He was right. I didn’t want my hair to catch on fire or anything.

On the other hand, I didn’t want to get chicken blood on my dress. I mean, it was an expensive one. Ninety-five dollars at Urban Outfitters.

Then I thought, Suze, what is wrong with you? It’s just a dress. You’re doing this for Jesse. Isn’t he worth more than ninety-five dollars?

So I started to lie down.

But I had only managed to get down on one knee when there was a terrific thumping on the door to the suite.

I’ll admit it. I panicked. I figured it was the fire department or somebody responding to to a report of smoke from someone whose bathroom vent adjoined Jack’s.

“Quick,” I hissed at him. “Blow out all the candles!”

While Jack hurried to do as I said, I stumbled to the door.

“Who is it?” I called sweetly when I got there.

“Susannah,” an all-too-familiar voice said. “Open the door this instant.”

chapter

fourteen

If you ask me, Father D. way overreacted.

I mean, first of all, I had the situation completely under control.

And second, it wasn’t as if we’d sacrificed any small animals, or whatever. I mean, the chicken had already been dead.

So all that stomping around and calling us names was really unnecessary.

Not that he called Jack any names. No, most of the names were hurled at me. Apparently, if I am intent on destroying myself, that is one thing. But to force a small boy to aid in my self-destruction? That is just despicable.

And my pointing out that the small boy was the one who’d created the need for me to behave self-destructively? Yeah, that didn’t go over too well.

But what the whole thing did do was illustrate to Father Dominic just how serious I was about my plan. I guess it finally got through to him that I was going to do my best to find Jesse, with or without his help.

So he decided that, under those circumstances, he had better help, if only to improve my chances of not hurting myself, or anybody else.

“It will not,” he said, looking all tight-lipped about it as he unlocked the doors to the basilica, “be any fly-by-night operation either. None of this Brazilian voodoo business. We are going to perform a decent Christian exorcism, or none at all.”

Really, if you think about it, I probably have the most bizarre conversations of anyone on the planet. Seriously. I mean, a decent Christian exorcism?

But it isn’t just the conversations I have that are bizarre. I mean, the circumstances under which I have them are pretty bizarre, too. For instance, I was having this one in a dark empty church. Dark because it was after midnight, and empty for the same reason.

“And you are going to have adult supervision,” Father Dominic went on as he ushered me inside. “How you could have expected that boy to successfully perform so complicated a procedure, I simply cannot imagine…. ”

He had been ranting in that particular vein all afternoon. All the way up until Jack’s parents—not to mention Paul—had gotten back to the suite, as a matter of fact. Father D. hadn’t, of course, been able to whisk me off right away the way he’d wanted to, because of Jack. Instead, Jack and I had been forced to clean up the mess we’d made—it is no joke sponging chicken blood out from between bathroom tiles, let me tell you—and then we’d had to sit and wait for Dr. and Mrs. Slater to return from their tennis lesson. Jack’s parents had looked a little surprised to find the three of us sitting there on the couch. I mean, think about it: a babysitter, a boy, and a priest? Talk about feeling as if you were whacked up on Scooby Snacks.

But what was I supposed to do? Father D. wouldn’t leave without me. He didn’t trust me not to try exorcising myself.

So the three of us sat there while Father D. lectured us on the fine art of mediation. He talked for two hours. I’m not kidding. Two hours. I can tell you, Jack was probably regretting ever having told me about the whole I-see-dead-people thing by the end of it. He was probably all, Uh, yeah, about the dead people? Joking, guys. I was joking….

But I don’t know, maybe it was good the little guy got the dos and don’ts. God knew I hadn’t been too lucid with my own Intro to Mediation. I mean, if I’d been a little clearer on the finer points, maybe this whole thing with Jesse would never have—

But whatever. You can only beat yourself up so much. I was fully aware the entire mess was my own fault. That’s why I was so intent on fixing it.

Oh, and the part about my being in love with the guy? Yeah, that had a little something to do with it, too.

Anyway, that’s what we were doing when Jack’s parents walked in: listening to Father D. drone on about responsibility and courtesy when dealing with the undead.

Father Dominic dried up when Dr. and Mrs. Slater, followed by Paul, came into the suite. They, in turn, stopped chatting about their dinner plans and just stood there, staring.

Paul was the one who came out of it first.

“Suze,” he said, smiling. “What a surprise. I thought you weren’t feeling well.”

“I recovered,” I said, standing up. “Dr. and Mrs. Slater, Paul, this is, um, the principal of my school, Father Dominic. He was nice enough to give me a ride over so that I could, um, visit Jack….”

“How do you do?” Father Dominic got quickly to his feet. Like I said, Father D.’s no slouch in the looks department. He cut a pretty impressive figure, all snowy-topped six feet of him. He didn’t look like the kind of guy you’d feel funny about finding in your hotel suite with your eight-yearold and his babysitter, which is saying quite a lot, you know.

When Dr. and Mrs. S heard that Father D. was affiliated with the Junipero Serra Mission, they got all chummy and started saying how they’d been on the tour, and how impressive it was and all. I guess they didn’t want him to think they were the kind of people who came to a town with a historically significant slice of Americana attached to it, and then spent the whole time they were there playing golf and downing mimosas.

While his parents and Father D. schmoozed, Paul sidled up to me and whispered, “What are you doing tonight?”

I thought about telling him the truth: “Oh, nothing. Just having my soul exorcised so I can roam around purgatory, looking for the ghost of the dead cowboy who used to live in my bedroom.”