“What? I’m all hot and bothered, Jaxon,” I said achingly. “You wouldn’t be taking advantage of me. Just do it.”

He chuckled. “You’re telling me this because you’re horny, Sara, not because you really want it with me.”

“No,” I shook my head adamantly. “That’s not it at all. I want to do it with you.”

I never thought Jaxon would be the one I would give my virginity to, but then the more I thought about it, the more it actually made sense. He was the best candidate, the only guy I ever trusted. Plus he looked so unbelievably sexy next to me, and having tasted him, I wanted his lips all over me again. Just the thought had me squeezing my thighs together.

“Why do you want to do it with me?” he asked me, eyeing my body hungrily.

“I’m sure you’d make me feel right. You’re experienced, after all.”

“I’ve never taken someone’s virginity, Sara.”

“Really?” I squinted to get a clearer look of his face in the dark, and he looked right back at me without a trace of humour in him.

“Really.” He put a hand to my cheek and stroked it before moving it down to my shoulder. The feeling of his touch drove me crazy. “As much as I want to, I didn’t plan on this. I don’t have condoms.”

“I’m on birth control.”

His eyes widened. “Since when?”

“Since Jordan.”

“I thought you and him never…”

“We didn’t.”

This definitely got his attention. I could see him battling an internal conflict that I was sure I’d win. “What else, Sara? Convince me.”

“It would make sense to give myself to you,” I muttered, closing my eyes at the feel of his hand moving down my arm deliberately slow. “You’re my best friend and I trust you.”

He stopped stroking me abruptly. “You trust me?”

“Completely.”

“What if I hurt you?”

“I imagine there will be some pain.”

“Then you’ll hate me.”

“No. If you do a good enough job, I’ll be too aroused.”

He laughed lightly. “How do you know this stuff?”

“I may be a virgin, but I’m eighteen, Jaxon. I’m not stupid.” I opened my eyes. He was distant, thinking heavily about it. Jeez. Why did I have to convince him at all? Did the others have to as well? Wasn’t it meant to be the other way around?

I grabbed his hand and, to stir him from his reveries, kissed his palm. He smiled at my affection. Then I rested on my back and, continuing to stare at him, brought his hand down to my breast. His smile vanished in an instant, replaced by aching lust behind his piercing eyes. Though I maintained as much composure as possible, I was in complete shambles on the inside. There was not one ounce of confidence in me to just spread myself wide for him without feeling self-conscious and nervous. He had to help me out, but he seemed to continue to just linger there, eyeing my body and waiting for me to do more.

So I slid his hand down slowly, and could hear his breath hitch as I brought it across my stomach, past my hip, and below my dress.

“Come on, Jaxon,” I whispered heatedly, letting his hand go.

He moved his hand up my thigh and stopped where I needed him most. Despite having my underwear on, it made little difference to me. He was touching me in my most central sensitive part – and holy hell, it felt good. His mouth parted again, and he licked his bottom lip, watching me as he started to rub me. It felt like thunderbolts of pleasure, so light and distant from the peak. I needed him, needed more of that feeling.

As if reading my mind, he leaned back over top of me and, without moving his hand away, put his mouth over mine. I pulled at his shirt, wanting it off, and he obliged quickly, throwing it on the floor somewhere. My hands ran down his solid back, and the contact of his flesh riled me up even more.

Sensing my eagerness, he pulled away and undid his belt, peering down at me with those hungry eyes. “Sara,” he whispered shakily as he pushed his pants down, “what does that make us after we do this?”

“What do you want to be?”

Pausing, he leaned over and tenderly kissed me. “I want you to be mine.”

“Are you sure you want that?”

“More than anything.”

In truth, I was terrified. Hidden in the depths of my mind, I worried we were over before we began, that this would break us and never return us to the comfort of what we once were. And the bad thing about it was that we needed each other, always had, and if this destroyed us, we would be fragments of the people we used to be, without each other, incomplete.

