Magical Midlife Madness Page 42
The polar bear that was Austin Steele looked around in obvious confusion. He reduced down into a man, holding out his hands to look at them. Touching his body. He glanced up, and that’s when Niamh noticed the windows. Every one of them pulsed blue, deep and steady.
Jessie had assumed the role of Ivy House master. For better or worse, she now held that magic within her.
Thirty-One
“Oh man, I feel great. Like I could run a mile super fast.” I ran through the passageways, trying to get a feel for the situation inside the house. I had to get out to the others, but wasn’t sure which exit to take. I didn’t know how to use the magic yet, so I wasn’t ready to fight my way out. I still had to sneak.
I glanced through one of the viewing areas. Two legs lay on the ground, the head clearly near the wall and out of sight. Not moving. “Gross.”
The next two rooms were empty.
The whole house felt empty. I wasn’t sure how that could be. I’d felt the presence of intruders right after I’d grabbed that crystal and felt the really annoying tickling sensation. I hated being tickled.
But now…
The first floor was clear, so I powered up the stairs without even breaking a sweat. Young me would’ve been grinning like a lunatic. Midlife me was wondering about the butcher’s bill. What had I just traded for the ability to take stairs in a single bound?
More “tackled” people upstairs. Many more. And then I figured out why.
“No! Oh my God, no. No!” I scurried back from the viewing orb and paused for a steadying moment.
The dolls were alive. And they were apparently every bit as much of a nightmare as I’d suspected, carrying knives and smeared or splattered red.
“No, no. I should’ve made a stipulation about the dolls!”
I ran down the stairs again, crossing from one passageway into another, instinctively knowing them like the back of my hand, and exited the house from the same back door I’d gone in. I closed it up tight. I didn’t want those horrible dolls to get out.
The night was so dense it felt solid. No stars sparkled in the suddenly moonless sky. No light at all permeated the backyard. Somehow, however, I could still see.
Austin—the human version—stood amid a bunch of prone figures, patting his body like he wasn’t sure it was real. Niamh and Edgar huddled together, talking. Other than that, the battlefield lay eerily silent. The fallen did not move. There were no battle cries or moans to be heard.
My stomach churned. I understood what that meant for the enemy. Niamh had been right—the odds had been just fine after all. My crew was, quite clearly, utterly sensational. Age, to us, meant nothing at all. We could still kick ass and take names.
Except…
Fear bled into me. Mr. Tom was nowhere to be found.
I looked skyward, wondering if he was doing a sweep of the house. A winged shape sailed through the inky darkness, his wings strong and sure, beating at the air. His movements almost lazy. He wasn’t checking anything out, at all. From the swooping zigzags to the dips and climbs, it was clear he was joyriding.
A breath I hadn’t known I was holding released.
Moving fast—because I could!—I ran over to Edgar and Niamh, needing to double-check the status of things. Then ran around them. Then hopped up and down. And tinkled myself a little.
“Damn it!” I balled up my fists. “I forgot to ask about not peeing myself in everyday situations! That’s crap. That should’ve been a given.”
Niamh turned to me slowly, annoyance on her face. She looked exactly the same as before.
“What’s the matter?” I asked hesitantly, wondering if I’d started celebrating too early.
She pointed at her chest. “I got the other tit back! What a load of hassle.”
I chanced a glance. Wished I hadn’t. “Yes…well, they are nice and perky. So you have that going for you.”
“Whoopdeedoo. What do I care if they are perky? They’re there. It’s annoyin’.”
“It seems we have not changed in our looks, but have regained our youth in our fighting abilities and overall health.” Edgar grinned, his chompers either a thing of beauty or really scary, depending on how one looked at it.
“Oh so…” I felt my face, unable to help a smile. “Me, too?”
“Yes, you, too,” Edgar said, his smile a thing of fright. “It seems you and Ivy House are on the same page. Congratulations, master.”
I felt my eyebrows pinch, wondering if he was telling a joke of some kind with the “master” bit, but I didn’t have a chance to ask. Austin strode up gracefully, his muscles playing across his big frame like a symphony. His gaze fell on me, traveling my face and then moving down my body.
“What do I look like?” he asked with some consternation.
“We all look the same,” Niamh said. “We just feel younger. Better luck next time if you wanted your looks back.”
“I have my looks back, I’m sure of it,” Edgar said with a gleaming, sharp-toothed smile.
“That’s because ugly suits you,” Niamh said.
