But it highlighted his chest.

His awesome chest.

Focus!

I launched in.

“First, I’m sorry to wake you up. But Brett brought me here after work so I wouldn’t chicken out when you didn’t text me, and as an excuse for the inexcusable rudeness of waking you up, I was probably totally going to find some reason to chicken out. So I’m sorry, truly, but it was now or maybe not ever.”

“I do not care even a little bit that you woke me up,” he stated firmly.

Oh my.

My.

That was nice.

And Brett was right.

Moving on.

“And that’s not my way of saying I’m upset you didn’t text me. I get it.”

“I’m not sure you do since the only reason I didn’t was that I had a busy day, and I wasn’t able to get to your texts for a while. When I did, I could tell you were concerned, so it fucked with me I didn’t have a minute to text you to let you know I was cool. I didn’t get home until an hour ago, and didn’t think, after you danced, a late-night texting was gonna help us work through our shit. I was gonna connect with you first thing tomorrow. Which, strictly speaking, we’re doing, since tomorrow is now.”

Oh, well then.

That was nice too.

No, actually awesome.

And was I a freak to feel kind of warm and squishy at the words “help us work through our shit”?

I mean he thought we had shit!

I couldn’t get bogged down in that.

Onward ho!

“Okay, so, taking us back to where this all started, I can only hope you’d understand how embarrassing it was for you and Ryn to see me how I was that day in the dance studio. I think you understand I like you, and I wanted you to like me, and acting like a lunatic because I messed up a dance isn’t going to make you like me.”

He took his hands from his hips, looked like he was going to make a move toward me, and opened his mouth.

“No,” I said quickly, shaking my head. “We’re in the scary, soul-baring part so you don’t get to talk. I’ll open up discussion when I’m done. Now you need to listen.”

When I said the bit about “the scary, soul-baring part” his face took on an expression I had to ignore for my peace of mind and my will to go on without skipping this part and jumping him and his bare chest.

Then he crossed his arms on that chest and settled in.

Not much better.

Perseverance in the face of his gorgeousness, clearly, was going to be the key.

I called on that and carried on.

“So, I got embarrassed about that, and I can imagine you get that. What you don’t know is, that’s the first time I’ve danced, not stripping, in maybe three years.”

“Jesus,” he whispered.

I allowed that since it was a reaction and not an interruption. “And it felt really good, until it didn’t, and then you guys saw me, but it just brought to the fore the fact that I quit dancing not because I didn’t like it. I do. I love it. But because it came with messed-up memories and those were surfacing too. Around about the time I was dancing in that room I forgot to do it just because I loved doing it, and it felt amazing, then I did a minor screwup that meant nothing at all. But my dad got in my head. And I wasn’t angry at myself for messing up so much as angry at myself for still letting him mess me up.”

“Okay, baby,” he said softly.

Oh hell.

I hadn’t told him he couldn’t interject, softly or other, much less call me baby.

All of which was really nice.

I cleared my throat.

“So, to wit,” I started, Axl’s lips quirked, that was hot, and annoying because it was hot since it was messing with my mojo to get this done, but I kept on, “that was where I was at with that and I just let it get the better of me.”

“Understandable,” he said.

Okay.

Good.

Phew.

Next!

“And I get that it may not be cool I danced ‘Shut Up’ for you when I was closing you out and you have a girlfriend—”

“I don’t have a girlfriend.”

Okay …

Um …

Oh my God.

My brain did mental cartwheels.

Then it hit me.

“A woman you’re seeing,” I amended to dude speak.

He shook his head. “No. We broke it off the day you messed up in that studio.”

Oh.

My.

God.

“Uh …” I forced out.

“We’re still friends and we hang, though,” he said.

“Oh, okay,” I mumbled.

“You think I’d kiss you like I did this morning if I had a girlfriend?” he asked.

“I didn’t know. But Brett said no.”

“For once, that guy is right,” he muttered.

“Though, you told me yourself you were seeing someone.”

“At that time, I still was, even though I intended to end it with her. That said, I told you that so you wouldn’t feel pressure and might feel safe connecting with me. Then, when I got you to that place, I was gonna move us forward.”

Hmm.

“Are you done talking so we can open up discussion now?” he asked, sounding amused.

The amused part didn’t make me happy, seeing as this wasn’t super easy on me.

Even so, we kinda already were discussing since I was letting him talk.

Nevertheless, I squinted my eyes at him and snapped, “No.”

“Right,” he murmured, now visibly fighting a smile.

Grr.

Onward!

“So, obviously, I had something to say with my ‘Shut Up’ dance that I wanted you to hear but I thought you had a girlfriend and I also was still messed up myself. So maybe I shouldn’t have said it when I wasn’t giving you the opportunity to react to it, but I had to do it and so I did. And I’m sorry if that wasn’t the right thing to do or if that seemed like I was jacking you around. I can assure you, that was one hundred percent not my intent.”

He said nothing.

But when I said nothing either, he said, “Is it discussion time now?”

“No,” I answered.

This time, he dipped his ear toward his shoulder and twisted his neck to hide his outright smile.

Really?

“I’m not finding anything amusing,” I informed him. “This isn’t super easy.”