Klara and the Sun Page 51
‘It’s a pity Josie and the Father have left. Mr Capaldi’s work on the portrait may be temporarily impeded.’
‘It’s okay,’ he said. ‘Not a serious setback.’
‘I need to hear,’ the Mother said. ‘I need to hear, Klara, what you think. About what you saw.’
‘I apologize for examining the portrait without permission. But in the circumstances, I felt it best to do so.’
‘Okay,’ the Mother said, and again I saw she was fearful rather than angry. ‘Now tell us what you thought. Or rather, tell us what you think you saw up there.’
‘I’d suspected for some time that Mr Capaldi’s portrait wasn’t a picture or a sculpture, but an AF. I went in to confirm my speculation. Mr Capaldi has done an accurate job of catching Josie’s outward appearance. Though perhaps the hips should be a little narrower.’
‘Thank you,’ Mr Capaldi said. ‘I’ll bear that in mind. It’s still a work in progress.’
The Mother suddenly lowered her face into her hands, letting her hair hang over them. Mr Capaldi turned to her with an expression of concern, but didn’t move from his spot. The Mother wasn’t crying though, and she said through her hands, her voice muffled:
‘Maybe Paul’s right. Maybe this whole thing’s been a mistake.’
‘Chrissie. You mustn’t lose faith.’
She brought her head back up and her eyes were now angry. ‘It’s not a matter of faith, Henry. Why are you so fucking sure I’ll be able to accept that AF up there, however well you do her? It didn’t work with Sal, why will it work with Josie?’
‘What we did with Sal is no comparison. We’ve been through this, Chrissie. What we made with Sal was a doll. A bereavement doll, nothing more. We’ve come a long, long way since then. What you have to understand is this. The new Josie won’t be an imitation. She really will be Josie. A continuation of Josie.’
‘You want me to believe that? Do you believe that?’
‘I do believe it. With everything I’m worth, I believe it. I’m glad Klara went in there and looked. We need her on board now, we’ve needed that for a long time. Because it’s Klara who’ll make the difference. Make it very, very different this time round. You have to keep faith, Chrissie. You can’t weaken now.’
‘But will I believe in it? When the day comes. Will I really?’
‘Excuse me,’ I said. ‘I’d like to say there’s a chance you’ll never need the new Josie. The present one may become healthy. I believe there’s a good chance of this. I’ll need, of course, the opportunity, the chance to make it so. But since you’re so distressed, I’d like to say this now. If ever there comes such a sad day, and Josie is obliged to pass away, I’ll do everything in my power. Mr Capaldi is correct. It won’t be like the last time with Sal because this time you’ll have me to help. I now understand why you’ve asked me, at every step, to observe and learn Josie. I hope the very sad day will never come, but if it does, then I’ll use everything I’ve learned to train the new Josie up there to be as much like the former one as possible.’
‘Klara,’ the Mother said in a firmer voice, and suddenly she’d become partitioned into many boxes, far more than at the Friend’s Apartment when the Father had first come in. In several of the boxes her eyes were narrow, while in others they were wide open and large. In one box there was room only for a single staring eyeball. I could see parts of Mr Capaldi at the edges of some boxes, so I was aware that he’d raised his hand into the air in a vague gesture.
‘Klara,’ the Mother was saying. ‘You’ve made your deductions well. And I’m grateful for what you’ve just said. But there’s something you need to hear.’
‘No, Chrissie, not yet.’
‘Why not? Why the hell not? You said yourself we need Klara on board. That she’s the one who’ll make the difference.’
There was a moment of silence, then Mr Capaldi said: ‘Okay. If that’s how you want it. Tell her.’
‘Klara,’ the Mother said. ‘We came here today, the main reason. It wasn’t so Josie could sit more. We came here because of you.’
‘I understand,’ I said. ‘I understood about the survey. It was to test how well I’ve come to know Josie. How well I understand how she makes her decisions and why she has her feelings. I think the results will show I’m well able to train the Josie upstairs. But I say again, it’s wrong to give up hope.’
‘You still don’t quite understand,’ Mr Capaldi said. Although he was standing there before me, his voice seemed to come from the edges of my vision, because all I could see still were the Mother’s eyes. ‘Let me explain to her, Chrissie. It’ll be easier coming from me. Klara, we’re not asking you to train the new Josie. We’re asking you to become her. That Josie you saw up there, as you noticed, is empty. If the day comes – I hope it doesn’t, but if it does – we want you to inhabit that Josie up there with everything you’ve learned.’
‘You wish me to inhabit her?’
‘Chrissie chose you carefully with that in mind. She believed you to be the one best equipped to learn Josie. Not just superficially, but deeply, entirely. Learn her till there’s no difference between the first Josie and the second.’
‘Henry’s telling you this now,’ the Mother said, and suddenly she was no longer partitioned, ‘like it was carefully planned. But it was never like that. I didn’t even know if I believed any of this would work. Maybe once I believed it could. But seeing that portrait up there, I don’t know any more.’
‘So you see what’s being asked of you, Klara,’ Mr Capaldi said. ‘You’re not being required simply to mimic Josie’s outward behavior. You’re being asked to continue her for Chrissie. And for everyone who loves Josie.’
‘But is that going to be possible?’ the Mother said. ‘Could she really continue Josie for me?’
‘Yes, she can,’ Mr Capaldi said. ‘And now Klara’s completed the survey up there, I’ll be able to give you scientific proof of it. Proof she’s already well on her way to accessing quite comprehensively all of Josie’s impulses and desires. The trouble is, Chrissie, you’re like me. We’re both of us sentimental. We can’t help it. Our generation still carry the old feelings. A part of us refuses to let go. The part that wants to keep believing there’s something unreachable inside each of us. Something that’s unique and won’t transfer. But there’s nothing like that, we know that now. You know that. For people our age it’s a hard one to let go. We have to let it go, Chrissie. There’s nothing there. Nothing inside Josie that’s beyond the Klaras of this world to continue. The second Josie won’t be a copy. She’ll be the exact same and you’ll have every right to love her just as you love Josie now. It’s not faith you need. Only rationality. I had to do it, it was tough but now it works for me just fine. And it will for you.’