I kept that thought buried because in that moment I desperately wanted him. Wanted us.

He undressed himself in silent haste, raking his eyes over my body. Trying to prolong my undress, I removed my earrings and necklace, and kicked off my heels. They fell on the floor, but against our heavy breaths it barely made a sound.

Blood pumped in my ears as I looked over his body. Solid, broad, and sculpted beautifully, Jaxon looked positively divine. I felt that ache in my core at the sight of his naked body, and when he leaned in to kiss me, the heat of his skin penetrated through my dress. It was strange how I suddenly needed my own skin touching his, and that this dress was in the way of total completion.

His kiss was gentle and cautious; he was knowingly entering a territory that had for so long been off limits. His hands went around my waist, and he pulled me up, never breaking our kiss. Easing me out of bed, he set my feet down on the floor. His lips moved down to my jaw and then my neck, working its way to my shoulders. My breathing was shallow at this point and my face hot and flustered.

When he walked around me, I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, summoning the courage to do this without overthinking it. I knew I wanted him with a fiery depth that went on and on, but I didn’t want my inexperience to ruin the moment.

I felt his fingers on the zipper at my back. He was so close I could feel his body heat envelope me as he slid the zipper down and bent his head to my neck, trailing wet kisses that sent shivers all the way down to my toes.  His erection pressed at my lower back shamelessly, reminding me how much more experienced he was than me. You’ll be okay, he’ll take care of you, I told myself.

My dress hit the floor, and the air on my half naked body was welcoming against my flushed skin. He walked back around me and took a few steps away, staring at me in his naked state with an unreadable expression on his dimly lit face.

“Take your bra off,” he quietly demanded.

I took a deep breath and unhooked my strapless bra, letting it drop to the ground with my dress. I looked down at my toes, not wanting to see his reaction to my bare breasts. I’d never gone this far before. Hell, I’d never gone past making out with Jordan all that time ago despite his blatant want to do more.

“Now your underwear.” His voice was barely a whisper, and it strained in a way I’d never heard before. It was desire, I knew, but I still couldn’t bring myself to look at him.

I dropped my thin laced panties and stepped out of them. By reflex, I consciously put an arm over my breasts and hid my girly bits with my hand.

“Put your arms down at your sides and look at me, Sara.”

I looked up at him first and took another deep breath. I dropped my arms to my sides and watched him rake his eyes everywhere. Everywhere! Oh, God, I never felt more exposed in my entire life. I tried to comfort my nerves by telling myself it was too dark and that he surely couldn’t see all that much. But the moonlight washed through the windows and our eyes had long adjusted to our surroundings. The entire room was visible in blue-black contrast including Jaxon’s butt naked state. I certainly could see all of him!

I let my eyes listen to my desires, and let them drop to his lean, washboard abs, and then further down to his protruding length that was long and thick. I’d never actually seen one before. Well, I mean, of course I’d seen one in adult magazines and pornos I’d walked in on Jaxon watching or from looking them up on my own, and of course high school wasn’t an innocent haven where teens never talked about sex before. It was everywhere – sex and naked images passed along the hallways, and of course I’d caught guys in situations of undress – but I’d never seen an exposed man in person before in an aroused state.

“Do you like what you see?” he huskily asked, drawing me in with those heated eyes of his. His mouth was partly open, and his tongue danced above his lower lip, licking it every few moments.

“I do,” I answered as confidently as I could muster, but it came out a jumbled mess.

“I love what I see,” he said, nostrils flaring as he openly stared at my breasts. “You look so damn sexy, I’m kicking myself for not seeing it all these years.”

He walked to me and stopped when my breasts were against his chest. I let out an involuntary shiver at the close contact and the way his erection was pressed harshly against my stomach. My thighs felt wet, and I went crimson when he felt me in between the legs, stroking my drenched sex with his eyes closed shut. That ease and confidence he harboured radiated off of him, it was effortless soaking it in and building my own strength. He kissed me again, and his other arm wrapped around my waist, steering me back to the bed.

