Jake. I was in the front with the door open, my feet up on the dashboard. We were waiting for Raize and Cavers to return from inside.

It was almost eleven in the morning.

We only had another hour to go. The drive hadn’t been long, but Raize said we needed to stop, so we did.

Jake climbed back behind the wheel with his food. He handed me a bag and put his coffee in the drink holder. He handed over the second for me.

“I added some of the sugary shit for you.”

I took it, surprised at the gesture. “Thank you.”

I hadn’t thought about getting anything. I went in, went to the bathroom, washed up, and came back out. I hadn’t needed to get the keys from Jake. Raize had sent Jake to make extra copies while I was sleeping. We each got a set of keys to both vehicles, and once Jake had slept enough to drive, we were off.

“So?” he asked as he looked my way.

I sipped my coffee, grimacing at its heat and his question. “I haven’t asked.”

His eyes shifted to my bag, where he knew my gun was. When we’d taken everything out to the vehicles, Raize had added a gun to my bag. “That is yours now,” he’d told me. “You will need it.”

Jake shook his head. “Girl.”

I grinned. I’d grown attached to being called Girl. “It’s Carrie now.”

He huffed, rolling his eyes. “I don’t get this, whatever you’re doing.”

“What am I doing?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I don’t get it. What are you doing? He gave you a gun. Does he know you don’t know how to use it?”

I took another sip. It was still hot. “He knows.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“I still can’t teach you unless you ask him or he gives me the order. You know that. What’s this weird resistance from you?”

I sighed, putting my feet down and sitting up in my seat. I rested my head against the backrest. “It’s just another milestone I don’t want to cross yet.”

“Milestone?”

“Yeah. You know, in this world, it’s all a slippery slope. Me learning how to shoot a gun is the milestone before I actually use the gun.” My stomach clenched, knowing what was on the other side of that milestone.

Understanding flared in his eyes. “Look, you’re never gonna be the girl he sends out to kill someone. When it comes to it, the boss is going to do his own dirty work. That's how he got his come-up anyway, but you need to learn. When it’s you or the guy who’s trying to kill you, the other guy has to go. And you ain’t dumb. You know that.”

I knew that. Of course I did, but it was another step toward losing my soul, too.

I frowned. “His come-up?”

He reached for his bag, taking out a sandwich and unwrapping it. “You know.”

I shook my head. “I don’t.”

“That’s how he got in the business. He’s from the cartel.” He kept watching me, and seeing my confusion, his lips pressed together. “You didn’t know?”

I shook my head. Raize came from the cartel? What did that mean?

I felt like it meant something... Cartels were a whole other level of vicious.

Wow. The cartel. In our business, they were avoided. The Russians were bad, but the cartel was different. They didn’t just kill you. They went after your family. They went after anyone you loved, and they did their research.

I was doubly glad no one knew my real name.

I’d been Brooke when I started down this path. There had been a few other names before Raize started calling me Girl. Now I was Carrie.

“He was the guy they sent in to take someone out. The dude’s good at killing people.”

I suppressed a shiver. “How’d he get out?”

“I don’t know. There were rumors he got out because his boss was indebted to him. Others say he was sold like you were to Carloni. I think the only one who really knows is him.” Jake side-eyed me. “He might tell you. He likes you.”

I jerked in surprise. “What?”

He nodded. “He’s got a soft spot for you. Don’t know why. I don’t think he wants to fuck you. Maybe you remind him of someone?”

That was weirdly unsettling.

We both stopped talking.

Jake ate his food, and I sipped my coffee as we waited for Cavers and Raize to show.