Cavers took us from one road to another, slowing, then speeding up. He was keeping to the darker side streets—fewer cameras, less lighting.

I couldn’t say how long the drive was. It felt too fast, and it felt like it was days.

Once we hit gravel, exhaustion crept over me, and one last thought flashed in my mind:

I never used my gun.

“What’s your name, sweetie?”

I shook my head, shoving that memory away.

42

Raize

We stopped at a wooded lot, and right away, Cavers and Jake grabbed all the phones and wallets. They took the cash out, everything else went into a pile. A healthy dose of lighter fluid was added, and everything lit up.

Jake came back to the truck and grabbed one of the bags we’d pre-packed. He took the bag and dropped to the ground. Both he and Cavers stripped their clothes, reached in and put on the new ones.

Ash came over, still watching the guys. “Why are they doing that with the phones and wallets?”

“We took everything that could identify them to give us time.”

She rocked back on her heels, her hands in her sweatshirt’s front pocket. “Oh.”

I looked over at Bronski, then her. I had to make a decision.

Jake paused, seeing where I was looking.

Catching the look, I nodded in Ash’s direction. He moved his head from side to side in response, and there was that.

Going to the front of the truck, I grabbed duct tape and zip ties. Then I opened the tailgate, grabbed Bronski by the feet, and dragged him toward me. I looped the zip ties around his ankles, crisscrossing them and doing six more loops. He could cut it off, but it would take him a long time.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

I stopped, turning to her. “No bullshit?”

She raised an eyebrow, but nodded. “No bullshit.”

“I grabbed him for you, but Jake told me you never once used your gun.”

Her head reared back. “When’d you have this conversation?”

“Just now.”

“Oh.”

I did not want to do this. Not one bit. “Look,” I began.

She focused back on me.

“I jammed the phones so they couldn’t get any calls out. We have a few hours before their guys start wondering where their bosses are. The dealer will have a concussion, and he should be out for a while, too. I told Jake to make sure.”

Her mouth flattened. “I know. I saw.”

I could tell she hadn’t liked that.

Tough shit.

“That was one side of our targets. I have five more men to take care of, and we need to do it fast. They can’t know we’re coming. You got me?”

A shared memory flashed between us, as I was using her own words.

A light flared in her eyes, but she stifled it right away. Her head moved down, just an inch. “I got it.”

“I don’t want to take you with me. I’m leaving you and Jake here, so what you do is up to you. You can let Jake kill him, you can kill him, or you can wait and I’ll do it. Either way, he’s gotta go. This is important, Ash.”

Her head jerked back up, and her chin tightened. “I know. Just because I don’t enjoy the killing doesn’t mean I don’t know it’s sometimes necessary. I got it.” She gritted her teeth as she spoke.

Fuck. I wanted to take her in my arms, take back all the bad shit I’d done, all the bad shit she’d been a part of, all the bad memories of everything in her life. That would mean a different life, a different Ash, but fuck. She didn’t deserve this life.

She didn’t deserve to taste death all around her.

But I couldn’t do any of that, so I had to grit my teeth right along with her and push forward. We had another job to handle, and then I needed to start thinking about what would come after.

“You think he might know anything about my sister?” she asked.

I studied her a beat. Her words were soft, contemplative.

“He might, but he also might realize he could use that to bargain, stall for time. Don’t give anything away about her. He’s a conman.”

“I know.”

Jake and Cavers came back, fully reclothed, and cleaned up.

Jake handed the bag off to me. “Your turn, boss.”

I nodded.

I motioned to Bronski, and both of them knew what I wanted done.

It felt nice, not having to speak when I gave orders now. This new unit had some benefits.

As they got to work, I carefully took Ash by the hand. I didn’t know if she’d let me touch her, but her hand grasped mine, and she went with me.

I pulled her farther into the woods, away from their sight.

I waited to see what she’d do, but she only stood in front of me.

Not knowing what to do, but wanting to do something, I reached for her.

My movements were tender and slow as I gathered up her hair, moving it aside as I lifted her shirt up and off of her. She watched as I did it, not helping, but not stopping me.

Her bra came off next.

Then I reached for her pants, unbuckled them, and they dropped.

She stepped out of them.

I took her underwear off next and held my hand there, pressing lightly against her clit.

Her eyes closed, and she leaned into me, inhaling at my touch.

I wanted to make her feel better, but this wasn’t the time or the place.

Still... I leaned down, my mouth finding hers, and she gasped as she surged up on her tiptoes, pressing into me. She opened her mouth, and I slid my tongue in, claiming her. While we kissed, I felt her reaching for my clothes. She undressed me, pants first, boxer briefs. Then she began raising my shirt, her hands skimming over my stomach and chest. I broke the kiss as she pulled the shirt the rest of the way off.

I waited to see if she wanted me to kiss her again.

When her eyes opened, I saw the hunger there.

I reached for her, unable to stop myself now.

My mouth sealed over hers, and she grabbed me, pulling me close, and I pressed her against a tree. Her legs came around me—Jesus.

This wasn’t the time, but I groaned, pressing my mouth against her neck.

She grinded against me. “Please,” she gasped.

I’d answered before I even knew I was answering. This was the power she had over me. It was heady, intoxicating—and alarming.

But I thrust inside of her, and fuuuuuck.

This needed to be fast.

Her legs tightened around my waist, and as I began pumping into her, I reached for her clit and rubbed there.

We were silent, but our movements were frenzied.

It was quick, though I held off, waiting until she climaxed. As soon as she did, I unloaded into her and stilled, holding her as our bodies quaked.

I bent down, my forehead resting on her shoulder.

She ran her hand up and down my back, gently, as tenderly as I had undressed her. She pressed a soft kiss to the side of my neck.

I looked up, my eyes meeting hers.

I didn’t know what I was looking for. Was I making sure she was okay? Looking to see if she condemned me? Hated me? Still needed me? My head was a mess when it came to her, but I couldn’t leave her. Though I should.

I should walk away from her.

I should send her off, make her live a new life, a normal life.