And I wasn’t supposed to open any of those doors. Or go into the light.

Well, the second part was easy. I didn’t see any light to go toward. But how was I not supposed to open one of those doors? I mean, really. What was going on behind them? What would I find if I opened one, just a crack, and peeked in? Alternate universe? The planet Vulcan? Maybe a world where Suze Simon was a normal girl, not a mediator? Maybe one where Suze Simon was homecoming queen and the most popular person in the whole school, and Jesse wasn’t a ghost and could actually take her to dances and had his own car and didn’t live in her bedroom?

Then I stopped wondering what was behind all those doors. That’s because coming down the hallway toward me—as if he’d just materialized there from out of nowhere—came Jesse.

He looked pretty surprised to see me. I don’t know if it was the fact that I was standing there in what was, I suppose, heaven’s waiting room, or if it was the attractive length of cord around my waist, which did not, I have to admit, go with the rest of my outfit.

Whatever it was, he looked pretty shocked.

“Oh,” I said, reaching up to make sure my bangs were covering my unsightly bruise. “Hi.”

Jesse froze in his tracks and just stared at me. It was like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He didn’t look any different from the last time I’d seen him. I mean, the last time I’d seen his ghost. The last time I’d seen him, of course, it had been a view of his rotten corpse, and the sight had, of course, made me lose my supper.

But this Jesse was a lot easier on the eyes.

Still, if I’d expected any sort of joyful reunion—a hug or, God forbid, a kiss—I was in for a disappointment. He just stood there, staring at me like I’d grown two heads since the last time we’d bumped into each other.

“Susannah,” he breathed. “What are you doing here? Are you—you’re not—”

I caught his meaning at once and went, with a nervous laugh, “Dead? Me? No, no, no. No. I just, um, I came up here because I wanted to, um, you know, see if you were all right….”

Okay, could I be any lamer? I mean, seriously. I had pictured this moment in my head a thousand times since I’d first decided I was going to come after him, and in all my fantasies, no explanations were ever necessary. Jesse just threw his arms around me and started kissing me. On the lips.

This, though. This was way awkward. I wished I’d prepared a speech.

“Um,” I said. What I really wished was that I could stop saying um. “See, the thing is, I wanted to make sure you were here because you wanted to be. Because if you don’t want to be, well, Father Dom and I thought maybe it would be possible for you to come back. To, um, finish whatever it is, you know, that was keeping you down there. In my world, I mean. Our world,” I corrected myself, quickly, remembering Father Dominic’s warning. “Our world, I mean.”

Jesse continued to just stare at me.

“Susannah,” he said. His voice sounded weird. I figured out why a second later, when he asked, “Weren’t you the one who sent me here?”

I gaped at him. “What? What are you talking about?”

Now I knew what was so weird about his voice. It was filled with hurt. “Didn’t you,” he asked, “have me exorcised?”

“Me?” My own voice rocketed up about ten octaves. “Me? Jesse, of course not. I would never do that. I mean, you know I would never do something like that. That kid Jack did it. Your girlfriend Maria made him do it. She was trying to get rid of you. She told Jack you were bothering me, and he didn’t know any better, so he exorcised you, and then Felix Diego threw me off the porch roof, and Jesse, they found your body, I mean your bones, and I saw them and I threw up all over the side of the house, and Spike really misses you and I was just thinking, you know, if you wanted to come back, you could, because that’s why I’ve got this rope, so we can find our way back.”

I was babbling. I have a tendency to do this even when I am not standing in purgatory. But I couldn’t help myself. Everything was just kind of spilling out. Well, not everything. I mean, I totally wasn’t going to tell him why I wanted him to come back. I wasn’t going to mention the L word or anything. And not even because of Father D.’s warning, either.

“That is,” I went on, “if you want to come back. I could see why you’d want to stay here. I mean, after a hundred and fifty years and all, it’s probably a relief. I imagine they’ll be moving you along soon, and you’ll be getting a new life, or going up to heaven, or whatever. But I was just thinking, you know, it wasn’t fair of Maria to do what she did to you—twice—and that if you want to come back and figure out what it was you were, you know, doing down there on earth for so long, well, I’d just give you a hand, if I could.”

I looked down at Father D.’s watch. It was easier than looking into Jesse’s face, and seeing that he still wore that inscrutable expression, as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. And hearing.

“The only thing is,” I said, “I can be separated from my body for half an hour before I wind up permanently detached, and we only have fifteen minutes left. So you have to hurry up and decide. What’s it going to be?”

Was that, I wondered, unfeminine enough for Father Dom? I was so totally not working it. No one could accuse me even of smiling. I was the picture of a professional mediator.

Only I didn’t know how long I was going to be able to maintain my businesslike persona. Especially when Jesse reached out, like he did just then, and laid a hand on my arm.

“Susannah,” he said, and now his voice wasn’t filled with hurt at all, but something that, if I wasn’t mistaken, sounded a lot like anger. “Are you saying you died for me?”

“Um,” I said, wondering if it would count as using my feminine wiles if he was the one who touched me. “Well, not technically. Yet. But if we hang around here much longer—”

The hand on my arm tightened. “Let’s go,” he said.

I wasn’t sure he really understood the situation. “Jesse,” I said. “I can find my own way back, okay? I’m like this with the gatekeeper.” I held up crossed fingers. “If you want to come with me because you want to go back, that’s fine, but if you just want to walk me back to my hole, believe me, I can get there on my own.”