So I had to guard against the hate.

Even if the holidays were coming up and it always got bad during the holidays.

Bad in the sense of these texts I was currently getting from my sister, because she (and Mom and Dad) always thought holidays were the perfect time to win me around to their way of thinking.

Or, to be blunt (and honest), indoctrinate me and Juno into their way of life.

A way of life I’d turned my back on years ago.

You had to hand it to them, they never gave up.

But that was a stretch for a silver lining because it was also a not-great thing that they never gave up.

And it couldn’t be denied, I hated it (rephrase: disliked it intensely) when they put my sister forward to appeal to me in a sisterly/generation-sharing way.

Making this worse, I had to divide my time with my daughter, giving some of it up to her father which was never fun, but especially unfun during the holidays.

In a perfect world, my baby would be with me all the time.

In a perfectly perfect world, my baby’s daddy would not be a liar and a cheater, and we’d all be together all the time.

It was not a perfect world.

This year, I sensed it was going to be even worse because her dad had a(nother) new woman in his life, and from what I was getting, she was all in to win Corbin by showing she could be the best stepmom in Denver.

That happened a lot (the new woman and her wanting to win Corbin by using Juno) and it always involved messing with Juno’s heart. And then, when Corbin dumped her (and he would eventually dump her), part of Juno’s heart would go with her.

It hurt my baby girl.

It hurt to watch.

It also hurt because I was powerless to do anything about it.

In the beginning, I’d tried to talk to Corbin and warn him about introducing his girlfriends to his daughter too soon.

He not only didn’t want to hear me give him advice on how to father, he didn’t want to hear from me at all.

Though, even if he didn’t want to hear from me, he spent a lot of time making sure I heard from him on a variety of subjects that had to do with co-parenting (and other topics).

This regardless that Juno was eight and for the most part, we had it down (and topping that, he never listened to me and did his own thing anyway—it was like he was going for maximum frustration, and as usual with Corbin, exceeding all expectations).

And I didn’t need any of this right now.

It was career day for Juno’s class and Juno loved me. She thought I could do anything. As such, she did not get that her mom—who had been a stripper, but was now a featured dancer at a former strip club (even so, you could absolutely still describe what we did as exotic dancing, we just no longer bared all)—was not the person teachers wanted talking to their kids about their future career prospects.

But Juno thought I was cool.

Juno thought I hung the moon and that my besties, Lottie, Ryn, Hattie and Evie were the stars (all of them also dancers, except Evie, who used to be one, but now she was a student).

So Juno didn’t hesitate to ask me to come and chat with her class.

I had a little presentation to give. It was a lot about the choreography, costumes, lighting, music choices and working with the stage technicians, and less about how I found new and interesting ways to take off most of my clothes (obviously).

But I was nervous.

I could dance while disrobing with a crowd watching, but standing in front of them and talking to them?

Nope.

Making matters worse, they were having career days all semester, one each Tuesday. The kids invited parents or other folks in their lives to come in and chat with the class. Thus, I knew she’d asked her dad to come that day too, and as referenced earlier, he and I did not get along.

Juno was probably trying to see to my feelings and instead of telling me her father was going to be there, she’d warned me “someone else is coming.”

It was a little weird she didn’t just say, “Dad’s coming to bore everyone with anecdotes about being a baller real estate agent.”

But sometimes she got a little weird when her dad had a new woman in his life.

Therefore, during these times, I had to let her be how she needed to be, even if that was weird.

Then be prepared to pick up the pieces after.

This was what was on my mind after I got past checking in at the front office and was walking down the hall toward Juno’s classroom.

But even if my headspace was taken up with all of that, when I turned the corner to the hallway where Juno’s classroom was, nothing would have made me miss the astonishing and totally unforeseen fact that Augustus “Auggie” Hero—hot guy, ex-military, current-commando, member of my immediate posse, man I was supposed to be dating since Lottie tried to fix us up months ago, man I’d broken down and had wall sex with not long ago and then ended that episode very badly—that Auggie Hero was holding up the wall beside the door to Juno’s classroom with his broad shoulders.

But his head was turned, and his black eyes were on me.

Now there …

Embodied in that man …

Was a true perfect world.

But I felt my heart start racing and that had nothing to do with the fact he was gorgeous.

What was he doing here?

God, God, God.

It was important to repeat that he was a current commando.

A commando who, for unknown reasons, was loitering in the hallway of an elementary school.

Was … ?

God!

Was there some threat to Juno?

I rushed to him, my high heels echoing against the tile in the quiet hall, and I didn’t hesitate to grab onto his forearm that was crossed on his chest and lean in close so I could say low, “Is everything okay?”

He stared down at me.

Then he tipped his chin and looked at my fingers curled around his forearm.

He looked back at me when I squeezed his sinewy flesh and snapped, “Auggie! Is something wrong? Is Juno unsafe?”

At my question, his face changed.

In my panic, I hadn’t really registered his expression before, but now it couldn’t be missed that it was hyper alert.

I was already hyper alert but I did not take it as a good sign he’d gone hyper alert even if it wasn’t a surprise, considering all that had been swirling around the Dream Team for nearly a year.

That Dream Team being Evie, Ryn, Hattie, Lottie …and me.

The Dream Team’s men being (in order to the women) Mag, Boone, Axl, Mo …and as mentioned, Auggie was supposed to be (however was not) mine.