The best part of the entire shopping experience is our stop in the kitschy little store that sells memorabilia inspired by TV shows and movies. “Let’s see if they have It’s My Life stuff!” I thread my arm through Emme’s and drag her inside. I don’t even check to see if Dax follows.

I head straight for the posters. They have lots of old movie ones but nothing from Dax’s show, so I move on to the T-shirts, rummaging around in the last-chance rack, because sometimes they have great finds. “Oh my God!” I shriek when I find the one shirt I’ve been dying to own since forever, and it’s on sale. “Look at this!” I hold up the It’s My Life T-shirt and then hug it to my chest. It features Dax in a Tiger Beat–style pose, wearing his signature smirk with #1 Dustin Fan in bright yellow letters.

The teenager behind the cash register barely spares me a glance, and Emme looks at me like I’ve gone crazy. Dax is standing with his arms crossed over his chest, wearing pretty much the same expression as he is on the shirt. It’s a small, but I’ll squeeze my chest into it.

“This is a classic! Season two, episode seven. Best hair episode in the entire season, maybe the whole show! I’m so getting this! Oh! I wonder if they have anything else. Excuse me,” I call to the kid at the register. “Do you have any more It’s My Life stuff?”

He’s busy texting, so it takes several seconds before he finds the will to lift his eyes from the screen and shrug. “Uh, maybe in the clearance section?”

“I’m sure anything you find in here will be in the basement at my house,” Dax mutters.

“But this is way more fun than going through boxes in a basement!” I practically skip my way over to the clearance bin and rummage around while Emme tries on weird hats. I find a chipped mug with Dax on it that matches my new shirt, a bobblehead, and a keychain.

Impressed with my haul, I head for the checkout.

Dax gives me a look. “What’re you doing?”

“Buying treasures.” I dump my armload on the counter.

Dax picks up the mug. “Don’t buy this. It’s broken.”

I grab it from him and hug it to my chest. “It’s chipped, which is not the same. And it matches my new shirt, so I need it.”

“Don’t you already have a mug with my face on it?”

“That’s my Monday mug. This can be my rest of the week mug.” The truth is, I have a couple other mugs at home, but he doesn’t need to know that. I only have the one at work. A backup is always a good idea.

By the time we’re done shopping, it’s after four.

“Can you come over for dinner? Dax, Kailyn should totally come for dinner, right? We can order takeout or something. Please?” Emme hangs off her brother’s arm.

“We’ve monopolized Kailyn’s entire day already. She might have plans tonight.”

Emme frowns, as if the thought displeases her. “Do you have plans?”

I laugh, almost embarrassed that my social life is so lackluster. “Uh, no, no plans.”

“So you can come have dinner with us. We can hang out in our new pajamas and play video games or watch a movie.”

She looks so hopeful, and so does Dax.

How can I say no?

chapter fifteen

JUST DANCE

Dax

Emme insists that she ride with Kailyn on the way home, and the moment we’re in the door, she drags her upstairs to change into the matching pajama pants from the store I wasn’t allowed to go in. Not that I want to underwear shop with my sister. Kailyn on the other hand . . .

This thing with Kailyn is starting to feel a lot bigger than I intended, and pushing for more with her could backfire badly. But I’m selfish enough to try, because I want her in my life as much as Emme wants her in hers.

I pop the cap on a beer and take a long swig while I order pizza. I have bottles of root beer for Emme so she feels grown up, and I have options for Kailyn, depending on what she’s in the mood for.

A few minutes later the sound of feminine giggles filters down the stairs. It’s Emme’s laugh mixed with Kailyn’s. They appear in the doorway of the kitchen, both wearing black pajama pants with a cherry and pie cartoon print on them. I’m sure the innuendo is way over Emme’s head, but it sure as hell isn’t over mine. And Kailyn is wearing the It’s My Life shirt. It’s meant for a teenage body, so it conforms to all of her curves, which I don’t mind at all.

