Just One Year Page 35
“Teagan, hopefully this is the last time I have to remind you that if you have something to say to me, say it, so we can talk about it. I don’t play the email game.”
Fine. I’ll say it.
“Why did you tell Archie I wasn’t his type?” I blurted.
Caleb’s forehead wrinkled in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“I overheard you talking in the kitchen the day after I took him sightseeing. He expressed interest in asking me out. You didn’t warn him not to mess around with me. Instead you said I wasn’t his type. You never clarified what that meant. And I’ve been left wondering.”
Caleb’s lip twitched. He finally let out a deep sigh. “I didn’t know you were listening.”
“Clearly,” I huffed.
“Honestly? I don’t even know what I meant by it, Teagan. I would’ve said anything at that point to discourage him from pursuing you. Saying you weren’t his type was my way of getting around having to tell him I didn’t think he was worthy of you. It was not a dig at you, if that’s what you thought. Just the opposite.”
I looked at him for a moment, still perplexed. Even if he was trying to protect me, he had no right to intervene.
“What if I wanted him to pursue me?”
Caleb’s face reddened. “I can’t stop you from doing anything. He’s my friend, but he treats women like absolute rubbish.”
“He seems to think you were the same way back in England.”
“I was,” he said without hesitation.
“And you’re not now?”
“I’m a bit older and wiser.”
“Then why can’t you say the same about Archie?”
“I’m just venturing my best guess, based on past experience, that Archie isn’t right for you. Do you want to get involved with someone who’s leaving in less than three months?”
“You won’t be here all that much longer than that. Why are you bothering with Veronica?”
Caleb leaned his head back and exhaled. “Archie asked me the same thing last night, and I didn’t have an answer for him. I still don’t.”
“You’re being hypocritical. That’s the answer.”
“Maybe. But I don’t care, if it means protecting you.” He rubbed his temples. “Look...I just don’t want you to get hurt. That’s all it comes down to. If you want to date Archie, I can’t stop you. I’ve warned you. That’s all I can do. I won’t interfere anymore.”
I had no intention of dating Archie. It wasn’t worth it—not only because Archie was leaving soon, but because I knew it would upset Caleb. He was my friend, and I would never do anything to hurt him. Now, to ruffle his feathers a little? Maybe. But it was time to come clean.
“When you said I wasn’t his type, it angered me. I wondered if you meant I wasn’t…sexy enough, desirable enough. That’s when I started playing around with the hair and makeup. I feel stupid even admitting that to you.”
Caleb’s eyes went wide. “I assumed you were doing that to impress him. I never imagined it had anything to do with something I said.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “Fuck, Teagan. You don’t need that mud on your face. You look ten times more beautiful right now than you did last night.”
He immediately looked away. I wondered if he regretted saying it. But it was too late. Those words would forever be happily ingrained in my memory.
“I agree on the makeup.” I smiled. “But I do like my hair down. I might stick with this look.”
“You have beautiful hair,” he whispered, almost like he didn’t want me to hear it.
I felt my loins heat up. “Thank you.”
What was happening between us right now? I honestly didn’t know. Nothing had changed. Caleb still had a girlfriend. And I was still the awkward girl in the basement. Yet the vibe somehow felt different than it had before.
“Teagan,” he said. “Not everyone would’ve admitted what you just did—that I made you feel insecure. I love how honest you are. There are very few people in this world I can count on to be honest. That’s why it makes me so angry when you email me when you’re pissed off. I know you’re capable of so much more. We both are.” He looked up at the ceiling. “I’ve really come to value you as a friend. And my behavior over the past couple of days has everything to do with that. I don’t want you to get hurt. That’s all.” His eyes met mine again. “I’ve grown to care about you very much.”
He looked conflicted.
I didn’t know what to say. My body buzzed with an excited energy, likely fueled by some insane hope that his feelings for me might go beyond friendship.
As much as we’d just opened up to each other, I felt no closure. He was being more honest than I was. My feelings for him had evolved way past an innocent point. But I didn’t see what good it would do to admit that. Aside from the fact that he had a girlfriend, I had no clue if his feelings for me were truly platonic or not. Did he care for me like a sister, or was he starting to feel more? I was terrified to ask directly. I wasn’t prepared for the answer, no matter what it was.