Letting my hands rest in my lap, I stare at them. “I never wanted to give up my life. I was just…trapped.”

“Trapped,” he repeats in that infuriating way he uses to get on my nerves.

“Yes, Adrian. Trapped. As in, with no way out. But you wouldn’t know what that term means, not when everything you want magically comes true.”

“Believe me, there’s no magic involved. I forged my way through, and while I didn’t give a fuck about who got destroyed in the process, I didn’t walk all over you. I didn’t step on you and continue my path as if you were nothing.”

I glance up at him, at the menacingly beautiful face and merciless gray eyes. “Do you really believe that? Do you honestly think you didn’t walk all over me?”

“Yes. If I had, you wouldn’t be sitting in front of me right now.”

“Then should I be thankful that I didn’t end up like Winter?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“That’s what you mean.”

“That’s what you want me to mean, Lia. Don’t project your misconceptions on me.”

I release a long breath in a last-ditch attempt to calm my nerves. As if feeling my distress, Adrian strokes my shoulder. “Don’t compare yourself to anyone else, is that understood?”

“You say that as if you weren’t fooled by Winter.”

“I wasn’t. One look into her eyes and I figured out she wasn’t you.”

“That simple?”

“That simple.”

I don’t know why that rips a small sigh out of me. The fact that he could’ve replaced me with her ate me alive back then. “Does that mean you wouldn’t have…you know…”

“Fucked her?”

My cheeks heat as I stare at my hands and nod once.

“What do you think?”

“You have a crazy sex drive…so…it could happen.” The words burn in my throat on their way out.

“Having a crazy sex drive doesn’t mean I’d stick it anywhere, Lenochka.”

My head snaps up until I’m once again trapped in his stormy eyes. “No?”

“No. You’re not just my wife, the mother of my son, and completely and utterly mine, but you’re also the only woman I’ve wanted since the first time you begged me to fuck you when you were drunk.”

“Back then…I wanted you…”

“Since when?”

“Since the first time I saw you.”

“I thought you were scared of me.”

“I was, but it didn’t stop me from wanting you.”

“Hmm. You’re a masochist.”

“Shut up. You made me a masochist.”

“I couldn’t have made you into one if the traits weren’t there from the get-go. I only nurtured them a little, maybe whipped them into submission at some point.”

“Perverted sadist,” I mutter under my breath.

“I never denied that.”

“When did you learn that you…prefer it rough and twisted?”

“Early on. Around my late teens.”

“Do you think your upbringing had something to do with it?”

“Probably.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why should you be? If it weren’t for my upbringing, we wouldn’t have been compatible, Lenochka.”

“I disagree.”

“Is that so?”

I stand up, forcing him to release me as I wrap my arms around his waist. “I think we’re the most compatible we could ever be.”

“What gave you that idea?”

“First of all, we gave birth to the most beautiful angel alive and no one but us could be Jeremy’s parents. Second, you know my body better than I ever would and…you saved me from myself. Not to mention, you didn’t mistake me for another woman. You get extra points for that.”

“Extra points, huh?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Do I get to use them tonight?”

I grin. “Absolutely.”

Adrian lifts me in his arms and I squeal as I snuggle into his hold. In my utter delight, I catch a glimpse of Winter’s open eyes glaring at me.

I blink once, but her eyes are closed.

Holy shit.

As Adrian carries me out of her room, my nails dig into his shoulder as I keep staring at her, expecting her to open her eyes.

She doesn’t.

But I’m sure I saw them open a second ago.

Or was it a hallucination?

13

Lia

“You didn’t have to come with us,” I say as we walk through the mall.

I want to buy a few things because I realized just how boring my old wardrobe is. I also want to get Jeremy a new coat in preparation for our small family vacation.

Adrian said he’d take care of it, so I have no clue where we’re going. That doesn’t stop me from being excited about our first getaway as a family, though.

It took six years, but it’s finally happening.

After learning about the scrutiny my husband is under, I want him to step away from work for a while to clear his head. He doesn’t agree, but he’ll eventually change his mind.

When I told him about wanting to go shopping, he insisted on coming too. Kolya and Boris follow us, and even though they’re keeping a short distance, we’re drawing attention wherever we go.

Jeremy seems oblivious to all of it as he trots between us, one hand in his father’s and the other in mine. It’s strange how my little angel is lively and bright despite being born in such a dark world.

And it’s that light that’s kept me going.

Adrian tilts his head to the side. “I’m not allowed to come along?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“Then what?”

I narrow my eyes at him slightly. I’m well aware he doesn’t trust me and probably thinks I’ll meet Luca as I did a week ago. But I guess, even if he started to believe me, he wouldn’t give me free rein this soon.

I puff out a breath. “Don’t you have work?”

“Not today, no.” He strokes Jeremy’s hand. “Aren’t you happy I came along, Malysh?”

“Yes, Papa!”

Adrian’s attention slides back to me. “See?”

So now it’s his turn to use Jeremy against me. It’s not that I don’t want him with us, it’s his reason for joining that sits wrong with me.

He’s keeping an eye on my every move because he doesn’t trust me.

Ever since I divulged Luca’s name, he’s been asking me all sorts of questions about him. His last name, family details, and everything in between. Surprisingly, I didn’t have any trouble answering those. However, I couldn’t tell him about the other part. The ‘I agreed to spy on you for Luca’ part.

We’re barely getting out of a sensitive phase and falling into some sort of understanding. I can’t just ruin it.

Adrian kisses and hugs me again. He doesn’t look at me like he wants to hate-fuck me, then throw me away.

And I want to hold onto what we have for as long as I can. But Yan is right—I’ll tell him all about it.