Lilac Page 40
“It’s a fucking wrap, Denver. Good night!” Houston shouted to the roaring crowd. The stage lights at the Broncos Stadium at Mile High were cut—our cue to get the fuck out of Dodge.
We were ushered through the tunnel the players used to enter the field, and as soon as we were behind closed doors of the room we were given to lounge in before the show, Houston rounded on me while ignoring Xavier waiting nearby. I knew he was ready to rip into me for the mistakes I’d made out there tonight. No one except a professional would have noticed, but it didn’t matter because Houston Morrow was a persnickety scrooge.
He was also looking for any reason to go to war with me.
“Whatever you’re about to say,” Xavier cut in before he could start, “it will have to wait. There’s been a development.”
“Does it require all of us, or can I go?” Loren snapped. When our gazes met, he immediately looked away as if he couldn’t stand the sight of me. My tired sigh was drowned out by Xavier, who ignored Loren’s bitchiness and began speaking.
“Braxton’s popularity has grown to the point that the label felt it wise to sell backstage passes without my knowledge.”
“Wait. What?” Loren snapped. He then looked at me and narrowed his gaze as if this were my doing.
“They want to meet Braxton,” Xavier answered with a shrug and then an apologetic look thrown my way. For some reason, I hadn’t anticipated this part of touring with an international rock band. I’d been too busy trying to keep my wits when they were around. “She’s new to Bound and virtually unknown. The public’s only knowledge of her is what we tell them.”
“We like it that way,” Houston pushed through gritted teeth.
“Well, your fans, the reason you’re all here and still have a career, don’t. It won’t kill you to mingle for an hour. You’ve done it before. I don’t see the problem.”
“The problem is that we should have been told.”
“I’m telling you now,” Xavier returned unperturbed. “Besides, they didn’t pay extra to meet you three anyway. They want her.”
“Yeah,” Loren returned with a scoff, “right. I’ll believe that when my dick falls off.” He stormed off, making it clear he wasn’t looking for someone to argue.
“This is nuts,” Rich said, surprising me with his objection. “This is Brax’s first tour. We’ve only done a few shows. How do they know it won’t be too much for her?”
I raised my eyebrows at that. I’m sure I could handle a polite conversation with complete strangers. I did it almost every day working at Succulent. “Well, if you guys could manage it with your sparkling personalities, I’m sure I’ll be just fine.”
Rich’s gaze swung to me, his silver eyes panicking when he realized he’d offended me. I already knew that wasn’t what he intended. He wanted to protect me, but I could handle myself. I was getting good at dealing with their shit. “No, that’s not—I didn’t mean—”
I took his much larger hand in mine and squeezed. “It’s fine. I know.”
My palm tingled from touching him so soon after last night. I knew from the twinkle in his eye that he was reliving it too. Since I couldn’t entirely blame my reaction on lust, I let him go and calmly waited for the sweet scent of berries to dissipate.
First Loren and now Jericho.
What did these new emotions mean?
As if nothing was amiss, I turned, intending to address Xavier only to have my attention stolen by something else. Houston was beautiful even when he was foreboding. Right now, his eyes and the set of his lips told me I’d have a long night ahead of me. I squared my shoulders, pretending I didn’t care that he knew something happened between Rich and me.
“When do the meet-and-greets begin?” I questioned Xavier.
He looked at his watch and then at the door behind me, which had just opened. “Now.”
I was glad that I wasn’t still holding Rich’s hand. I didn’t want the first impression Bound’s fans had of me to be that I screwed my way to the top. Everyone knew that assumptions spread rumors, and facts were optional.
I happened to have fucked, sucked, and made out with each member of Bound.
It wasn’t how I’d borrowed a place in their world. I had no intention of sticking around. All that mattered was that I’d have the strength to walk away when it was time.
I tried to follow Xavier when he started for the small group teeming with excitement, but a hand wrapping around my wrist stopped me.
I knew by the cruel grip that it was Houston.
Rich was too gentle when he wasn’t getting blown, and Loren was still off somewhere sulking. Besides, Loren would have grabbed my ass and wouldn’t care who saw.
“This isn’t happening,” he announced once I spun on my heel to face him. I was still debating whether to break his nose or not. “Go back to the bus. I’ll tell Xavier you were feeling sick. The label will refund them their money.”
I pulled my wrist free, and to keep from making a scene, Houston let me.
“You might be okay with that, but I’m not. Look at them.” Of course, he ignored my order and kept his gaze on me instead. “I’ll bet you at least one of those people over there sacrificed more than just a couple hundred bucks. You can refund their money, but you can’t give that back. I won’t disappoint them.”
“That’s exactly what you’ll do if you go over there. They want something that we can’t give them, Braxton. Not now, maybe never. We’re expected to act like friends, like we can stand to breathe the same air. We can’t.”
I considered his point. I knew surliness couldn’t be the reason Houston, Loren, and Rich would be willing to turn their fans away. Bound was the glass bottle they used to trap their emotions.
On stage, they were free to let them run wild.
Once the lights died, they shoved it all back inside, keeping it corked until the next show.
The problem with glass was that it shattered under pressure.
Rage, defiance, and sorrow were all they had to give, so they channeled it into their music and harnessed it on stage. They showed their ugly truth through a beautiful lens. The world believed that it was all a performance, and they let them because rejection was almost certain.
Obscurity protected them.
Until now, I assumed they were immune. I thought their devil-may-care attitude was the truth behind the fa?ade. It wasn’t. It was the mask itself.
And what of my own need to dissimulate?
Tonight, I’d stumbled my way through the setlist because I couldn’t get past the sex occupying every corner of my mind. If it weren’t for the meet-and-greet, I’d have gone after Loren, maybe cornered Rich, or convinced Houston to let go once more.
Spoiler alert: It would have been a lie.
I was incapable of not wanting more. I warned them as much at the festival.
Running back to the bus and hiding sounded like a no-brainer—until I remembered that I was on this tour to do the opposite.
“So what?” I said, pissing Houston off enough to fry an egg on his head. “You think they’re looking for perfection? Your pain is what called to them, Houston. They won’t turn away. Not as long as you keep giving them something real.”
“Flaws over frauds,” Rich mumbled behind me.
I flashed him a grateful smile over my shoulder.
Yeah.
Flaws over frauds.
Braxton and Rich took off for the group before I could stop them. If she wanted to learn the hard way, who was I to object? I’d never be bored, that was for goddamn sure. She was perfect smiles and bright eyes as she greeted the group eager to meet her, while Rich hovered like her goddamn lady-in-waiting.
Resigned to whatever this night turned into, I headed for the opposite side of the room. There, from my perch on the sofa, I clocked every move Braxton made.
Five minutes passed, ten, and then fifteen.
I’d just managed to relax when Loren showed his face.
Leaning forward, the knot in my belly returned as I watched the public relations nightmare make a beeline for her. I wouldn’t put it past him to purposely say or do something that would piss Braxton off and make everyone uncomfortable.
If I were forced to make another public apology because of him, I was breaking every bone in his body.
He was barely in the room before Braxton noticed him. She tensed with each step he took toward them. I could tell even from here that she was holding her breath. He’d completely stolen her attention. When he reached the group, Loren waited until the last second before it was awkward to hold out his hand. The guy closest to him shook it vigorously, and Braxton visibly relaxed.
Knowing the group would eventually make their way over to me, I waved over one of the roadies waiting nearby and had him lay out some free merchandise on the table in front of me. They might have been here to meet Braxton, but there was no way that I’d get away with brooding alone in the corner. Not as Bound’s front man.