He moved back to stroking his dick, sliding up and down. He was getting hard again.

I knew what was next.

Was I ready? Was that what I wanted?

If I said no, Raize wouldn’t do it. I knew him by now, knew he wasn’t like that. But then I felt his lips on my throat, my chest, lower... He moved between my breasts, and my word, that felt good.

But this was wrong. This guy, he was all wrong.

I shouldn’t be feeling any of this.

He epitomized the people who’d taken my sister. But even saying those words to myself, I couldn’t bring up the resistance I should’ve been feeling.

It was now or never.

This wasn’t about sex. This was about me moving forward toward being ready to kill. I couldn’t find or avenge my sister if I wasn’t ready to kill someone. I had to be honest with myself from now on.

I had to stop hiding.

Fucking Raize—I wanted to do that. I’d been wanting to for a while.

“Ash?” He had paused, his lips lingering over my clit. He was ready for me.

Desire lit me. I felt my whole body come alive, and I arched my back once more. “Yes” left me on a sigh, and he sat up and then slid inside.

I was gone. This was done.

The old me was dead.

This was the new me. This was the me from now on.

I could finally avenge my sister.

But first, I put my arms around Raize’s shoulders and pulled him close. I wrapped my legs around his waist and met him thrust for thrust. I took what I needed from him, damn the consequences.

There were no pretty words or loving touches when we were done. Thank God for that.

Raize rested on top of me for a moment before he pulled out and grabbed some napkins from the gas station bag. He wiped himself off, then handed some to me.

He tucked himself back in, zipped his jeans while I put myself back together as well.

“There’s sanitizer in there.”

Okay. You had to do what you had to do in these moments. I washed between my thighs as much as I could handle.

Jesus.

Raize and I had fucked, and it was good. He was good. More than good.

I swallowed over a knot, because I knew I’d want to do that again. He’d just awakened a whole different appetite. I liked his cock. I liked how he used it.

He sighed, reading something on his phone before typing a response and putting it back in his pocket. He reached forward, starting the truck. He backed up and turned back down the road.

“We have three guys coming down,” he informed me.

And we were back to work.

I pushed my back into the seat, lifting my hips and adjusting my jeans. “When?”

“Tonight. I want you to pick them up, take them to a motel, and set them up.”

“You don’t want Cavers to know about them?” That meant his boss wasn’t sharing with Carloni, and he’d told Raize as much. That was interesting.

“You’ll be driving this truck. Get ’em in their rooms and hand off the keys. I’ll swing by and pick you up. They’ll know what to get for what we’ll be doing.”

“You know these guys?”

“I’ve worked with them before, yes.”

“And if Cavers or Jake asks me what I was doing?”

He glanced over. “They ask you that shit?”

My tongue felt heavy. “Sometimes. I tell them it’s none of their business.”

He scowled. “They shouldn’t be asking you that shit. They know better.”

“They’re male.”

His scowl morphed into a frown. “What does that mean?”

“That means they think they’re above me, that they have the right to ask me when they wouldn’t ask you. It’s a guy thing. It’s like man-splaining, but man-questioning.”

He turned back to the road, shaking his head. “Don’t say shit to them. Direct them to me if they want to know.”

“They won’t ask you.”

“That’s the point, Ash.”

Ash. There was my fake name again.

Ash. I was Ash. I’d asked to be Ash.

I needed to adopt this name.

I refocused. “What are we doing until they get here?”

He gave me a slight grin. “We’re going to scope out Oscar’s buildings and figure out the best way to use those cakes.”

Oh, goody. I’d cross something off my list soon.

A flare of want rushed through me, but I stuffed that right back down. It was wrong to get off on the thought of blowing up a building.

Wasn’t it?

18

Ash

The guys Raize flew in were scary. Then again, Raize was scary. Remember? When had I stopped thinking he was scary?

I considered that. He was still scary. I just didn’t think he’d be as quick to off me as I used to.

As the three guys walked out of the airport, I wondered how they were going to fit in the truck. When they saw the truck, they angled my way. They tossed their bags in the back, and two of the guys—with stony faces and black shades—climbed in behind them. The least scary one, the one that smiled, got into the cab with me.

They looked military, which made me wonder if Raize had been military at some point. He might’ve gone the mercenary route, and I was assuming that’s what these guys were?

I had no idea. I didn’t want to know.

“Hi.” One in the cab gave me a nod. “Raize said you’d set us up?”

I nodded. “I got you guys two motel rooms.”

“Cool.” He settled back, leaning his head against the headrest, and his deep breathing a moment later told me he’d fallen asleep.

The two in the back watched the traffic as we drove.

In some places it was against the law to let humans ride in an open truck bed. But well, when would that stop us? I drove like I normally would, assuming they knew how to brace themselves if I had to brake suddenly.

We got to the motel with no problem, and they exited the truck without a word. They took the room keys from me, and I waited for them to get situated.

Raize’s orders had been to let them do what they were doing, then they’d come out and we’d switch places. I’d go into the room and watch it while they took the truck to do whatever else they needed to do. I’d sit tight until Raize came to get me, or until I was told otherwise.

Twenty minutes later, the guys left, and I sat in one of the rooms. They had closed the connecting door and left all their bags in that room. They did not want me to see what they had in there, and that was fine with me.

My phone buzzed an hour into waiting.

Jake: I’m bored following Cavers around today. Tell me a joke.

A joke? I didn’t have a sense of humor.

Me: No.

Jake: Why not?

I sat up in my chair. This was uncomfortable. Still, I texted back.

Me: Tell yourself a joke.

Jake: See? That was funny.

Me: I’m not funny.

Jake: You are sometimes. You don’t mean to be.

I had no idea what that meant.

Me: You’re making me uncomfortable.

Jake: I wouldn’t want that. What’d you and Raize do earlier?

I frowned, typing back.

Me: I told you. He took me to shoot a gun.