I cleared my throat. “I brought flowers.”

Loretta eyed them up and down. “Yes,” she muttered. “It seems you did.”

“That’s nice,” Samuel remarked. “Thank you, Jackson.”

Loretta turned toward her husband and grumbled as she moved past him. “This is a huge mistake,” she whined before walking away.

Samuel looked at me and smiled. “We’re glad to have you here, Jackson. I’m very sorry to hear about your father.”

I still didn’t reply, but when he held his hand out toward me, I shook it.

As we walked into the house, my eyes fell to a painting on the foyer wall, and my gut tightened.

I was almost certain that this home was the last place I was supposed to be.

The dinner was odd for me. When everyone sat at the table and they all began to pray, I wasn’t certain what to do, so I studied the clock hanging on the wall. How long did it take one to pray? And if prayers were real, did you have to do it for a certain amount of time?

I felt unease throughout the whole meal, but the saving grace of it all was Judy, and her husband, Hank. They seemed so much like Grace that it made it a bit easier to breathe. They seemed like genuinely good people.

“Mama, aren’t you going to do the tour of the property with Jackson?” Grace asked. Then she turned to me. “She always shows the guests around the property. This place is her pride and joy.”

She shot Grace a dirty look. “No. I’m going to do these dishes.”

Judy laughed. “Since when do you do dishes, Mama?”

Loretta scolded her daughter as she stood and started clearing items away. “Since always, Judith Rae. Now come help me, will you?”

Judy rolled her eyes toward Grace and made a face, which made me smirk. At least I wasn’t the only one Loretta drove insane.

“I’ll show him around,” Samuel said, standing up from his chair. “I was hoping to have a moment to talk to him a bit anyway.”

Grace’s face went pale. “Talk to him about what?” she asked, her nervousness evident in her expression.

“Just things between the two of us, that’s all. How about you and Hank finish clearing off the table? Come on, Jackson, let’s take a stroll.”

I knew I didn’t have a choice, not really, so I stood and followed him.

As we walked around the acres of land, Samuel began to tell me all about it. He went into the stories of the orchards, the berry bushes, and the swimming pool used for baptisms, but I cut into the conversation once we started talking about tennis courts.

“We don’t have to do this,” I told him.

“Do what?”

“The small talk.”

He grimaced and stopped his steps, knowing exactly what I was getting at. He crossed his arms and looked my way. “We’ve never really spoken in all these years, have we?” he asked.

“I never had anything to say to you,” I stated harshly, feeling my chest tighten. He didn’t flinch at my words, probably because he knew he deserved them.

“Jackson…Loretta told me you know about your mother and me.”

I tensed. “Yes.”

“I can only imagine what finding that out could’ve done to you. I’m so sorry you had to find out like that. That you had to find out at all.”

“The artwork in the foyer…does your wife know who painted it?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and shifted his glasses up. Then he shook his head. “No.”

“Does anyone know?”

“No.”

I sighed and turned his way. “She told my father. She told him how much she loved you, how much you meant to her. She never told him it was actually you who she was in love with, but that there was another man. She said all the words that killed him inside, and you hang my mother’s artwork in your home. Right in front of your wife’s face. That doesn’t seem very God-like.”

“If things had ended differently…” He paused, took a breath. “I wouldn’t have kept it a secret.”

“Well, lucky for you, you can take it to the grave. Your legacy will be left unmarked.”

“Jackson, it’s complicated.”

“It’s not. It’s just sad because my mother…” My palms began to sweat as I blinked my eyes shut. “My mother deserved to be loved out loud, and you mourned her in silence.”

He lowered his head. “I loved her like I never loved before, and I blame myself for what happened every day.”

“It wasn’t your fault, not yours alone, at least. You knew my mom was married, and you knew you were married, too, but still, you betrayed both families by creating a story that should’ve never come to life. My father spent years trying to use alcohol to heal the heartbreak she left him with. Before he even had a chance to hate her, he had to mourn her death, and now he’s fighting for his life against the demons you set free inside him.”

“I’m truly sorry about your father. I’ve been praying—”

“We don’t want your prayers,” I said bluntly. “I didn’t come here for this, for your guidance, for you or your god. Honestly, I don’t believe in either one.”

“Then why are you even here?”

“Because she asked me to come. Grace wanted me to come. I don’t believe in you or your god, but I believe in her. No one has ever stood by my side in all my life except for her, so the least I can do is stand beside her in the same fashion. This family means more than words to her, so that’s why I’m here. For her and her alone.”

He lowered his brows and guilt washed over him. “If she found out about what happened…”

“She’d never forgive you, I know, which is why she hasn’t heard a word about it from me. You’re the apple of her eye, and just because you’re my family’s demon, that doesn’t mean you can’t be her angel. I won’t ruin the image she has of you.”

“Thank you,” he said sincerely. He cleared his throat and crossed his arms. “Can I ask you something? Your father attacked the church because of what went on between your mother and me, correct?”

“Yes.”

“How did he even find out about the two of us?”

“I have no clue,” I told him. “He doesn’t talk about it.”

His brows lowered. “I cannot imagine what that did to him.”

“You don’t have to imagine. His current situation is living proof of his scars.”

He frowned. “Thank you again, for not telling Grace.”

“Yeah. It just makes me wonder… You don’t want to tell her because you don’t want her to see you in a different light, right? Because you want her to keep loving you for who she thinks you are?”

“Exactly.”

“But do you really want that? Do you want someone’s love by keeping secrets from them, or do you want their full love when they see all your flaws?”

He didn’t reply as he removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose again.

“You two look quite serious,” was heard behind me, and I cringed as I turned to see Grace standing there. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” I said. “Just guy talk.”

“You’re lying. You smile too much when you’re keeping something from me. Dad? What is it?”

“It’s nothing really,” I told her, taking her hand into mine. “But I’m going to get back to the hospital.”

“I’ll come with you,” she told me, but I shook my head.

“No. Stay here with your family for a little while. Just stop by before you leave town tonight?”

She nodded and pulled me into a hug. “Okay, but if you need anything, let me know.” As she held me, I held her tighter, and I felt it in every inch of my being.

I loved her.

I was in love with every single part of her soul.

48

Grace

“That was good,” Judy told me as we finished cleaning up the kitchen that evening. “I’m glad you brought him.”

“You think it went okay? Mama didn’t really say much.” I frowned. It still amazed me, after everything we went through, that I still craved her approval. Maybe that would never truly go away. Maybe a person always craved their parents’ love and understanding.

“Maybe her not talking was a good thing,” Judy remarked. “Maybe that meant she was taking it all in.”

“I hope so.” I truly did.

“I’ve never seen that look before,” Mama commented, walking into the kitchen and leaning against the doorframe. Her voice was so soft and low that I was almost confused if she was my mother after all. “The way that boy looked at you. The way you looked at him…” Her eyes watered over, and she wiped away a few falling tears. “I didn’t understand.”

“Mama…” I whispered, stunned to see emotion falling from her eyes. In all my life, I’d never once seen my mother cry. Not even during the darkest days.

“My stubbornness kept me from understanding. My pride got in my way, but Gracelyn Mae, the way the two of you look at one another floored me. It was as if you could truly see each other. I’ve never seen that in all my life.”

“Except for you and Dad,” Judy remarked.

Mama frowned.

Tears kept falling.

“What’s going on?” I asked, completely confused by her emotions.