The plan was for Molly to come out at some point and flirt with me. It wasn’t going to be anything too crazy, just something to ruffle Julia’s feathers.

But the plan hadn’t been going according to schedule because Molly was taking her sweet-ass time. I didn’t know what the fuck she was doing in her room—masturbating to her Hulu show or what—but she hadn’t made an appearance yet.

I looked up from typing on my laptop to notice Julia looking at me. Caught in the act, she turned away. Perfect. Now if only Molly could get her act together so we could stir the pot.

“You said your roommate is home, right?”

“Yeah. You wouldn’t know it though, would ya? She’s pretty quiet.”

“True. I don’t hear a peep. You think she’s not happy that I’m here? Are we disturbing her?”

“No. I don’t think so. I think she might have fallen asleep.”

That was the only explanation that made sense.

I pretended to need something from the fridge, and instead texted Molly on the down-low.

Declan: Are you coming out sometime tonight?

The three dots moved around as she typed.

Molly: I’m having some technical difficulties.

Declan: What are you talking about?

Molly: I was trying out these new lashes, and I got glue stuck in my left eye. I can hardly open it.

Declan: What made you decide to do that tonight?

Molly: I wanted to sex it up…for our performance.

Declan: So you glued your eye shut? The one-eyed look is so damn sexy, Mollz. Truly.

Molly: Shut up. This is all your fault.

The funniest visual of Molly walking out of her room with a patch covering one eye popped into my head. But that quickly morphed into her wearing a wench’s costume—with one of those cinched-waist things that laced up and covered her rib cage. It would stop just below the swell of her breasts, making her tits practically spill over from her top.

I’d been staring at my phone, lost in some ridiculous fantasy, and hadn’t heard Julia walk into the kitchen.

“Who are you texting over there?” she asked. “You have the dirtiest smirk on your face.”

Shit. “I, uh, my sister.” I closed my eyes, silently cursing myself and my dumbass answer. Great, now she probably thinks I’m freaking creepy. “She was, uh…” I attempted to iron out the wrinkles. “She’s trying to fix me up with one of her friends.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, with four sisters, it’s a pretty common occurrence.”

“Are you…going to go out with the woman?”

I shook my head. “I learned my lesson a long time ago. Keep your love life as far away from your sisters as possible. The last time I let one of them set me up, I wound up on a date with a woman who loved cats.”

“So? Are you allergic or something?”

“No. But she picked me up in her car, and when I got in, I realized just how much she loved her cats. Six of them were in the backseat.”

“She brought her cats on your date?”

I nodded. “Said they got lonely at home, liked to go for car rides, and were a good judge of character.”

“That’s a little bizarre. Did the cats approve of your character, at least?”

“One leaped into the front seat while we were on our way to the restaurant and threw up all over my pants.”

Julia laughed. “Oh my God. You mean they weren’t even in carrying cages? What did you do?”

“She drove me back home so I could get changed, and I feigned a headache. But that’s not even the worst part.”

“It’s not?”

I shook my head. “My sister didn’t talk to me for a month because her friend told her I wasn’t nice to her cats. She was convinced I’d made them nervous, and that’s why one threw up on me.”

My phone buzzed in my hand. Julia looked down at it. “I’ll let you finish letting your sister down easy. I was just coming to ask if you had any wine.”

“I think Molly does. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if we had some. I’ll pour you a glass and be right in.”

After Julia went back to the living room, I texted Molly again.

Declan: Are you okay? Do you need me to get you an eyewash or something?

Molly: No, I’ll be fine. I just need a few minutes for the stinging to subside so I can try to glue these on again.

Declan: Forget the eyelashes. You don’t need ’em. Your eyes are pretty without any makeup at all.

Molly: That’s sweet. But I don’t have a choice at this point. I have one on, and I can’t get the damn thing off! I’ll be out soon.

I chuckled as I typed.

Declan: Aye, aye, Captain.

I didn’t think she’d get my humor, but she texted back right away.

Molly: Ha ha. I’ll be out to see ye wench shortly.

Ten minutes later, Molly finally emerged from her room. I’d decided to join Julia in a glass of wine and was mid-sip when I caught sight of my roomie. Unfortunately, I hadn’t been prepared for what she was going to look like. I swallowed down the wrong pipe and started coughing, and I inadvertently sprayed wine all over Julia.