“Why do I feel…” Austin flexed. Allll of him flexed, including his currently not-so-private bits.
Niamh flinched away and scowled. “Jaysus. That thing has its own time zone. Go get yer trousers and stow it away. Where are they? I’ll get them for ye.”
“Don’t leave me to explain…” Edgar watched in horror as Niamh walked away.
“Why do I feel…stronger?” Austin’s voice was rough. “Why am I faster?”
I spread my hands. “We all are.”
“Which makes sense, since you all are the masters or protectors of this house. You’re a part of it. I am not. Why am I reaping the benefits?”
Niamh was back in no time, tossing Austin’s sweats at him. “Because you made a show of protecting Jessie. You protected the house’s chosen with pure of heart, and so you are now a part of the house. You said you’d follow her. Well, you followed her. Be careful what you wish for.”
He turned to her, very slowly. The small hairs on my arms stood straight up.
“I said I would guard her. I did not say I wanted this magic.”
“I don’t understand. What’s the problem?” I asked. “The magic helps you.”
He stared down at me, slightly leaning. His huge hands were balled and muscle popped out all over his body. Power seethed from him. It crawled up my back and threatened to bow my spine. Holding his gaze was physically painful. Nearly impossible.
But I didn’t look away.
“I said I would help you. But I did not say I would enter into…” He gestured around me. “…this. I don’t need this magic. I don’t need a fountain of youth. I don’t need this trap.”
“Then you shouldn’t have put yourself in it,” Niamh said, nonchalant. “This isn’t Jessie’s fault. It’s yours. If you’re too dumb to see that, well then…”
I sensed action before it came.
A solid wall of pink manifested between Austin and Niamh. I was pretty sure I’d made that happen (I’d always liked pink), but I had no idea how. Austin’s hand jutted toward it, open to grab, and glanced off. He pulled back slowly, as though it cost him great effort, and pushed it down to his side.
He exhaled, and I could feel why. Again, no idea how. His rage was trying to burst him at the seams. The darkness inside of him was trying to lash out, to combat this perceived slight. To combat the fear he wouldn’t show.
I didn’t know what was happening here, with either of us, but I knew he was horribly unsettled. He hadn’t signed up to protect the house, he’d signed up to protect me, and somehow the wires had gotten crossed. He felt betrayed. His world had just been turned upside down, and he didn’t know how to handle it.
I couldn't say I blamed him. I’d entered into this bargain, not him. It seemed he was a spectator who’d gotten sucked into the turmoil.
“Go,” I said, laying my hand on his arm. He flinched and I withdrew my touch. “Go,” I repeated. “I don’t know what’s happening, but I’ll figure it out, and then I’ll figure out how to set you free, okay? There has to be a way.”
His gaze connected with mine and held it for a long moment. His sigh was soft, and his nod was slight.
A moment later, an enormous polar bear was running across the garden, trampling flowers. I suspected that was on purpose. I knew it was on purpose when he barreled through the edge of the labyrinth and fought his way out of the other side, tearing a big runway down the middle.
“That is completely uncalled for,” Edgar said. “I didn’t mess up his cabin, now did I?”
Niamh waved it away. “He wanted a new challenge in his life, he just hasn’t admitted it to himself yet. Give him time. He’ll come around. Come on. We have some serious cleanup to do.”
“I’ll go start digging graves,” Edgar said, then poofed into a swarm of insects.
“Blech!” I stumbled backward. “Gross.”
“It’s fine, he won’t run into you.” Niamh headed for the back door.
“No, no. There’s a doll infestation in there. Let’s stay at your house tonight.”
Thirty-Two
Niamh wasn’t any more lenient in my terror of dolls than she had been with Austin. After much name calling and comments regarding my hysterics, we’d worked together to march the dolls back into their room of horror.
And when I say worked together, I mean that I hid behind her and let her talk me through controlling them (to some degree). No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to make them self-destruct. It was a design flaw, I was positive.
With the dolls locked in their room, it was time to set the house to rights. Which was gross on so many levels.
The dolls had done their fair share of carnage—which would give me nightmares for the rest of my life—and the house had taken care of the rest, spraying them with darts, dropping chandeliers on them, and disposing of them in a number of other nerve-wracking ways. The body armor of the wraith had been found, though apparently those creatures couldn’t be killed in a traditional way. It was probably the only thing that had escaped. I was supposed to be able to control this stuff, somehow, but realistically I just wondered if it was going to turn on me.