Perfect and convenient.

“Hard to tell,” I finally answered. “I can’t remember answering any of the questions.”

“That’s okay. I know you did because I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you.”

“Hmmm… Was it really me or were you just trying to take a peek at my answers?” I joked as we left the classroom.

“Can you blame me? Not only are you beautiful, but you’re smarter than me, too.”

Once we reached the parking lot, I swung around to face him, planting my hand on his chest. “Flattery will get you everything.”

He leaned in to whisper against my lips, “I’m counting on it.” I let his lips press against mine and although I felt none of the searing intensity that I was introduced to at a much more tender age, I enjoyed it.

And why shouldn’t I? He was sexy as hell.

He just wasn’t the one I craved.

Don’t take yourself down that dark path, Sheldon.

“Oh, no you don’t.” It was hard to tell whom the warning was really for, but I jumped away, disguising the uneasiness I felt with a playful grin and tilt of my lips. “I have to get home, stud.” After snagging my backpack from his shoulder, I started for my car, needing to put distance between us.

“Any chance I might finally get that invite?”

Shit.

“You know I can’t do that.”

“All I know is what you tell me, and that isn’t much. Please, Shelly—”

“Don’t.” When his frown deepened, I added, “I asked you not to call me that.”

I didn’t miss the confusion in his eyes before he continued. “If I can’t come home with you, will you at least tell me why you insist on remaining such a mystery?”

“If I told you, then you wouldn’t be half as interested in me as you are now.” I lowered my sunglasses, checked my watch, and practically ran to get to my car.

I was late.

I fought through seven miles of traffic. The short distance took me twenty minutes due to everyone rushing home. There was a forecast for a thunderstorm tonight. Summer storms always proved to be the fiercest so I could understand the slight panic.

When I finally reached my destination, I hopped out of my car and rushed over the sidewalk to the entrance where the manager was closing the door for the night.

“Cindy, I am so sorry.”

“Sheldon, I told you to take all the time you needed.” She turned from locking the door with a wide smile gracing her lips. “So how did it go?”

“I’m not sure...”

I picked up my little dark haired bundle who pouted and said, “Mommy late,” before kissing me on the cheek. It was a move she made when she was upset with me but still wanted attention that reminded me so much of her father. I nibbled on her chubby cheeks, and once she was preoccupied playing with my hair, I turned back to the daycare manager.

“You’re not sure?” She cocked her hip and rolled her eyes. Cindy was like the big sister I never had although no one would ever really believe we were biological sisters simply because she’s African American. “What the hell does that mean, Sheldon? You have too much riding on graduating.”

“Language, Cindy.”

For a girl who spent her entire day with kids, she had a really bad habit of letting her words fly. The first time Kennedy brought home a bad word was the day I started potty training her. Promptly after making her deposit, she jumped to her feet, pointed to the kiddie potty and yelled ‘shit.’

“Sorry. I’m sure you did well, but you have to lighten up a little. If you stress then so does Kennedy.”

I didn’t need to be reminded of the risks of upsetting her. I never stopped thinking about it. “Easier said than done.”

“Have you thought about what I said?”

“No. I haven’t and I don’t need to. The answer is still no. It will always be no.”

“Sheldon—”

“No. Cindy, even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t know where to look. He’s gone .” I felt the tremble in my voice and judging by the look on Cindy’s face, I know she heard it, too. I looked down at Kennedy, who now stared up at me with wonder and innocence in her eyes that I wouldn’t want to take away because of her father’s black heart. “And if I’m lucky he’ll stay away.”

* * * * *

FOUR YEARS AGO

My guts felt as if they were crawling up my spine as I knelt over the toilet. It wasn’t fear of the unknown or even the violent retching that made my body tremble.