Playing for Keeps Page 31

“What’s up?”

“That stuff you said about her not dating…”

His eyes narrow. “What about it?”

I shrug, trying to act casual while my heartrate accelerates. This is it. This is my moment. No backing down now. Just fucking spit it out, Brady. “What if I wanted to date her?”

His eyes are narrowed on mine, and the grip he has on his water bottle is making his knuckles turn white. A shocked expression crosses his face, eyes widening. “You? You don’t date, you fuck around, so no. I’m not giving you my blessing to fuck my sister over.” His shakes his head, as if clearing away the thought of it, as if it’s the most absurd thing he’s ever heard.

We stand there a moment longer, him, looking at me like I’ve suddenly grown two heads.

“Yeah, well maybe that’s all behind me. Maybe I’m ready for a good girl. There’s no one better than Elise, you said so yourself.”

He shakes his head again, lips pressing into a line. “Don’t make me kick your ass, Brady. You know my sister is off-limits.”

“I know she’s your sister, but seriously, Owen, think about it. She’s going to start dating again at some point.”

“Is this your idea of a joke? I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you,” Owen says, gaze narrowed.

I know something was wrong with me. I just can’t tell my best friend what it is.

He’s right though. Something inside me had changed. Ever since I thought I had a kid on the way, all the locker room talk has gone stale. This entire lifestyle has grown stale. Actually, that’s a lie. I still love playing hockey, and hope to continue doing so professionally for at least another ten years if I can. Hell, maybe I’d even coach after that. What I had grown tired of was the constant female attention and meaningless sex. And before you revoke my man card—first let me explain.

As good as the release of endorphins felt, as nice as physical pleasure was, there was something about it that bothered me immensely. It was the fact that the ladies who threw themselves at the players on my team would have been just as happy to land in any of our beds.

I wasn’t special. I just happened to wear a jersey that afforded me a lot of attention.

“Brady?” he asks, interrupting my thoughts. “What the fuck, man?”

I shrug, trying to keep my tone casual. “Not a joke. I just wondered how you’d feel if I asked her out.”

The vein in his neck throbs and he looks like he wants to hit something. That something most likely being me.

He might think this conversation was coming out of left field, but lately, more and more, I wanted something, someone that was just for me. I knew it was kinda fucking weird coming from the guy who’s been the king of hookups for the better part of the last decade. I’m not going to hide from the fact that I’ve had a lot of sex. That’s part of my history. And plus, I’m holding out hope that the girl I end up with might appreciate the fact that I know what I’m doing in bed.

I still wasn’t sure that girl would be Elise. Partly because I knew she was too good for me, and partly because I recognized that my friendship with her brother was going to be an obstacle. Still, I had to hold onto some hope, because I’d never felt about anyone the way I feel about her.

Owen releases a slow, strained sigh. “First, you and I both know there’s not a chance in hell you’re actually interested in Elise, or any good girl for that matter, because you’ve said time and time again you’re never going to get married or have a family because of how fucked up your parents’ marriage was.”

I swallow a lump the size of a hockey puck. “Right. I know. I just, never mind.”

“Second,” he continues. “It would complicate the fuck out of things between us. Is that really something you want to risk?”

I clench my hands into fists at my sides, and nod. “No, and you’re right. I get it. I really do.”

Owen scoffs, muttering something under his breath as he strolls away.

Well that went fucking horribly.


25

* * *


Messy, Inconvenient Feelings


Elise

“Most guys suck at oral,” Sara says, running a finger along her frosty pint glass. “That’s just a fact of life.”

“Bull-shit,” Teddy scoffs, drawing out the word in lazy disbelief.

Becca chuckles quietly from the other side of the table. Justin and Owen are here too.

We’re all out for a drink after the game—unfortunately the guys lost this one three to one—and were outplayed from the start. Even my normally cheerful brother is a little more somber than usual. Though I have a feeling the alcohol and Sara’s taunting stories will help get their mind off the loss.

“I happen to know for a fact that I’m amazing with my tongue,” Owen says, smirking into his glass.

“Gross.” I roll my eyes at him. Let’s file that under Stuff I Do Not Want to Know About My Brother.

He shrugs. “What? I’ve never had an unhappy customer.”

Sara leans forward, placing her elbows on the table. “And that’s just it, you jackass, girls won’t tell you that you suck. They don’t want to damage your fragile ego.” She makes air-quotes as she says this. “They’d rather fake an orgasm to get you to stop tongue-lashing their lady bits than set you straight.”

I chuckle into my wineglass. When Sara’s on a roll—look out. And tonight she’s in rare form. God, I love her.

“Is that true?” Owen asks, looking to Becca with a slight panic in his eyes.

I know what he’s thinking—the fact that they’re close means she wouldn’t lie to him, but the thing is, I doubt she’s in much of a position to offer an opinion. Becca’s lack of sex life has been a frequent conversation of ours. I never thought much of it—I thought she was just being choosy—but lately I’m starting to wonder if there’s more to it, and if it’s related to the sexual assault that she swears she’s past.

Owen seems to realize his mistake as Becca shrugs, her wide blue eyes on his reminiscent of a deer caught in headlights.

Sara and Teddy continue to debate on the finer points of what makes for good cunnilingus while the rest of us chuckle quietly.

My cheeks feel a little warm as Sara argues with my brother and Teddy.

Justin is seated across from me, right next to Owen, and I can feel his eyes on me the entire time. It’s unnerving because I have no idea what he’s thinking about.

Justin stays decidedly quiet during the entire debate, and I think I know exactly why that is. Unlike my brother and Teddy who rush to defend themselves, Justin doesn’t need to. He knows he’s good at it. Not just good, he’s freaking spectacular. And I know for a fact there’s no way I’d even consider faking an orgasm with him. He wouldn’t stand for it. He’s not satisfied until I’ve had at least two or three. And he’d be able to tell if it wasn’t the body-quaking, breath-stealing real thing.

“And what about giving head?” Teddy asks, voice a little too loud. I’m worried the other patrons sitting nearby are getting an earful. I place my finger over my lips as I give him a pointed stare. “Why the double standard?” he asks, lowering his voice. “Don’t you think it’s only fair women should know what they’re doing?”

Sara calmly takes a sip of her beer, thinking. She’s an attorney, so I know she’s going to win this debate, but part of the fun is I never know what’s going to come flying out of her mouth next. “Don’t kid yourself. Men are just happy to have their cock out—I could slap it around randomly and you wouldn’t complain.”

He swallows, his throat visibly bobbing. “Truth.”

He and Owen share a fist bump across the table.

We all laugh. My eyes wander to Justin and even he has cracked a smile. He’s seemed too serious tonight. I’m not sure if it’s the loss to the Spartans that has him feeling down, but at least this topic has seemed to lighten everyone’s mood. Sara is kind of genius like that. Well, everyone except for Becca. I suddenly feel a little guilty.

“Let’s get one more round,” I suggest. “And Becca can fill us all in on the latest team gossip.”

She smiles warmly at me, obviously thankful for the change in topic, and my heart squeezes a little.

? ? ?

At the end of the night Becca and I share a ride home, Sara takes a separate Uber and the guys stay behind. I have no doubts that Owen and Teddy will seek consolation for losing the game in the arms of a willing puck bunny, but Justin is a wildcard. It’s not that I think he’d hook up with anyone else, I trust his exclusivity pact, it’s that I don’t know if he’ll try to sneak away from the guys tonight to come and see me, or opt to hang with his buddies. I’m trying not to feel disappointed either way.

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