“We’ve got our challengers!” Tony echoes into the microphone.

“Cut!” someone shouts.

Before I know what’s happening, Zeke and Mallory are ushering Addison and me outside to where the trailers are parked. I glance over my shoulder to see Anna holding up two thumbs, and Henry watching us with a furrowed brow.

Irina is waiting for us in a dressing room trailer with a rack of nightgowns and lingerie.

“Really?” I ask.

She shrugs. “If you’re going to have a pillow fight, you should at least wear a nightie.” Swiping through the rack with discernment, she hands Addison something to try on, and after some frustration and a few grunts, she hands me—

“A housedress?” I ask. “Really?” I’m talking a long floral housedress with snap buttons and pockets on the front. Now, I’m a human girl, so of course I appreciate pockets on a dress, but every other thing on this rack is cute and sexy. I can’t walk out there in this muumuu (which I’m pretty sure still has crumbs in the pockets from the last person who wore it) and expect to win against Addison. This isn’t just about who can take who out. This is about who can charm the crowd and, subsequently, Henry.

Addison emerges from behind the dressing curtain in a pink silk pajama set with black piping around the legs, arms, and collar. The top is buttoned down low enough to show just a hint of her lace bra, and the shorts show the very bottom of her ass cheek. To be honest, it’s more skin than I would want to show, but how is there not any middle ground between sexy silk pajamas that you wouldn’t actually want to sleep in and your grandmother’s favorite muumuu?

I look down at Irina’s offering once more. “This is really all you have?”

She nods.

“You know I’m on the show. You’ve known since you met me at my house, and you couldn’t at least prepare for the possibility that you might have to clothe me?”

She shrugs, her lip curled. “I’ll be honest, I didn’t think you’d make it this far.”

Addison smirks as she pulls her hair into two girlish pigtails at the top of her head. “Just put it on. You’ll look fine.”

“Easy for you to say,” I mutter.

I don the housecoat, and when I emerge, Irina hands me a pair of bunny slippers. “You match,” she says, pointing to Addison, who is, yes, wearing bunny slippers, but on her it’s cute in a sweet way. Whereas I look like someone’s aunt with twelve too many cats.

“I can’t wear these,” I say as we walk back inside. “I’d rather go barefoot.”

Irina shrugs. “Suit yourself.”

Then I remember what Sara Claire said about that politician and her feet, and I stop in my tracks to slide the slippers on.

In the ring, Druscilla and Holly help us into headgear and pads.

“Any tips?” I ask Druscilla.

“Go for the legs. Knock her down and then throw your body on top of hers. You look like you’ve got some muscle. She looks like she could pop an implant, so use that to your favor.” She stops herself. “Not that there’s anything wrong with implants. My girlfriend has fake boobs and—”

I laugh. “It’s okay. I get it.” I nod. “Thanks.”

“Do you like this girl?” she whispers.

I pause for a second and shake my head. “Not at all.”

“Even better,” she says. “Think about all the reasons why you can’t stand her and let the pillow do the rest.”

She leans in. “We had to sign all kinds of waivers about what we can and can’t say before they hired us, so I probably shouldn’t say this, but I’m a fan.” She winks.

I grin, and she shoves a mouthpiece into my mouth. “Kick her ass.”

“You got it, coach,” I try to say through the plastic in my mouth, but it sounds more like you got a roach.

Druscilla crawls through the ropes and grabs me a pillow. “Your weapon, my lady.”

In the other corner, Addison bounces, the pigtails dancing around her shoulders as her lips curl into a snarl.

Oh yeah. I can totally do this.

“Ladies,” Tony says into his microphone in a smarmy voice. “I want a clean fight. No scratching or hair pulling. I don’t want to see fists, elbows, knees, or feet flying. Pillow contact only. First girl to pin for ten seconds wins.”

We both nod, and I think Addison actually grunts at me.

Tony steps out of the ring, and the bell barely finishes ringing before Addison lunges toward me and takes the first swing right to my head. I double backward and fall into the ropes. The crowd lets out a low ohhhh.

Not exactly how I’d hoped to start this match.

“Geez, Addison,” I say through the mouth guard.

She shrugs. “I’m just playing by the ru—”

With the pillow clenched in my fist, I hit her hard, right in the stomach, causing her to stumble out of her bunny slippers. “Me too,” I tell her.

She lets out a wild growling, shrieking sound and runs right for me. At the very last second, I jump out of the way, leaving her to bounce against the ropes.

Her face is red and angry. Now I’ve done it. Now I’ve really pissed her off.

We circle each other, waiting for the other to make a move or show the slightest sign of vulnerability.

But then I remember what Druscilla told me about using my feelings toward Addison, and it all comes boiling to the surface. The way she called me brave, like I deserved a cookie for having the nerve to be a fat girl in a pretty dress. The way she uses all the girls in the house like chess pieces. The way she acts like this competition was over before it even started.

I let out a guttural Viking-style scream and run at her full force. She ducks a moment too soon, thinking that I’m going for her head, but instead I slide across the mat and take her out at the knees just like Druscilla said I should. Before she has a second to move, I throw my body down on top of her. She wiggles beneath my weight, but Tony is already mid-count.

“Seven, six, five…”

“Get off me, you cow!” Addison says just loudly enough for me to hear.

I grin down at her as I take out my mouthpiece. “Just playing by the rules. Moo, bitch. Moo.”

“We have a winner!” Tony Danger calls. He pulls me to my feet, and I hold out a hand for Addison, but she ignores me.

I bounce with excitement. I feel like I could punch a hole through the roof.