Maybe he is into his date?

What the hell is wrong with me? He makes me act and feel like an errant, indecisive teenager.

With a heavy exhale, I make my way back to the table. "What's this?" Duke asks as I put the two cocktails down.

"Dirty Martini." I smile.

Duke takes a sip, and I watch him for a moment as guilt rolls around in my heart. "You're a really great guy, Duke."

He smiles sadly. "But…"

"But we both know that this is our last date."

His gaze drops to his glass. "If it's our last date, can we at least make worth it?"

My eyes hold his. "No, baby." I take his hand over the table. "No more lovemaking. No more dates. No more booty calls. Just fond memories from here on in."

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you, too." I squeeze his hand in mine. "Hey, but it was fun, right?"

He smiles sadly and nods. "I don’t know what you're looking for, babe, but I hope you find him."

My eyes fill with tears, and it's unexpected.

I don’t know what I'm looking for, either, but I don’t think I'll ever find him.

Because someone who can make me feel whole again doesn’t exist.

Duke begins to chatter on and talk about his day, but my mind is far away.

How did I get like this? So cold and detached.

My ex-husband has a lot to answer for.

It's not that he slept with someone else. It's not about the infidelity.

Far from it.

Something in my DNA changed that day, it altered who I was as a person.

And I miss her.

I'm feeling over emotional and teary-eyed. I need to pull myself together. I just need to get through dinner, and then I can fall apart when I get home.

"I'm just going to the bathroom."

I walk down the corridor at the side of the restaurant and into the bathroom. It’s a single cubicle with its own basin and mirror. I wash my hands and stare at my reflection in the mirror. I feel fragile.

My eyes well with tears. God, April, pull yourself together.

What's wrong with me? I'm never teary.

The door handle turns, telling me that someone else is waiting to use the restroom. "Just a minute!" I call.

I wipe the makeup from under my eyes, and I pinch my cheeks and shake my hands before I exhale heavily and open the door.

Sebastian's big brown eyes meet mine.

He steps into the bathroom, forcing me back, and he closes the door behind him.

Without a word, he takes my face in his hands and kisses me. His lips are soft, his intent is strong, and I screw up my face against his.

His tongue dances against mine.

"I couldn’t go home without kissing you," he whispers against my lips.

And I feel it for the first time in forever.

I feel it to my toes.

Please, God, don't let it be him.

14

April

He kisses me deeper this time, and I melt into him as his tongue dances seductively against mine. We lose control, and he slams me up against the wall. My hands go to his hair while his hands go to my behind and he grinds me onto his hard, waiting cock.

This is bad.

Real, bad.

I'm here with another man.

I step back and pull out of his grip "Stop it," I pant.

"You want me."

"N-not like this," I stammer.

He grabs me again and kisses me hard. My sex clenches in appreciation. Fuck, I love his dominance. Nobody takes control of my body like Sebastian Garcia.

I had forgotten what he was like.

"Sebastian," I whimper into his mouth as an ache of submission begins to throb between my legs.

"My place," he pants, and I know he's losing it, too. He slams me harder against the wall, lifting my leg around his hip. "I fucking need you." His lips go to my neck and he bites me hard. “You’re all I can think about.”

My head tips back as goosebumps scatter up my spine.

I'm making out with someone in the bathroom while on a date with someone else. I am a dirty whore.

But worse than that, I'm being a dirty whore with a bastard.

"Stop it," I whisper angrily.

I turn and open the door in a rush.

He grabs my arm and pulls me back toward him. "I need to see you. Tonight." He kisses me again. "Don’t leave me in this state."

"Sebastian." I pull out of his grip once more. "Get it through your head… I'm not going there with you again."

God… I want to.

In one quick movement, he reaches down and puts his hand up my dress and through the side of my panties. He slides his fingertips through my sex.

He smiles darkly when he finds the evidence he was searching for. "Dripping wet, baby girl."

He rubs his thumb back and forth over my clitoris, and I shudder.

He grabs my face and puts his mouth to my ear. "Don’t tell me you don’t want me." He slides three thick fingers deep into my sex, and I whimper, the grip on my face near painful. "We will fuck again, April." He licks up the side of my face. "Mark my words." His fingers pump me hard. "You're going to be naked, wet, and full of my fucking come."

He bites my bottom lip and then pushes off me. He opens the door and leaves in a rush.

I fall back against the wall and look up at the ceiling.

Hell.

My heart is racing, I'm gasping for air.

And, oh boy, I need to be fucked.

I close my eyes, feeling my pulse throughout my entire body. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

I wash my hands and try to pull myself together.

Now I have to go back out there to Duke.

I'm such as asshole.

I rush back to the table and sit down. "I don’t feel so well."

Dukes face falls. "You okay?"

"Not really." I just need this night over with. "I'm so sorry. Do you mind if we just go home? I feel like I may throw up," I lie.

"Sure thing," Duke says. "Come on, you'll be okay." He puts his arm around me and leads me up the hall toward the exit. We walk back out into the restaurant and though to the cashier.

While Duke pays the bill, I glance over to see Sebastian's furious eyes holding mine.

Fuck.

I'm still thumping with arousal. Everything inside me is screaming for his body. Duke turns to me. "You ready?"