Lilac Page 58
“It’s a disguise.”
“Clearly. You look like someone I should be telling to stay away from schools and playgrounds.” Rich immediately snatched off the wig and shoved it against Loren’s chest. The mustache, sideburns, and glasses quickly followed. “That’s better,” Loren said with a sigh. “I’m honestly questioning how Braxton let you go down on her looking like a pervert.” When Rich looked ready to hit him, Loren smiled. “We’re supposed to be getting along, remember?”
Braxton stayed in her room for the rest of the night, and I wasn’t sure how we managed it, but none of us bothered her. Loren and Rich had grown bored waiting and were currently sound asleep in the spare. Meanwhile, I was wide awake and feeling anxious. I couldn’t stop replaying in my head every fucked-up thing I’d ever said to her. I couldn’t stop wanting to undo my brutal treatment of her. My desperate desire for the impossible, to travel in time to change the past, is what kept me up. I wouldn’t be surprised if I never slept again from the fear that Braxton may never forgive me.
Sometime around one in the morning, she finally showed her face. I caught her sneaking into the kitchen and cornered her against the fridge.
“Enjoy your day?” I whispered to her with my hands on her hips. I didn’t want to risk waking Loren and Rich. I was willing to share her with them any other time and for the rest of our lives, but I needed to do this alone.
“Yes. There was so much to see.” Her nose wrinkled as she frowned. “I’m not sure I’ll get to see everything before we go.”
“No one ever sees the whole city in one visit,” I reassured her. “It just gives you an excuse to come back.”
She beamed up at me as she clutched her glass of warm milk to her chest. I guess I wasn’t the only one having trouble sleeping. “That’s true. Besides, next time, I’ll be regular Braxton Fawn again and won’t need to wear a disguise.”
I didn’t like hearing her making plans to leave us, so I ignored the inevitable for another truth. “You were never ordinary. You lit up the universe, and that’s how we found you.”
“Pretty words, Morrow, but you didn’t find me. Oni did.”
My lips twisted in amusement as my hands slipped around from her hips to her panty-clad ass. “Semantics.”
She smiled softly. “Good night, Houston.”
As soon as she tried to escape, my lips found hers. I took the glass from her hands and set it on top of the fridge before deepening the kiss. Like every time we kissed, Braxton followed my lead, giving in and letting me take as much as I wanted. She was pliant when she wanted to be and only when it mattered.
“Let me stay with you tonight,” I said when I finally pulled away.
She stared up at me, contemplating whether or not to trust me. “I don’t know what’s happening,” she whispered so low I could barely make her words out despite how close we stood, “but whatever it is, I’d like to take it slow.” She suddenly looked wary as she waited for my response.
Nodding, I took a step back. “All right.”
Grabbing her glass from the top of the fridge, I handed it to her before turning away to leave. When she grabbed my hand to keep me from going, I paused.
“No sex,” she said.
I didn’t understand until she led me to her room and into her bed to sleep in my arms until morning came.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d slept this soundly. It definitely hadn’t been in the last two months. As I reluctantly came to, the warm body underneath me was the first clue that I wasn’t alone. The second was the morning wood poking my belly.
A king-size bed, complete with pillow-top mattress, and I’d chosen to sleep on top of a chest as hard as brick.
When my eyes finally chose to open, the last person I expected to see was Houston underneath me. I knew it was him because I recognized his nipple of all things.
It all came flooding back.
The wild goose chase I’d sent them on yesterday, and Houston worming his way into my bed. I was just grateful I kept my word and didn’t have sex with him. My motives hadn’t been entirely pure, though. Like me, he’d been having trouble sleeping, and I figured we’d have a better chance together than apart. I hated that I was right because it complicated feelings that were already complex.
I was staring at the fantastic view of New York that twenty-nine floors high offered when I felt Houston’s hand curve around my nape. I hadn’t realized he was awake the entire time I was brooding. Still, I let him pull my attention away from the panoramic windows and kiss me until I was fully awake.
I never thought Houston Morrow could ever make me feel like I was floating, but alas, here I was. I just wondered how soon before I came crashing down.
“Good morning,” he whispered against my lips. On stage, Houston had the kind of voice that altered the construct of your soul. It changed you. In bed and heavy with sleep, however, he had a different kind of effect. The kind that made you do things you knew you shouldn’t.
“Hey.”
He stared into my eyes for one long, breathless moment, and I could tell something was heavy on his mind. He didn’t leave me in suspense for long, and when he finally spoke the words that I never thought I’d hear, I was glad I was lying down for them.
“I’m sorry, Braxton.”
“For?” I didn’t care how weak he made my knees. I’d return the favor by not making whatever he hoped to achieve easy for him.
“For not realizing what I had before it was too late.”
I didn’t react mostly out of confusion. I became his guitarist, so he made me his enemy. He’d never given me the chance to be anything else.
“I’d like to start over,” he proposed when I chose to say nothing.
Frowning, I felt my heart race as I sat up a little. I couldn’t take this suspense any longer. I had to know what they were plotting, and I wanted it in plain terms. They’d alluded, they’d made hints, but never in a setting or in a way that I could take with a grain of salt.
“What’s going on, Houston?”
His gaze was stern as he held my eyes. “You know exactly what’s going on, Braxton Francesca.”
I should have never told them my middle name.
The coldness in my voice wasn’t forged when I spoke. I could be stern too. “Actually, I don’t. Why don’t you spell it out for me?”
I yelped when I was suddenly thrown on my back. Houston was on top of me now, holding me down with his weight. He made sure I couldn’t walk away from this conversation until he was ready to let me.
“I want you,” he said as easily as if we hadn’t spent the last six months warring.
“You had me.” I may not have gotten enough, but I was sure he’d gotten his fill. That goes for Loren and Rich too. Even with my past, I couldn’t believe I’d fucked all three of them.
Suddenly, I heard angry voices urging me to repent.
Houston squinted as he stared down at me. “Why do I think you’re purposefully misunderstanding everything that I’m saying?” I heard the warning in his tone not to push him. Naturally, that meant none of his buttons were safe.
“Because you’re still beating around the bush, and before you, my patience was never this thin.”
Houston blinked at me before groaning and burying his face in my neck. “I deserved that,” he mumbled as if it’d been up for debate. We lay there, listening to one another breathe for a while before he spoke again. “I’ve never done this before.”
“Done what?”
“Ask a girl to be with me.”
I stared at the ceiling, pretending my heart didn’t skip a beat. Houston was too used to having his desires handed to him. I wouldn’t be just another thing on a platter. “Boo-hoo.”
His head lifted from my neck, and when our gazes met, I was immersed in the warm and inviting scent of vanilla. For a third time, I was hit with an emotion I couldn’t define. Loren was first, then Rich, and finally Houston. He’d never looked so vulnerable. At least not while I’d known him. Lowering his head again, I met him halfway. This time when we kissed, it was a meeting of broken souls, each hoping our pieces fit to make something whole.
Between kisses, he finally whispered, “Be my girlfriend, Braxton Fawn.”
My head knew what to say. My heart was in my throat. I knew it was coming, and somehow, I was still unprepared. I wanted to say yes. I felt it on my tongue, overwhelmed by green apples. All I had to do was shut my mind away, and I’d be his. There was only one problem.
He was asking too much.
I couldn’t pretend Loren and Rich weren’t chasing me too.
I wanted them all equally, but I craved them for different reasons. Houston challenged me, Loren worshiped me, and Rich made me feel like I was worthy of redemption.
I didn’t want to give that up.