While we wait for dinner to arrive, Kailyn and Emme have a Just Dance dance off. It’s insanely entertaining, in part because Kailyn can dance, and watching her keep up with the moves is actually rather enthralling. Her laugh is infectious and Emme’s smile is radiant. I think it’s the happiest she’s been in the weeks since our parents passed, and it gives me hope that eventually we’ll both be okay.

When the pizza comes Emme is super obvious about making sure Kailyn and I sit next to each other. She picks a movie—a romantic comedy—which is the opposite of what she normally watches. Emme like films with action, more specifically anything to do with Harry Potter, or DC or Marvel Comics.

Halfway through the movie Emme yawns and stretches, making a big show of being tired. She gives Kailyn a hug, thanks her for coming shopping, and disappears upstairs, leaving us alone together.

“Well, that wasn’t subtle at all.”

Kailyn smiles. “Thirteen and subtle don’t really go hand in hand, do they?”

“Apparently not.” I’ve been waiting all day for some alone time, and now all I am is nervous, the weight of what I want and what it could change making my throat tight. “We don’t have to watch this anymore.” I turn off the movie as the onscreen kiss happens, ratcheting up the awkward a notch.

Kailyn smiles, but I can’t read her expression. “I bet Emme knew that was coming and that’s why she disappeared.”

“I’m sorry about that.” I motion to the ceiling, not needing to be any more explicit.

“You don’t need to apologize. I think it’s cute. The most important part is that she had a good time today and she’s happy.”

I adjust my position so I’m facing her, grateful that Emme forced me into the middle cushion so I’m already close. “I’m glad you could come. It was only good because of you.”

I close my eyes, aware I’ve taken it from light to intense with one stupid admission.

Her fingertips brush along my knuckles, gentle, soft. “Don’t sell yourself short, Dax. You’re the reason Emme is happy.”

“It wouldn’t have been the same if it were only her and me.” I flip my hand over, watching her fingers drag along the center of my palm. “I don’t think I would’ve survived the underwear shopping, that’s for sure.”

Kailyn laughs. “Well, I’m reaping the benefits of that, aren’t I?” She motions to her new pajama pants. “I’m not here out of empathy. You know that, right?”

“I come with a lot of baggage, though. I get that it makes this complicated.” Shit. This is not how I meant for this conversation to go. I’m aware it’s necessary since it’s more than just me I’m putting at risk.

“It’s not the baggage that scares me, Dax.” Kailyn curls the ends of her fingers around mine. “My biggest concern is confusing Emme, so I think it’s important that we present as platonic when we’re with her.”

“I understand.” I try not to let the disappointment show. Maybe I don’t live up to the idea she had of me, or it’s too much to take on.

“But when she isn’t.” Kailyn bites her lip, and her throat bobs with a heavy swallow. “Maybe we could enjoy more of each other.”

The heavy feeling in my gut eases up a little. Is she saying what I think she is? Please let me be reading this situation right. “Enjoy each other, as in . . .”

She gives me a look that’s half-patronized, half-embarrassed. “I think you know where I’m going with this, Dax.”

I arch a brow. “Are you giving me permission to get all up in your space for reasons other than being a confrontational dick?”

She laughs again, and the sound is as sweet as it is sexy. Kailyn is such an interesting contradiction of a woman. In her career she’s driven, sure, and focused, but when we’re close like this, she seems shy and uncertain. Her smile turns coy. “And if I was?”

“I’d take full advantage of that every single chance I got, starting now.” I trace the edge of her jaw with a fingertip, aware there’s more to this conversation, but for now it will have to wait.

Kailyn tips her chin up, eyes on mine as I lean in and touch my lips to hers. She lets me lead, our tongues tangling as I sweep her mouth, slowly at first, until gentleness dissolves into desire.

Kailyn’s hands are in my hair and then ease down my neck to grip my shoulders as I rearrange us on the couch. I edge a knee between her legs and lay her back, stretching out over her. Soft, warm skin meets my palm when I find my way under the hem of her shirt.

She makes the silkiest sound, a hum and a moan fused together as we kiss and grope and grind, getting lost in the newness of each other. A thump from upstairs has us on opposite ends of the couch in a hot second.