This is so wrong.

But it was happening, and he was unable to fight it. Unable to resist the hunger that had been building all these weeks. Already their mouths were joined, their bodies moving against each other. He didn’t remember how their clothes came off. Her naked body was a sculpted work of beauty—tight and athletic, long and firm. He didn’t remember who led whom to the bed, but suddenly there they were, and he was on top of her, thrusting between her thighs as she gave tiny yelps of pleasure.

And then it was over, and they lay side by side, saying not a word.

She turned to kiss him, and he felt the wetness on her face, the heat of her cheeks. She took his hand and kissed his palm as well. “That was wonderful,” she whispered. “That was everything I dreamed it would be.”

He didn’t answer. He simply lay beside her in silence, thinking that he had just lost something precious. And he would never get it back.

CHAPTER 22

TARYN

He lay beside her, silent and still, but by the pattern of his breathing, she knew that he was awake. She wanted him to wrap her in his arms. She wanted him to say all the things lovers should say after they had feasted so joyously on each other’s bodies, but he did not say a word, and she could guess why.

He was thinking about his wife. About how everything had changed because they’d just made love.

She reached for his hand. He didn’t pull away, but neither did he squeeze hers. His hand lay rigid in her grasp, and she could feel the tension coursing through him. That was how she knew he had never before strayed from his wife, and it made what had just happened between them all the more significant. She was his first.

“You’re feeling guilty. Aren’t you?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

He turned to look at her. “How can I not feel guilty? I shouldn’t have let this happen. I can’t believe I—”

“Jack.” Gently she stroked his face. “You’re feeling guilty only because you’re a good man.”

“A good man?” He shook his head. “A good man would have resisted temptation.”

“Is that all I am to you? Temptation?”

“No. No, Taryn.” He touched her face, cupped her cheek in his hand. “That’s not what I’m saying at all. You’re beautiful and brilliant and everything any man would want. And you should be with someone who’s better for you than I am.”

“You’re the one I want.”

“I’m twenty years older than you.”

“And twenty years wiser than any boy my age. All these years, the only one I cared about was Liam. I thought he was the best there was, the best I would ever find. Now I realize how shallow he is, how shallow most boys are. You made the difference. You showed me what I’ve been missing.”

He sighed. “This was a mistake.”

“For me? Or for you?” She couldn’t hide the edge in her voice, the unmistakable note of anger, and when he frowned, she knew she was on the verge of losing him. At once she smiled and reached out for his hand. She pressed it against her face. “Even if it was a mistake, it’s one I’ll never regret. Not for as long as I live. Because I’m in love with you.”

“Taryn . . .”

“Don’t say anything. You don’t have to tell me you love me. You don’t have to pretend I’m what you want.”

“My God, you’re every man’s dream.”

“I only want to be your dream.”

They stared at each other, drinking in each other’s gazes. She knew he was tormented by guilt. A good man would be, and that was why she was willing to be patient and give him time to see how much she meant to him, how much better she was for him than his wife. She’d let him go home to her. Let him lie in bed beside that wife and think of her, long for her instead.

“I don’t want any man but you. I know you think I’m too young for you, but I’m old enough to know who I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

“There’s not just you and me to think of. There’s also . . .”

“Your wife.”

At those two words, his hand went as still as a corpse’s. “Yes,” he whispered.

She pulled away from him and sat up on the side of the bed. “I understand. I really do. But I need you to know that for me, this isn’t just a onetime thing. This is much, much more. I could make you so happy.”

He didn’t respond. The silence stretched on, and she wondered if he was afraid to admit the truth even to himself. Afraid to reveal how much he wanted her, needed her.

“Look, just think about who you want in your bed and in your life,” she said. “I can wait, Jack. I can wait as long as it takes for you to make up your mind.”

She took her time buttoning her blouse, zipping up her pants. As she got dressed, he watched her in silence. Even as she walked out the door, he said nothing. It was better that way. Let him regret not saying all the words he should have said.

That night, in her own hotel room, Taryn slept more soundly than she had in weeks.

The next morning, when she came down to breakfast, she found him sitting alone in a booth, a plate of scarcely touched ham and eggs in front of him. He looked terrible, his eyes bloodshot, his skin gray. While he looked haggard, she felt at her freshest and most radiant. She slid onto the bench facing him, and he gazed at her with such hunger it was all she could do not to smile.

“Good morning,” she said quietly.

He nodded. “Good morning.”

“Everything I said last night is still true.”

He looked down at his coffee cup. “Let’s not talk about it.”

“Okay.” She could be casual. She could be breezy. Let him see how mature she was about this.

The waitress approached with a coffeepot, and Taryn smiled at her. “Two fried eggs over easy and hash browns, please.”

“Coming right up.”

As Taryn waited for her order, Jack picked half-heartedly at the food on his plate, which by now had to be cold. She thought of the long drive home in a car with this silent man, and she was determined not to let him associate her with despair. No, she must be the light in his life, the woman he turned to not just for sex but also for love and laughter and joy. “I can’t wait to get back to work on my project,” she said. “This conference has been such an inspiration.”

“Has it?”

“It’s opened a new world for me, and I’ve got a dozen different ideas spinning in my head for other papers after this one.”

He couldn’t help smiling at her enthusiasm. “That’s how I felt when I started grad school.”

“Like you won’t live long enough to get all your ideas down on paper.”

“Yes.”

“Do you still feel that way?”

He shrugged, a gesture of weariness and defeat. “Life gets complicated. Responsibilities. Obligations.”

She leaned toward him and placed her hand on his. “You shouldn’t let them suck out the joy in what you do. I won’t let that happen to me.”

“I hope it doesn’t. I hope you stay as passionate as you are now. In fact, I wish I could steal some of that passion from you.”

“You don’t have to steal it, Jack. You just have to find your own again. And I can help you—”

“Jack Dorian! How nice to see you again. It seems like forever since our last conference together.”

Taryn looked up to see a woman with silver-streaked black hair. She recognized her as one of the presenters at the conference. Her name tag said Dr. Greenwald, Univ. of CT. The woman glanced down at the table, where Taryn’s hand was still touching Jack’s, and her smile faded to a look of consternation.

Taryn pulled her hand away.

Jack went pale but still managed to greet Dr. Greenwald with a stiff, “Hello, Hannah. I don’t think I’ve seen you since, uh, Philly.”

“Right. It was the Philly conference.” She looked at Taryn, studying her as closely as if she were the subject of her next paper.

“This is Taryn Moore,” Jack said. “I’m advising her on her senior project.”

“So . . . she’s your student.”

“Yes, I am,” Taryn cut in brightly. “Professor Dorian’s been giving me great advice, as he does all his students.”

“What’s your project?” Dr. Greenwald asked.

“It’s a paper that explores the theme of romantic betrayal in classical epics. He’s introduced me to other scholars and pointed me to all sorts of relevant resources.”

“I see.”

But what did she see? Taryn wondered. That Jack’s face had stiffened to a stony mask? That he was staying in the same hotel with a student half his age?

“I’ll be interested in reading that paper,” said Dr. Greenwald. She gave a brisk nod to Jack. “Hope to see you at another conference. And say hello to Maggie for me.”

As Dr. Greenwald walked away, Taryn studied Jack’s face. Just the mention of his wife had made his lips snap taut. He knew how this looked, and so did she.

Abruptly he slid out of the booth and tossed some cash on the table. “That should be enough to cover us both. I have to go pack, and you should too. I just got an alert there’s a snowstorm headed our way, and we need to get going before the roads get nasty.”

“Aren’t you going to finish your breakfast?”