“You should come to the wedding,” she says again.

“Why?”

“Because he’s our dad and he loves us and he’s getting married to someone he loves and we should celebrate that with him.”

It’s so simple for her.

“Also, it’ll be easier if we do it together,” she says.

I look up at her and understand that this whole thing has been harder for her than I realized.

“Okay,” I say. “But I don’t have a dress.”

“How about that one?” she says pointing to the lavender one, the one I liked better.

I shake my head. “You didn’t need my help choosing a dress at all, did you?”

“Nope.”

“Your plan when you came in here was to get me to go to the wedding, wasn’t it?”

She laughs an evil laugh and tumbles off the bed before I can catch her. “Yup,” she says.

“Okay,” I say once I’ve stopped laughing. “Okay, I’ll go.”

CHAPTER 58

Answers

I WAKE UP the next morning knowing I have apologies to make. I ride my bike over to the studio and haul it—one last time—to the top of the stairs. Fifi is in the reception booth, explaining something about how to sign clients up for lessons to a woman sitting at the computer.

As soon as she sees me, her eyes go wide and then narrow again. “Oh, look who it is. The vanishing dancing queen.” She quick-steps it out of the booth, stops about a foot away from me and folds her arms. “Did not think I would see you again.” She’s not just being her usual Fifi self. I hurt her feelings.

I take a step toward her. “Fi, I’m sorry for running off and for not calling and for not saying thank you. I’m really sorry.”

She sniffs and taps her heels and considers. “Not nice to abandon people who care about you,” she says.

“I know. I’m really sorry, Fi,” I say again.

Finally, she smiles. “I’m glad to see you. Will not ask why you ran away from dance like girl who lost shoe in fairy tale,” she says.

By “will not ask” she means she’s about to ask me.

Lucky for me, Archibald and Maggie come gliding down the hallway.

“Well, isn’t this a wonderful surprise,” Maggie says, wrapping me in her rose-garden hug. “Has Fifi filled you in on all the wonderful things that have happened?”

“Most important news is that we hire real receptionist,” Fifi says, pointing her thumb at the woman in the reception booth. “Already, I throw away infernal ding-ding-ding,” she says, jabbing at her own hand to demonstrate how the desk bell worked.

Archibald laughs. “Fortunately, that’s not the only good news,” he says. I forgot just how much his eyes twinkle when he talks. “Enrollment is up forty percent since Danceball. Next week LA Weekly is sending a reporter to do a photo shoot and an interview.”

“That’s incredible,” I say, and I mean it. It’s great to hear that something good came out of this experience.

“It’s all thanks to you, dear,” Maggie says. She means thanks to me and X, of course, but she’s too considerate to mention it. I wonder what X has told her about our breakup.

We talk for a little while about my plans for the rest of summer and NYU in the fall. I promise to stop by to visit before I leave and to find a place to keep dancing in New York. And then it’s time for me to go.

Archibald and Maggie hug me one more time before going back into the heart of the studio. Impulsively, I hug Fifi, and she surprises me by hugging me back and holding on tight. “You are very good dancer,” she whispers into my ear. “I was proud to teach you.” I can’t prove it, but I swear I see something like tears in her eyes when she pulls away.

Just as I’m about to leave, I spot the Instructions for Dancing book sitting in the back corner of the reception booth, where Fifi tossed it the first time I came here.

My heart trips. I know it’s not a coincidence that I’m seeing the book right now. I know I’m supposed to see it.

“Hey, Fi, can I take that book?” I ask, pointing at it.

She gets it and hands it to me through the reception window. “Of course,” she says, “but is very silly. Cannot learn to dance from a book.”

“I know, but it led me here, right?” I flip to the page with the La Brea Dance address on it. It seems like a lifetime ago that I walked in here hoping I was going to learn whatever lesson I needed to learn to get rid of the visions. The Evie that walked in here that day thought she understood how unfair life could be, and how painful. That Evie had absolutely no idea.

I put the book into my backpack and take one last look around. Down the hallway, in front of studio five, I see Archibald pull Maggie into a twirl. At first I think that they have no idea how lucky they are. But then I study the look on both their faces, a combination of wonder and certainty, and I know I’m wrong. They know exactly how lucky they are.

* * *

——

It takes me barely any time at all to get to the Hancock Park neighborhood. The street, when I find it, is still overflowing with jasmine bushes and jacaranda trees. The Little Free Library is still next to the big sycamore tree.

I get off my bike, flip down the kickstand and walk over to the library. All my books, including Cupcakes and Kisses, are still inside. The memory of X texting me as he read it makes me want to laugh and also to never laugh again.

I take Instructions for Dancing out of my backpack and stuff it inside.

“Hello, Evie,” says a voice from behind me.

I never told her my name, but really, how she knows my name is the least mysterious thing to happen to me in months.

I whirl around. Her face is the same as I remember: weathered brown paper.

“Why did you do this to me? How did you expect me to feel, watching people get their hearts broken over and over again?”

She smiles at me. It’s a gentle smile, an understanding one.

I don’t know if a smile has ever made me angrier.

I’m mad at her for cursing me with this terrible power.

I’m mad at whatever force created a world where we are born to love and also to watch the people we love die.

People who say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all have never really loved anyone and never really lost anyone either.