He carefully placed me down on the mattress, breathing heavily against my mouth. “Touch me too, Sara. Don’t be scared.” The ache in his voice had me shivering all over again. “Relax and you’ll enjoy it, but you have to do what you want, and take what you need so we both get pleasure from this. Don’t be embarrassed.”

He read me like a book, and my stiff bones instantly relaxed beneath him. Just let go and enjoy yourself, I repeated this mantra ten times before it finally settled in. And then like a fiend I kissed him roughly, letting the desire steer me through it. I moved my hands up and down his back, stroking his hard skin while I trailed my tongue against his. He groaned loudly in my mouth and pushed his tongue into mine, devouring me with a greediness that made me ache all over.

This was, hands down, the best make out session of my life. He was fucking my mouth with his, and I reciprocated the greed and took what I could, tasting his tongue and biting his lower lip. We were saturated in the wetness of our tongues, and breathing heavily. His hands roamed up and down my body until I was well accustomed to the feel of being touched like this.

I spread my legs wide and pulled back from our kiss to stare into the endless blue depths of his eyes. Fully aware of my intentions, I felt his hand brush lightly at the folds of my core, and I whimpered in pleasure at the briefest flicker of his fingers at my clit. Then I was aware of the thick dip of flesh lightly pushing at my entrance.

“Are you sure about this?” he shakily asked.

I stroked his sweat laden face and kissed his lips softly before pushing my hips up as an answer. Resting his forehead against mine, he looked down at himself slowly entering me. I gazed down in wonder, unsure how to cope with the strange and foreign feeling of his tip pushing into me. I was so small next to him, and the way I stretched to try and accommodate his thickness made me uncertain it could even be done.

“Look at me,” he whispered, and when I did, he gently nuzzled his nose against mine and kissed me lightly with a hand cupped at my cheek.

It was hugely intense staring into his eyes as he joined himself slowly, inch after inch until I sucked in my breath at a sharp pain. He paused and distracted my pain by kissing me, licking my tongue with his as he pushed again. The pain skyrocketed into a sharpness that had me biting feverishly at his lip. I wasn’t aware my arms were so tightly wrapped around his waist until I felt soreness in my forearms. Then he pushed again, and instantly slipped in, going and going, and then stopping when he hit the end of my channel.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered into my ear.

I don’t know how long we were like that, joined to the root, but the longer time had passed by, the more at ease my body felt at being filled. The pain had died off and was more like a pinch, but I was beyond aroused now that he was fully inside of me, stretching me with a growing thickness that felt so damn good.

Holy shit, I wanted to start moving again. I pushed my hips into him, groaning lightly at the friction against my clit. He slowly moved out of me, and then back in. Retreating and advancing with caution; time was on our side because he took so long adjusting me to the sensation of his arousal until I was absorbed in him with a waking need to go faster.

I would forever look back at this moment and know with certainty that he was making love to me. It wasn’t all lust and all passion; he was giving me all of him, surrendering a part of his soul he’d unknowingly reserved. We knew each other with such depth, it had only been a matter of time for a union like this, and now we had a lifetime to explore each other’s bodies with an equal depth.

“Are you feeling okay?” he asked me.

“Yes,” I quivered, moving my hands over his ass, willing him to continue faster.

“Are you in pain?”

“No.” There was still that pinch of pain, but it was dulling and easily forgettable.

“Does it feel good?”

“Yes.” Oh, yes, it did.

He groaned in my mouth, moving quicker by the second, holding me so tightly against him like he couldn’t get close enough. “I fucking love you, Sara,” he moaned, panting wildly against my neck as he continued to drive himself into me. “You’re mine. I want you to be mine. I need you.”

I couldn’t respond, too lost in my own pleasure, but I felt my heart explode at his words. They had me clutching his ass harder, concentrating on the friction and the build-up of pleasure.