“To answer your question, Nina, that pleasure is worth the pain too.”

Speechless, I entered my room and shut the door behind me, gearing up for another night of restlessness.

CHAPTER 6

As I sat in class thinking about last night’s tutoring session, Professor Hernandez began to address the room and startled me out of my daydream.

“Please quiet down, folks. We have a lot to get to today. We’re going to spend the first half of class running through some of the examples you turned in. Then, the last half will be the exam.”

He paused for about a minute looking through the stack of homework submissions.

“Where is Ms. Kennedy?”

I raised my hand. “Here, sir.”

Professor Hernandez put his glasses on and examined the paper in his hand a bit more closely before looking over at me. “Pimps and whores, Ms. Kennedy?”

My heart fell to my stomach, remembering that I had submitted the two examples Jake and I put together for the transportation and nutrition word problem assignment. Whoops.

Please don’t mention Mrs. Ballsworthy’s shit cake.

The class erupted in laughter at the pimp reference, and when it started to die down, I said, “Yes, sir.”

He shook his head and examined the document again. “All I can say is, you’re lucky the solution is correct, Ms. Kennedy.”

I nodded silently, wanting to crawl into a hole.

When the attention of the class finally left me, my breathing settled. Just as the professor moved onto another student’s assignment, my phone vibrated then began to play a song I didn’t immediately recognize, loudly disrupting the lecture.

I then quickly realized it was Everywhere You Look, the theme song to the show Full House.

No. no. no. no.

I looked down at the screen: Jake Calling.

I immediately silenced the phone, and the noise from the song was replaced with the sounds of my classmates laughing and whispering.

He didn’t.

He did. Damn it, Jake.

Apparently, when he took my phone away the other day, he must have programmed it as a “special” ringtone for his incoming calls.

I looked up at Professor Hernandez’s stern expression. “Ms. Kennedy, I suggest you silence your phone during my class.”

I swallowed and said, “I am very sorry.”

As the professor continued with the lecture, the guy next to me said, “That was classic.”

I turned to him and noticed that he had a really nice smile. He was actually very good looking, not in the darkly gorgeous way Jake was, but in a preppy with fine features sort of way. His short, light brown hair was neat, and he had big blue eyes and a small perfect nose with a dusting of freckles.

“I’m Alistair,” he whispered, holding out his hand.

I took it and smiled. “Nina.”

Professor Hernandez glared in my direction again. Alistair took notice, so we stopped talking, turning our attention back to the front of the room.

After a few minutes, I looked down at my phone to find a text from Jake.

Jake: How did the test go?

Nina: Still in class. We haven’t taken it yet. He is going over the assignments and called me out for the whore example. Thanks a lot for that ringtone. That was the icing on the cake.

Jake: The shit cake? LOL. My pleasure. Let me know how the exam goes. I need to know if I have to start planning. (Insert evil laugh here.)

I laughed even though the text made me very uneasy and reminded me what I was up against.

My phone vibrated again.

Jake: Stop freaking out, Nina.

How did he know I was freaking out? I smiled to myself, put my phone back in my purse and glanced over at Alistair who grinned at me.

Professor Hernandez instructed the class to put all mobile devices away and began handing out the exams.

The problems presented were very similar to the homework assignment, and I began to make some tables and break down all of the information like Jake had showed me.

By the time I had finished, I knew I had gotten at least two out of the five problems correct but was unsure about the rest.

I could feel the doubt and anxiety building, and then the professor indicated our time was up. He walked around to collect the exams and let us know that he would correct them after class and post the results online tonight. He had setup a page on his website where we could log in for exam results.

The class was dismissed, and as I was walking out of the classroom, I heard Alistair behind me out of breath. “Nina, wait up.”

“Hey.” I smiled. “How did you do?”

“Pretty good. I think I got them all right, actually,” he said.

“I wish I could say the same. I know I got at least two correct, but not sure about the other three.”

“Well, if you’re having trouble, I’d be happy to help you after class sometime.”

“That’s really sweet, but believe it or not, I actually have a really great tutor and still can’t manage to do well…so…”

Alistair nodded and flashed me another big smile. “Well, maybe we could just hang out sometime?”

I hesitated. “Sure. That would be nice.”

“Great. Um, let me get your number. I’ll put it in my phone.”

As I watched him enter the information, I suddenly felt uneasy and deep down, I knew it had something to do with my growing attraction to Jake. I was pretty sure I wasn’t even Jake’s type but still couldn’t help the crush I had on him. I guess in a strange way, in agreeing to a date with Alistair, I felt disloyal to my own feelings. I was never the type that could focus on more than one guy at a time, even if the guy in focus had no clue how I felt. But I needed to move past that. I was pretty sure that it was unhealthy to think something would happen with Jake, especially after the little sexcapade I had overheard when I first moved in. Clearly, my roomie has his own “stuff” going on. That, coupled with the fact that he disappears to Boston every weekend…well, even if I was his type, which I’m not, it just wouldn’t—

Alistair interrupted my thoughts. “Hey…are you still with me?”

I didn’t realize I had zoned out. “Sorry, I was thinking about the exam.” I lied.

He handed me back my phone as we walked toward the exit. “So, what was the deal with the Full House song?”

“Ugh. My friend changed my ringtone without my knowing. It’s a running joke that I resemble the Olsen twins.”

Was Jake my friend? I guess he was.

Stop. Thinking. About. Jake.

Alistair grinned. “Really? I wouldn’t have picked up on that. I mean, they’re cute and all, but you’re much cuter.”

“Why, thank you. You would be the first person to hold that sentiment.”

“Well, it’s true,” he said. There was that thousand-watt smile of his again.

“Thanks.”

