“No,” Katie said. She closed her eyes for a second longer than a blink. Her trembling lids seemed to communicate both fatigue and resignation.

“I don’t think I can do this on my own,” I said.

“Now you want me?” said Holly to me. It was like being glared at by a fearsome principal who’d just caught me vandalizing lockers.

I hesitated; the only answer seemed to be Yes. But, another response could have been, When didn’t I want you? Why are you asking me that? I knew pausing to think was death with Holly, so I said, “I can’t do this without you.”

“That’s true.”

At that moment, the IV machine beeped as if to remind everyone within earshot that there was a sick person in the bed who needed her dog.

CHAPTER FOUR

NOT LIKELY

Holly bolted to the door and yanked it open. “Hey. Nurse. Are you a nurse? This machine is going off in here. Somebody should check it, right?” She moved into the hall, and I heard her authoritative voice asking for help. “Nurse!”

“See?” Katie said. “It’s like having a dog that barks at every leaf.”

“Remember that night back in college when that guy had you pinned at the bar? She walked up to him and said, ‘What you’re doing is both abusive and illegal. I’ve called the police. They told me to wait patiently to give a statement.’ He scurried off, she had two drinks, and went from laughing to crying like a sorority girl about how much she loved the law and living with us and tequila. After that she threw up in a red Solo cup, and we drove her home.” I felt myself smile despite the stark difference between past Holly and current Holly.

“She acts so tough,” said Katie.

“She is tough. She’s tough on me.”

As a thousand times before, my thoughts returned to the night of our college graduation. Holly and I had lain on the floor in the spinning living room, both of us too sloshed to make it up the stairs to our beds. We were steps from the bathroom in case Holly, the most nauseous drunkard in the land, needed a toilet.

I’d left Holly’s side to get a wet dishtowel for her face, and Katie’s boyfriend, Mike, had been in the kitchen, downing a bag of stale taco chips. When I returned to the living room with the towel and a glass of water for me, Holly was upright, an ugly brown-and-gold afghan around her shoulders with a pissed-off look on her face.

“What’s wrong?” I slumped to my knees trying not to spill the water.

“I heard you, Sam. I heard you say I was disgusting.” She looked pale, sweaty, and furious.

“What are you talking about?” My heartbeat surged; the sugary wine I’d swallowed along with Angry Hammered Holly left me woozy. All I wanted was to close my eyes.

“Just now. I was in the bathroom, I heard you two.” She burped and imitated Mike’s voice, “‘She wants you.’ I heard you slap him and say, ‘Disgusting. Don’t be disgusting.’” This last part she sneered.

I was so confused. I took a sip from the water glass, forced my eyes to stay open. “Yeah, he said that, and then he made a V with his fingers and slurped his tongue through it. I hit him. You know how gross he is. I don’t know why Katie likes him.”

“You should have stood up for me.”

I put my head on the pillow we shared, pulled my own quilt over my shoulders, tried to lighten things like my mother used to. “You are a bit disgusting when you throw up in the sink.”

“Sam!” she said, her voice going up an octave.

I only remembered falling asleep after that. The next morning she had gone without saying goodbye. In retrospect, once I knew she was gay, I realized that maybe Mike’s comment made her so self-conscious, so aware of the world’s homophobia, she had to get out of there. But, that almost made it worse in some ways. How could she have, to use today’s language, callously ghosted me?

“She was tough on me for a while too.” Katie repositioned herself in the bed, pulled the sheet up an inch. “Remember she went to Europe instead of being in my wedding, but eventually I think my divorce and cancer brought her around.”

“I had a husband die!” I said like we were in a tragedy competition—the winner getting Holly’s testy friendship. I’d never forgotten the funeral, me pregnant, feeling overwhelmed in every way possible, and even in my confusion and grief, who was I waiting to see at the grave site? Holly. She didn’t call or write, let alone come to the ceremony. In some ways that hurt most of all. What could I have possibly done that merited this kind of rejection?

