‘Please let’s not go over this again. I’m sorry about what happened to you, Paul. I’m sorry and I’m still angry. But I keep hanging on, as you put it, because on the day I stop, Josie’s world, my world, would collapse.’

‘Why are you so sure of that, Chrissie? Look, it’s a big step, I know. I’m only suggesting you think about it further. Try viewing things from a fresh perspective.’

‘Fresh perspective? Come on, Paul. Don’t start claiming you’re happy about the way it turned out. All that talent. All that experience.’

‘Honestly? I think the substitutions were the best thing that happened to me. I’m well out of it.’

‘How can you say that? You were top-flight. Unique knowledge, specialist skills. How is it right no one can make use of you?’

‘Chrissie, I have to tell you, you’re much more bitter about it than I am. The substitutions made me take a completely fresh look at the world, and I really believe they helped me to distinguish what’s important from what isn’t. And where I live now, there are many fine people who feel exactly the same way. They all came down the same road, some with careers far grander than mine. And we all of us agree, and I honestly believe we’re not kidding ourselves. We’re better off than we were back then.’

‘Really? Everyone thinks that? Even that friend of yours, the one who was the judge in Milwaukee?’

‘I’m not saying it’s always easy. We all have our bad days. But compared to what we had before, we feel like…we’re really living for the first time.’

‘That’s good to hear from an ex-husband.’

‘Sorry. Look, never mind this. I have some questions. About this portrait.’

‘Not now, Paul. Not here.’

‘Hmm. Okay.’

‘Hey, Dad,’ Josie called out beside me. ‘You go ahead and ask what you want. I’m not listening.’

‘Like hell you’re not listening,’ the Father said and laughed.

‘No more arguments about the portrait, Paul,’ the Mother said. ‘You owe me that.’

‘I owe you? I don’t quite see why I owe you anything, Chrissie.’

‘Not now, Paul.’

It was just then I realized that the Tow-Away Zone sign we were passing was the very one I knew so well, and in that same instant, the RPO Building appeared on Josie’s side, and the familiar taxis were all around us. But when I turned with excitement towards our store, I could see something was not correct.

Of course I’d never seen the store from the street, but even so, there were no AFs and no Striped Sofa in the window. Instead there was a display of colored bottles and a sign saying ‘Recessed Lighting’. I turned right around to continue looking just as Josie said:

‘Hey, Klara, you know where we are?’

‘Yes, of course.’ But we were already beyond the pedestrian crossing, and I hadn’t even looked to see if the birds were perched up on the traffic signal. In fact I’d been so startled by the store’s new appearance, I’d not observed the surroundings nearly as much as I’d have liked. And then we were in a different section of the street altogether, and I turned again to see, through the rear windshield, the RPO Building growing smaller.

‘You know what I think?’ There was concern in Josie’s voice. ‘I think maybe your old store’s moved on.’

‘Yes. Perhaps.’

But I had no more time to think about the store, for what I saw next – between the two front seats – was the Cootings Machine. I recognized it before we were close enough to see the name on its body. There it was, throwing out Pollution from three funnels the way it had always done. I knew I should feel anger, but coming on it after the surprise about the store, I felt something almost like kindness towards the terrible machine. Then we’d passed it, the Mother and the Father continuing to speak with tension, and Josie said beside me: ‘These stores, the way they keep changing. That day I came looking for you, that’s what I was afraid of. That the store would have gone, you and all your friends with it.’

I smiled at her, but didn’t say anything. In the front the adults’ voices grew louder.

‘Look, Paul, we’ve been over and over this. Josie, Klara and I are going in there and we’re proceeding just as planned. You agreed to it, remember?’

‘I agreed to it, but I can still comment, can’t I?’

‘Not here you can’t! Not now and not in this goddam car!’

Josie, all this time, had been saying something to me, but she’d become distracted. Now, as the adults fell silent, she said: ‘If you want, Klara, we can go look for it tomorrow provided we’ve time.’

I almost thought she meant the Cootings Machine, then realized she was referring to whatever new premises Manager and the other AFs might have gone to. I thought she was being hasty in assuming they’d definitely moved, simply because the window had looked different, and was about to say so, when she leaned forward to the adults.

‘Mom? Just if there’s time tomorrow? Klara wants to go find out what’s happened to her old store. Could we do that?’

‘If you want, honey. That was the deal. Today we go and see Mr Capaldi and you do what he asks. Tomorrow we do what you want.’

The Father shook his head and turned to his own window, but because Josie was sitting directly behind him, she didn’t see his expression.

‘Don’t worry, Klara.’ She reached over to touch my arm. ‘We’ll find it tomorrow.’

* * *

—

The Mother steered the car off the street into a small yard enclosed by wire mesh. There was an anti-parking sign fixed to a fence, but she stopped the car facing it beside the only other car present. When we got out, the ground was hard and cracked in many places. Josie began her cautious walk beside the Father towards a brick building overlooking the yard, and perhaps because of the uneven ground, the Father took her arm. The Mother, standing at the car, watched this and didn’t move for a moment. Then to my surprise, she came up to me and took my own arm, and we began to walk together, as though in imitation of the Father and Josie.

There were no other adjoining buildings to either side, and I designated it a building rather than a house because the brickwork was unpainted and dark fire escapes rose up in zigzags. There were five stories ending at a flat rooftop, and I had the impression the reason there were no neighbor buildings was because something unfortunate had happened, and they’d had to be cleared away by the overhaul men. As I stepped over the cracks, the Mother leaned closer towards me.