“So…I better run. I have a Psych class that starts in a few minutes next door,” he said.

“Okay. Enjoy that.”

“Bye, Nina. I’ll call you soon.”

***

That afternoon, on the walk home, I came up with a plan to butter Jake up so that he would go easy on me with the whole fear-facing punishment. Maybe I could make a deal with him where I could at least have some say in what he chooses to have me do. For example, even though riding the subway was something I avoided, it gave me nowhere near the terror that elevators did. I was sure he didn’t realize just how incapacitated I had become over the years and how hard it was going to be for me to face my fears.

Even though I hadn’t gotten my grade yet, I was certain it wasn’t an A, so I needed to put my plan into action. They say the way to get to a man is through his stomach. I knew just what I was going to make for him.

Tarah and Ryan arrived home together just as I was starting the fire on the stove.

“What are you doing, missy?” Tarah asked.

“Trying to save my ass.”

She laughed. “What are you making?”

“Did Jake say anything about our bet?”

Tarah shook her head. “No. Jake doesn’t really say anything to me about anything. Is this about the tutoring?”

“Yes. Basically, each time I don’t get an A on one of my exams, he is going to make me face one of my phobias. It’s a sick sort of punishment, really.”

Ryan laughed. “No shit? I think that’s brilliant!”

“I knew you would feel that way, Ryan.”

Tarah rubbed my back. “I am sorry, sweetie. I agree with Ryan. You can’t live like this, especially since you live in the city now. Imagine how much easier life would be if you could get past all of that shit.”

“I just don’t like to be forced into it.”

Ryan raised his voice. “No one is forcing you to do anything, and you know it, Nina. You agreed to Jake’s little bet because you know that you need to be pushed, or you’ll never change. These things only get worse the longer you let them fester.”

I knew he was right.

Ryan and Tarah left to have an early dinner downstairs at Eleni’s. About twenty minutes later, I was just about finished with my masterpiece when I heard the door open.

Jake slammed the door shut and started sniffing. “What do I smell?”

His immediate reaction to the aroma made me chuckle. “What do you think you smell?

His stride toward the kitchen area became faster with each step. “I smell heaven. What did you do? That’s not—”

I bit my bottom lip and nodded with a smile. “It is.”

“Bananas Foster? Bananas f**king Foster?”

“Yup. I made it for you, as a thank you for helping me last night.” I burst into laughter at his reaction as his eyes bugged out of his head.

Jake said nothing, just sat down, took a huge bite, dipping his head back in ecstasy and moaned.

I’ve heard that moan before. I shook my head to get the disturbing thought of Jake with another woman out of my mind.

His mouth was full. “Ugh. Mmmmmm. Oh my God. You know this is like my wet dream, right?”

There’s an analogy: What Bananas Foster is to Jake…Jake is to Nina.

“I figured you’d like it.”

“Like it…Nina…I f**king love it,” he said before taking another huge bite. He ate in silence for a few minutes with his eyes closed half of the time. “Where did you learn to make this?”

“I actually took a dessert-making class back home once. It’s actually not that hard to make. It’s just butter, sugar, rum, vanilla, cinnamon, ice cream and of course, bananas.”

He continued to devour the entire batch until the plate was bone dry. I sat across from the table with my chin in my hands just watching it happen like a spectator sport.

He ran his finger repeatedly across the plate licking the last remnants, which caused my insides to tingle.

I suddenly wished I were wearing the plate.

When there was nothing left, he closed his eyes one last time, slowly opened them wide, shook his head and said, “Mmm…mmm…mmm. Promise me you’ll make that again for me.”

I laughed at how serious he was actually being. “That can be arranged.”

“I don’t think you understand. That was the best thing I have ever tasted in my entire life. No one has ever made anything for me like that. My mother couldn’t cook for shit growing up. She worked hard and all, especially after my father died but never cooked, never baked. That’s why I started eating so many damn bananas in the first place.”

That was the first moment Jake ever shared anything important about himself with me.

“How old were you when your father died?”

He seemed caught off guard by the question but answered looking down at the plate. “I was five, almost six.”

My heart broke for him. “I’m sorry, Jake.”

“Yeah, me too.” He coughed and quickly changed the subject. “Anyway, you’re making this again, okay?

“Well, I did make it as a thank you, but I have to admit…there may have been an ulterior motive.”

He wiped his mouth with a napkin, crumpled it and threw it at me jokingly. “Oh?”

“Yes. I was actually hoping that maybe you would go easy on me if it turns out I didn’t get an A…maybe let me have some say in how far I’m willing to go with this punishment thing.”

He threw his head back in laughter, and I could see his tongue ring. He scratched his chin, pretending to think about it and then said, “Um…no.”

“Jake…” I whined.

He mocked me in the same tone. “Nina…”

“I am so screwed.”

“Oh, Ye of little faith. Did you even get your grade yet?”

“I am pretty sure they’re up. I just have to go online and check if they’re posted on Hernandez’s website.”

He walked down the hall and returned with his laptop, placing it on the counter. “Check it.”

I nervously keyed in the web address as he leaned in over me. I could smell the bananas and rum on his breath and could feel him breathing on my shoulder, which made me fidgety as I typed in the password.

The first thing I noticed was Alistair’s grade: Alistair York: 100.

Scrolling down, I looked for mine, and there it was: Nina Kennedy: 78.

My chest constricted with mixed emotions. I had gotten a C+, which was better than I could have ever hoped for but far from what I needed to avoid having to pass Jake’s test.

Jake and I turned to each other at the same time, and the gleam in his eyes told me I was in for it.

CHAPTER 7

Thursday afternoon, I was cleaning the kitchen when I received a text from Jake.