“No…that’s not what I meant…”

“If I hadn’t found out, would you have taken your secret to the grave or would you have rekindled your relationship with Luca and come after me again?”

“No, never! I…I wanted to tell you all about it but couldn’t muster the courage. You…you can be so scary sometimes and I didn’t want us to lose what we have.”

“Well, congratulations. We already did.”

My heart falls to the bottom of my stomach. The room spins around, and although I’m sitting, it feels as if I will fall in a heap on the ground. “W-what?”

“Get dressed.”

“Why?”

“Get fucking dressed.”

I jerk to a standing position, letting the covers fall to the floor as I head to the closet. My hands are clammy, shaking, and tears won’t stop escaping my lids, blurring my vision and rolling down my cheeks and neck.

Due to my state, it takes me some time to put on my underwear and a black wool dress.

My husband watches my every move with his cold expression. I want to ask him what he meant by his words, I want to beg for another chance, but the fear of his cold shoulder and rejection keeps my quivering lips shut.

As soon as I put on my coat, he grabs me by the arm and drags me out of the room and down the stairs. I’m unable to keep up with his long strides and end up stumbling and nearly falling a couple of times.

“Adrian…” My voice cracks. “Whatever it is you’re planning to do, don’t… Please…don’t…”

He yanks the front door open and I grit my teeth when the freezing air hits me and saturates to my bones.

The sky is gloomy, nearly invisible as heavy snow falls and blurs the horizon.

I’m still begging and pleading while Adrian drags me in the direction of the forest. Our feet form holes in the thick layers of snow as we go on and on until the house disappears from view.

“Adrian…Adrian…”

He yanks me in front of him and I stumble before falling on my knees, face-first into the snow. I lift my head to stare at his closed off expression.

“Sergei found out that I killed Richard and he will demand retribution for such betrayal.” His voice is more frigid than the merciless snowstorm.

“You…you…don’t mean…”

“There’s only one punishment for traitors, Lia.” He retrieves his gun from the back of his pants. “Death.”

21

Lia

Six years.

It took six years for me to find myself in this position again.

I stare at the muzzle of the gun. And not just any gun—Adrian’s.

He’s not pointing it at me. At the moment, it’s in his hand by his side, but I know exactly what’s coming.

What he plans to do.

My lips part, allowing my salty tears to seep into my mouth, but I’m not crying because of death. I was ready for that the day my career ended, and I only stayed alive due to Adrian and the gift he gave me in the form of Jeremy.

The reason why I can’t stop the flow of tears or the pain that’s splitting my chest in half is because of the hurt on his beautiful face, taking refuge in his hypnotizing eyes. The fact that he thinks I betrayed him or that I would ever wish him harm.

“I trusted you, Lia, even more than I trusted myself. You were the light I wasn’t allowed to have and I did everything I could to protect it and not let it burn out. You were the only purity I saw in the world and I did my hardest not to tarnish it. In my own fucked-up way, I wanted to preserve you, to go against my nature and keep you, but I should’ve known it was only a pipe dream.”

“You did. You protected me, you…gave me a reason to live after I thought everything was over. I always called you a monster, but it took forgetting you to realize you’re the monster I need. So…please…please give me another chance. Give us another chance, for Jeremy, for our family. I…don’t care if you punish me for an eternity as long as you’re with me. Please…”

Snow sticks to his shoulders and dark hair as he stares down at me with lips twisted in what seems like pain. “I can’t.”

“Adrian…”

He grabs me by the arm, hauling me to my feet and slamming the front of my body against his. His lips find my parted ones and I sob against them as he devours me, his tongue plunging inside to feast on everything I have to offer and then some.

My husband kisses me with a desperation that matches mine and passion that awakens my own. He robs me of thoughts until he’s the only thing present, as if I’m existing for him, for the way he kisses me like it’s his first and last.

I choke on my tears, fingers digging into his shirt when his arm wraps around my waist. He lifts me off the ground so that I’m suspended except for his hold on me.

He throws the gun away and flings me against a tree trunk while his tongue is still hooked around mine, swirling and devouring. He uses his other hand to pull my dress and coat up.

A sting of cold hits my bare skin and I hiss, but my fingers move of their own accord, undoing his pants with an urgency I’ve never experienced before.

I want him with a desperation that leaves me breathless.

I need to have him, to not lose him, and if that has to happen only through sex, then so be it.

My lips never leave his while I free his hard cock and guide him to my aching core. My legs wrap around his waist in a steel embrace as he slides my panties to the side and drives inside me in one savage go.

I gasp in his mouth, kissing him with renewed energy, my arms hugging his neck and gripping the short hairs at his nape. He powers into me, one hand gripping the tree behind my back for balance and the other cupping my jaw, tilting my head up so he can kiss me deeper, confiscating more of my breaths.

My back slides up and down the harsh surface of the tree as he powers into me with deep, raw thrusts that match the merciless strokes of his tongue.

Scorching heat flows in my veins despite the freezing weather, the snow, and the white that nearly buries us. I’m anchored in the moment, in life, by Adrian’s strong, protective hold.

The thought of losing him fills me with a void so large, I hear its echo in my aching chest. I hold on to him tighter, kiss him faster while my tears burn my skin and soaks his.

We come together, my orgasm detonating inside me with chilling force as his cum warms my core.

He pulls back from my mouth, and I release his lips with a low whimper. At least he was with me while fucking me, but now, he’s not.

Now, we have to touch the ground after levitating.

I hug his neck tighter, burying my face into his skin and inhaling his woodsy scent into my lungs.

He pulls out of me, forcing me to release my legs from around his waist as he smooths my dress and coat down. His strong palm lands on my hip to keep me steady since I’m currently dangling from his neck, my feet not touching the ground.

“Let me go, Lia.” The order is quiet, not as firm as usual.

I furiously shake my head against his neck.

“You’ll freeze to death.”

“I don’t care. Freezing to death is better than whatever you’re planning.”

“Look at me.”