“Maybe Jeff’s death happened too long ago. She was completely wrapped up in her career. It was just a coincidence she was in town for Maddie’s birth. I tried, Sam.”

“I know. I know you did.”

From the hall, Holly’s loud, bossy voice shot into the room ahead of her. “It’s here. This thing is beeping,” she said. I glanced at Katie, and she shook her head.

The thing about Holly was that you always knew when she was near. She talked as she entered a room as a time management technique. If you were the one she was talking to, you had to catch up or miss everything.

I sighed loudly sitting next to Katie, and she touched my arm.

“Is her blood pressure up or something?”

Katie and I waited to see who Holly was speaking to.

“People come in here all the time and push buttons without proper assessment. Could you come and take a look? A real look.”

“Oh God,” I said, just as Holly and Beautiful Man walked into the room.

He stopped a few feet from the foot of Katie’s bed. “Oh, hi.” He looked genuinely happy to see me. But who wouldn’t be happy to see a friendly face when Holly was in cross-examination mode?

“Hi,” I said, and I pointed to Katie. “This is my friend.” I realized my mistake a second too late and swung my finger in an arc and pointed to Holly and said, “This is my friend too. Both of these people are my friends. I’m visiting this one. That one is also here.”

I could feel Katie and Holly staring at me. Beautiful Man was staring at me too. Not for good reasons, though.

“Yes,” Holly said, “I’m here too.”

Beautiful Man pushed a button on the IV machine, and it shut down.

“Don’t do that without looking at her,” Holly said. “How do you know she isn’t having a heart attack or something?”

“Do you feel like you’re having a heart attack?” Beautiful Man asked Katie.

“No. My heart feels fine, thank you. I’m not supersure about my ovaries, though. Does that machine say anything about my ovaries?”

“No, we haven’t hooked up the ovary ultrasound yet.”

That’s when I realized that Beautiful Man was no dummy. He had judged the Holly situation and knew how to join in the fun like a girl on the playground jumping into a double Dutch competition.

“Why haven’t you hooked up the ovary ultrasound? Why are we waiting on that?” Holly looked outraged, and I felt a twinge of guilt.

“We only have one in-house. And there are ovaries down the hall that need some sonar.”

“How much is an ovary ultrasound machine? Can we buy our own?”

As much as I wanted to keep going with this line of questioning, I couldn’t do it. It looked like Holly and I were going to be driving together across the country, and I didn’t want another line checked on a long document of slights between us. “The IV bag is empty. That’s why it’s beeping, Holly.”

“Get a new bag,” she said, pivoting like a champ.

I said, “Get a new bag” to Beautiful Man, and he smiled. He offered his hand to Holly. “I’m a resident working with Dr. Chopra, but I’m rotating off this service, and so, am sorry to say, I won’t be working with . . .”

“Katie Martin. Ovary difficulties,” Katie said.

I have spent years watching men meet Katie and fall in love with her. Beautiful Man was not immune to Katie’s innocent mantrap essence. To a certain kind of man I thought she must smell like sugar cookies and home-baked bread. Online dating didn’t get the same response. She was just an attractive woman in a sea of other attractive women, but in person she was irresistible to men. Asshat Tom notwithstanding.

“Are you the chief resident?” Holly interrupted.

“As much as I am an expert-in-training on ovary difficulties, no, I am not the chief resident. I am qualified to find someone to change this IV bag, though, and I’ll do that right away.

“Drew Lewis,” he said to Holly and shook her hand, and then he turned to me. “This is the situation you needed to sleep for?”

“Yes.” Ugh, he just exposed me.

“And this one is the one who is good at everything?”

The look of surprise and delight on Holly’s face was worth every odd moment I’d had with Dr. Drew Lewis, Beautiful Man. I felt like he’d opened the doghouse door and I could stroll out at my leisure. But then he said, “And this is your best friend?” He pointed to Katie.

This guy might know how to read a situation, but he didn’t know a thing about female friendship dynamics.