She drank her iced tea and sighed.

“How’s it going?”

She looked at me. “Is this a serious question? Are you really asking or just making conversation?”

“When have I ever just made conversation?”

“Okay.” Andrea sipped some tea. “Well, I’m mean, too harsh, and I rule the clan like an iron-fisted bitch.”

“Aha.” I had no idea how anyone could lead the bouda clan. They were all nuts.

“Last Tuesday Lora, Karen, Thomas, and the new kid, Kyle, were coming home from a bar where they tried to get drunk.”

Getting drunk for a shapeshifter was a losing proposition. Their metabolism treated alcohol as poison, which it was, and purged it as fast as it entered the bloodstream. Curran had to guzzle an entire bottle of vodka to get a buzz for fifteen minutes, and since he hated the taste, he stuck to beer instead.

“So the way back took these four geniuses by the College of Mages.”

Oh boy.

“The College of Mages happens to own a polar bear.”

Better and better. “How did they get a polar bear?”

“Apparently it wandered out of the woods near Macon and it was glowing at the time, and some mages happened to be on a field trip, so they apprehended the polar bear and brought him back to the college to figure out what his deal is. They built him a very nice enclosure.”

“Okay.” Typical post-Shift thing.

“The ladies wanted to see the polar bear and the two guys didn’t have the balls to say no, so they broke into the climate-controlled enclosure and then Lora decided to pet the bear, because it ‘liked her.’”

Our gyros arrived. She picked up her first one, bit off a small piece, and chewed with obvious pleasure. “Where was I?”

“Adventurous bear petting.”

“Yeah, well, the bear petted her back.”

I laughed in spite of myself.

“I can’t blame the bear.” Andrea opened her eyes wide. “If some whiskey-soaked hyena-smelling human came toward me while I was trying to nap in my nice house, I’d pet it too. With my claws.”

“Did the bear survive?”

“He survived. He was roughed up, the four of them bled all over the place trying to get the bear off Lora without hurting him, and of course, they got busted. They all got three weeks of Keep labor and that was too harsh and too mean. Never mind that I’ve got the College of Mages breathing down my neck about their bear being emotionally compromised and the Atlanta PAD wanting to file trespassing charges, but oh no, I was too harsh.” She stopped eating for a second. “Do you know what one of them told me? He said that Aunt B would’ve never been that hard on them. Aunt B! Can you believe that shit?”

“She would’ve pulled their legs out.” Aunt B hadn’t played around.

“Who is this kinder, gentler Aunt B that they remember? I was her beta. I know exactly what kind of punishment that woman doled out. Other than that, I’m the size of a house, I can’t even take a decent bite of my food or it will hurt, this kid is kicking me in the kidneys like a champ, and everyone else treats me like I’m made of glass.” She looked at me for a moment. “And every waking moment I’m terrified that my baby will go loup at birth, and when I’m asleep, I have nightmares about it.”

Both of Raphael’s brothers went loup. “You’ve been taking the panacea.”

“I know,” she said.

“You’re also beastkin. Your form is very steady. You aren’t usually in danger of going loup even when you are badly hurt.”

“I know.” She sighed. “I know, I know, I know. I just want it all to be okay. I want to give birth to my healthy baby and be happy.”

So did I.

“Your turn.” Andrea pointed her second gyro at me. “How’s it going? Not making conversation.”

I opened my mouth. Nothing came out. There was so much.

Andrea stopped eating. “What is it?”

I struggled with it.

“Kate, is it the wedding? If you don’t want to marry that jackass, you don’t have to marry him. Say the word, and the clan will come and get you and Julie. He might be a lion, but I have the whole hyena clan.”

“It’s complicated.”

She put her gyro down. “I’m listening.”

Her tone told me there would be no getting out of it.

So I told her about my dad and the crosses, the slap, the urge to crush him, snapping at Barabas, the witches, and watching Curran and my son die.

Andrea sat still for a long moment. “Well, that fucking sucks.”

“Yeah.”

“Can you kill Roland?”

“I’m not sure I want to.” And that came right out.

“Of course you don’t want to. He’s your father.”

I stared at her. She rubbed her stomach and grimaced. “The kid won’t settle down.”

“How can I not want to kill him? He’s evil, Andrea. He won’t stop until he grinds everyone under his boot. A city, a state, a country won’t be enough. He’ll keep going until his empire spans the whole planet. He tortures people. He’s been talking to Julie behind my back, trying to subvert her. Why am I having doubts? What is wrong with me?”

“He’s your father. He made you, Kate. He’s your link to your family, the only link you have. And he loves you in his own twisted way. I saw the way he looked at you when you claimed the city. He was practically bursting with pride. If you manage to stab him in the heart, he’ll be proud of you with his dying breath. Of course, you’re having doubts. You wouldn’t be human if you weren’t.”

“You’re not helping.”

“Did you expect me to sugarcoat it? I’m your best friend. I’m in the business of telling it like it is. He’s a horrible monster, but he loves you and he’s trying to be a decent dad. It’s just that normal people’s decent and his decent aren’t on the same planet. Can you even kill him? I mean, do you know how and are you able to physically do it?”

“No and probably not.” Judging by the storm today, I had a long way to go. “I’m not even sure I can use power words against him. They are the best I’ve got, and the last time I used one against something with magic similar to Roland, my brain nearly exploded.”