Magical Midlife Dating Page 54

“No. God no.” I rolled my eyes as Austin deposited her drink. “I need a break from all that. I don’t mind meeting new people and learning about them, but I’m not so much into the forced small talk and having the same date over and over—”

“What do you mean, having the same date over and over?” Austin asked, pointing at someone who’d just raised their hand to get a drink.

“Bud,” I heard.

“I got it,” Paul told Austin.

I tossed up my hands. “It’s always the same kind of date. Get picked up, check each other out, have dinner, get weird about the check, and maybe go for drinks. Or in my situation, bomb out and say goodbye and then have drinks with your buddy. Repeat. I could probably plan something more interesting, but then there’s that stigma about a girl being too pushy or bossy, so I just take their suggestions and… Boring. I suppose it’s my fault, but it’s still boring. I need a break. Maybe I’ll find someone naturally. Like someone who comes here.”

Sasquatch huffed, and I was pretty sure I heard, “Fat chance.”

“I could do better.” Austin flung a bar towel over his shoulder.

“That right?” I took a sip.

“Yes. I could take you on the perfect date.”

“There is no perfect date.”

“Each person has a perfect date. I bet I could figure out yours.”

“Be careful about accepting a wager on this one, Jessie,” Niamh said. “He’s had more than a little experience with the ladies.”

The sparkle in Austin’s eyes dulled as he turned away to get a drink.

“Damarion had a lot of experience with the ladies, and his idea of romance was a live dick pic, so…” I brushed my hair away from my face, grinning. I’d told Niamh that story, and she’d laughed for ten minutes solid before making me tell it again. She couldn’t believe even a guy as tone-deaf as Damarion had thought that display would work. Mr. Tom had been incredibly insulted.

“A hundred quid says you flunk out, Austin Steele,” Niamh said, digging in her pocket.

“That’s alpha now,” Sasquatch corrected.

“Why doncha bugger off, ye maggot. Yer as annoyin’—”

“I thought you said not to bet?” I asked, exasperated.

“I did. But then ye got me thinkin’. You don’t settle for second best, now do ya? An’ I don’t think he pays attention to women half so well as he thinks he does. A hundred quid.”

“I don’t think you guys saw how awkward it was to work with Damarion after it didn’t work with Damarion,” I replied. “Austin and I are magically stuck together at this point—dating would be awkward at best, and it would make things miserable at worst. No way. I can’t jeopardize our working relationship for a muscle show. I need his help—things cannot get awkward.”

“I didn’t mean a date-date. I meant a friend date,” Austin said, his eyes sparkling again, a challenge burning within them. He shrugged. “It’ll be harmless fun. But it will still be perfect. I’ll take that bet.”

“Okay, but…no. No bet. It’s not going to happen. I’ll turn even a friend date into a disaster.”

“A perfect date doesn’t end in disaster.” Austin’s pecs popped again, catching my eye. I ripped my gaze away and scowled at his smiling face. “Come on. Go out with me, Jess. I’ll buy you something nice with the winnings.”

Those teasing blue eyes caught my attention and held it. Fire sparked to life in my core and burned white-hot in a way it wouldn't for a friend. I didn’t mean to accept, and I certainly didn’t mean to do it in such a sultry whisper. “Okay.”

The same fire I felt deep within me flared to life in his hungry eyes.

Before I could come to my senses and back out of the whole thing, the bar quieted down around us. Warning flared within me—a predator had entered our midst.

“Jaysus, Mary, and Joseph,” Niamh said in a release of breath.

The basajaun stood just inside the door, having had to stoop and practically crawl to get in, I wagered. Thankfully, the bar had really high ceilings.

A weathered red baseball hat sat crookedly atop his head, much too small. Two braids traveled from his chin to his chest, containing his beard. A little jean vest clung to his shoulders, the edges frayed, and a flannel sweatshirt was tied around his waist.

“Is this lad trying to fit in, or somethin’?” Niamh asked, the only one speaking.

Cedric stood just to the side of the basajaun, his hands loose and his wings fluttering. My bodyguard this evening, he clearly wasn’t letting his fear of the large and slightly unhinged creature get the better of him. I assumed the two gargoyles who’d been guarding the outside of the bar had taken up positions near the door in case something happened.

“Alpha,” the basajaun said. “I ask leave to travel the hidden areas of your territory. In return, I will grant you the same courtesy within mine. A trade. Do you accept?”

