That girl KNEW I was about to kiss her, Martin!

She avoided me for the rest of the night, and then wouldn’t talk to me on the ride back to school in her car Sunday morning. Just cranked up the music like I wasn’t even there.

THEN, when we got to the dorms, and I reached for the car door handle, she goes, “So congrats again on winning the tournament.” (Like she didn’t just win it with me?) “Working with you has been a real pleasure, and I know you’ll do great at Yale. See you around, Justyce!”

It took me a minute to get the hint and exit because I was trying to figure out the identity of this alien cyborg and what the hell it did with my debate partner/good friend/girl-I-really-wanted-to-kiss named SJ.

As soon as I grabbed my stuff and shut the door, she drove off. Just like that.

I was ready to go against my mama for this girl, Martin!

I don’t know what happened. I thought things were going well! I swear since Manny called me out for not being like you, SJ and I have been tighter than ever. The chemistry was off the charts…I know I didn’t read the signals wrong, did I?

I have no idea what to do now. I can’t eat. Can barely sleep. Can’t stay focused…Everywhere I turn, there’s a reminder of this girl. Can’t pass a brunette without doing a double take. Manny’s been on this Carrie Underwood kick, which is what SJ liked to play in the background when we were working on debate stuff at her house. I even went to sleep at home last night thinking being around my mama would help, but when I got there, she was watchin’ Judge Judy! (SJ swears she and Judge Judy are related.)

I guess I should let it go, right? I can’t force her to talk to me if she doesn’t want to…

It makes me feel wack as hell, but in my mind I keep seeing the shrinking taillights of her car as she drove away.

Whatever. I give up.

Gonna try to sleep again now.

—J

But Justyce doesn’t sleep. Not that night, nor the rest of the week.

And it’s not just SJ.

A couple of mornings after she gives him the cold shoulder, he and the rest of the nation learn that Tavarrius Jenkins, a sixteen-year-old black kid shot by police while trying to help an older white woman in a Lexus, has died from his injuries.

On Friday after school, Jus walks into Doc’s classroom wanting to talk about it and finds he’s been beat to the punch: SJ’s in there crying her eyes out. As much as he wants to turn on his heel and jet, he can’t seem to move.

Seeing her there—even as a friend—broken the way she is makes Justyce feel as helpless as he did the night he got arrested. Based on the way she’s scowling at him, Jus can’t help but wonder if he’s partially to blame for her tears.

But how could he be? Didn’t she turn her back on him?

After they’ve stared each other down for forever, it feels, she wipes her face, grabs her stuff, and heads to the door. When Doc calls after her and she doesn’t respond before breezing out, he turns to Justyce. “What’s that all about?”

“Oh, you don’t know?” Justyce says, ready to turn and leave himself. He drops down into a desk instead.

Doc crosses his arms and furrows his eyebrows. “Can’t say I do, Jus.”

“That’s too bad, then,” Justyce says, looking Doc right in the eye. “I was hoping you could tell me.”

Needless to say, Jus doesn’t feel like talking anymore. As soon as he thinks enough time has passed for SJ to get off campus, he says goodbye to a stupefied Doc and heads to his dorm room.

He’s just managed to doze off when there’s a knock at his door, snatching him back into consciousness.

“Who is it?”

“Open the door, fool.”

Manny.

Jus forces himself out of bed and to the door. “What, dawg?” he says as he opens it.

“Hey, bruh, chill with all that attitude.” Manny pushes past him and into the room, bringing his post–basketball practice BO with him. “You sleepin’ or somethin?”

“Obviously not if I’m standin’ here talking to your stank ass. You need a shower.”

“Shut up. It’s Friday night and we got places to be. Put some clothes on and let’s go.”

Jus returns to the bed. “Sorry, dawg. I don’t really feel like goin’ nowhere tonight.”

“That wasn’t a request, Jus. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how mopey you been this week. Being alone in your current state isn’t good for your mental health, man. Blake’s birthday party is tonight, and you’re coming with me.”

“No. I’m not.”

“All right, then.” Manny pulls Jus’s desk chair over to the bed and sits down. “You wanna stay in bed? Cool. My dirty ass will be right here with you.”

“Aww, come on, Manny! Get outta here with that.” Jus pulls a pillow over his nose.

Manny kicks his shoes off and tucks his hands behind his head, unleashing the full force of his funk into the room. He smirks.

Jus really can’t stand this guy sometimes.

He takes a deep breath…which is a bad idea. “Damn, you stink, dawg. Fine, I’ll go.”

“Great!” Manny hops up. “I’ma go get my car from the lot. I’ll meet you downstairs in ten.”

“Yeah, all right.”

“You won’t regret it, man.” Manny walks out and leaves the door open.

—

Justyce really isn’t in the best headspace to be accepting the “pregame beverage” that gets shoved into his hand once they get to Manny’s basement. He’d never say it aloud, but Jus would much rather be at SJ’s watching National Geographic than here waiting for Manny to get ready. Just thinking about her is making him crazy. Before he knows it, his cup is empty and he’s reaching for the flask Manny left on the ottoman.

“Dawg, you cryin’?” Manny says when he finally emerges from his room smelling like he bathed in Armani Code.

“Naw, bruh, I’m good.” Jus wipes his face on his sleeve. “Got something in my eye.”

Manny sits down. “All this about SJ?”

“Huh?”

“I heard what happened at the tournament.”

He can’t be serious. “What’d you hear?”

“That you tried to kiss her and she cold-shouldered your ass.”

Jus shakes his head. “How could you possibly have heard that?”

“Small school.” Manny shrugs. “People talk.”

Jus doesn’t reply.

“You were in love with her, huh? Heart’s all broken and shit?”

“Whoa now, dawg. Slow down with all that.”

“Jus, you’re sittin’ here crying abou—”

“I’m not cryin’, Manny.”

“Whatever, fool.” Manny slouches down and stares up at the ceiling. “That’s gotta be love.”

For a minute, they sit in silence, Manny doing whatever he’s doing and Jus trying to keep images of SJ out of his head. He switches gears to the other thing on his mind: “You hear about Tavarrius Jenkins?”

“The kid who got shot in Florida, right?”

“Yeah. He died yesterday.”