Austin straightened up, his body tight again, although this time it was not a display. “A trade. I agree.”

The basajaun bent to a knee and bowed his head. Austin bent his head in return.

“Hi, Jessie,” the basajaun said in a loud whisper as he straightened up, offering me a little side wave. “It is me, the basajaun from the mountain. Remember me?”

My eyes had definitely rounded, I could feel it. I barely got in a nod. Dumb as rocks, absolutely.

“With the alpha’s leave, I am here to reap the rewards of our trade. The broken ankle, remember?”

I nodded again, thankful he seemed to think Ivy House flowers on the property different than me bringing him the same flowers. I was starting to suspect Mr. Tom was dead right about his intellect, and that was okay by me.

“Ivy House lands are not part of my territory,” Austin said, his voice hard. This was probably his professional face among very dangerous creatures. I was glad for it. I didn’t want to accidentally break some obscure basajaun rule and get my head spiked.

“Oh. Well, if it is all the same with you, I would like to keep the trade. Just in case I’d like to wander, you know.”

Austin nodded. “Don’t get seen, if you can help it.”

“Yes, of course.” The basajaun pulled out a bit of his sweatshirt, as though it was the key to staying undercover. He and Mr. Tom clearly went to the same spy school. To me he said, “We should meet up to spook a couple of hikers. Remember when we talked about that? You can shove them with a little magic, and I can allow them to see me for a moment.” He waved it away. “You are busy and I am late for my flowers. We will speak on it another time.”

The entire bar was dead silent in the basajaun’s wake. Mouths hung open, eyes remained wide, and someone had fainted.

“How’d he know my name?” I asked into the hush. “And who did he steal those clothes from?”

“See there?” Niamh looked over at Sasquatch. “He’s supposed to be hairy, and since he lives in the wild, he’s allowed to stink. Yer just takin’ the piss, you are. Ye got the hair and the stench without the benefits. Now don’t ye feel dumb? Maybe ye should wash once in a while.”

“How does anyone stand you?” he grumbled.

“They don’t. Which is why they don’t sit next to me. Ye certainly got brains to match his, I’ll give ye that.” Niamh took a sip of her cider. “Wanker.”

“How the hell are we going to hide his presence around town?” Austin muttered as he walked by.

I smiled and shook my head. God, my life was weird, but the people around me cared about my success and kept things interesting. Good or bad, dangerous or safe, weird or normal, I was choosing my own way, and it was about time.

Later that night, after I pretended I was going to the bathroom and instead ran out the back door of the bar so Niamh wouldn’t order me another drink, I made it home to Edgar screaming.

The gargoyles filed in around me immediately, not letting me into the house.

“It’s fine, it’s just Mr. Tom, Ulric, and Edgar in there,” I said, pushing through.

Those three stood at the back of the house near the kitchen, Mr. Tom shushing Edgar while Ulric looked on with concern.

“What is it?” I asked, running to them. “What happened?”

“We’ve been robbed!” Edgar screeched. “They’re gone. They’re all gone!”

“What’s gone?” I considered bracing my hand on his bony shoulder, then thought better of it. I swayed into Ulric. “Oops. Sorry, don’t mind me. The basajaun came into the bar, and he spoke to me like we were old buddies, and then everyone was awestruck and bought me drinks—it was cah-razy. Anyway, sorry, Edgar, this is your show. Why are you crying? I didn’t even know vampires could cry.”

“Why wouldn’t they be able to?” Ulric asked with a grin, his hand on my shoulder, stabilizing me.

“Shh, I’m good.” I removed his hand and drifted into Jasper, who’d just shown up on the scene. He still lived at the house, and I still meant to get to know him, but he was so quiet that I constantly forgot about him. If Mr. Tom was white noise, Jasper was a potted plant that had just shown up one day, never seemed to need water, and seemed content to be part of the scenery. He was the gargoyle equivalent of a succulent. “I don’t know, because water doesn’t flow out of their eyes or something? They don’t have emotion, maybe?”

“He’s got plenty of emotion,” Ulric whispered, back to focusing on a sobbing Edgar.

“He’s downright hysterical. What is the meaning of this, Edgar?” Mr. Tom demanded.

“We’ve been robbed, I tell you.” Edgar grabbed Mr. Tom by the lapels and started to drag him toward the back door to go outside to check out the cause of his hysteria.

“Unhand me, vampire! This is a freshly pressed suit.” Mr. Tom struggled out of his grasp.

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