“We’re trying to reach her. I’m sure she’ll pick up soon.”

“Yeah,” Reign added in a cheerful tone. “It’s the weekend. People are not exactly sitting around staring at their phones.”

“She’s going to come.” Easton patted my hand.

“On your face. Many times. You’ll see. Chicks love it when you take a punch for them. You almost died for her,” Reign pointed out. “That’s worth at least a couple blowjobs, right?”

I closed my eyes, falling asleep, wishing I’d never wake up.

West

The next time I woke up it was late evening.

My parents were in the room, their silhouettes wrapped together, engulfed by the darkness. They stood by the window, embracing each other, exactly as I saw them on the snow the morning Aubrey had died.

The familiar lump in my throat thickened. For a moment, I was tempted to pretend I was still asleep. But if Grace Shaw taught me one thing about this world, it was that running away from your issues was a bad idea, and it always came back, biting you in the ass.

I righted myself on the hospital bed, making a show of clearing my throat.

They turned around simultaneously. Mom didn’t gasp or cry. Her eyes traced my face like fingers, touching me softly. Dad—who looked a decade older than he had the last time I saw him almost five years ago—flinched, like he was the one who’d taken Appleton’s blows.

“Son.”

One word, and it sounded like it came from the bottom of the ocean, echoing everywhere in my body.

My parents looked worn-out—and had lost about twenty pounds between them. I barely recognized them, and yet I recognized that I was a huge part of why they were the way they were.

Dad was the first to rush toward me. He leaned over the hospital bed, his whole body brushing mine, giving me the gentlest, least touchy hug I’d ever received. We hadn’t hugged in half a decade.

“You can go ham, Pops. It’s your one and only chance at a hug I can’t escape,” I muttered. I felt his warm body quaking against mine as he tightened his grip. He was laughing and crying at the same time. When he stood up and stepped away, it was Mom’s turn.

I ran my eyes over both of them, flashing them a crooked grin.

“Got all worried when I didn’t send money this week, huh?”

It was so shitty and yet so classic me to say something like that. Neither of them winced or apologized. Mom’s eyes were hard on mine. Something had changed since the last time she saw me. I saw in her expression more of the mom she was before Aubrey died. Determination lit her eyes, coupled with a promise to give me hell if I misbehaved.

“We’re here to tell you we’re not going to let you kill yourself over what happened to Aubrey. We get that you are upset. We are upset, too. We’ll always be upset. We’ve lost our darling girl. But by God, West Camden St. Claire, we are not going to lose another child. Not to grief. Not to guilt. Not to anything. Ever again. You will outlive us, and you are going to goddamn enjoy it.”

Her spine straightened, and she looked me in the eye with a ferocity that gave me fucking chills.

“I hate myself.” The admission fell from my lips with a croak. “A whole fucking lot. And I don’t see how you don’t.”

“It is not your fault.” Dad took my hand. I looked away. The possibility of crying was getting too real to risk eye contact. “Even if it was—we’d still love you, still forgive you. Could you have done things differently? Yes. But you didn’t. You did not commit a crime, West. The consequences of your bad decisions just happened to be exceptionally tragic.”

“I broke my promise to Aub.”

“We all break our promises sometimes.” Mom took my other hand, and now I had nowhere to look, because my parents were everywhere. I could no longer avoid them. Ghost them. Dodge them. Pretend I could silence them with a check.

“It was never about the money.” A warm tear fell from Dad’s face onto my arm. “We never wanted you to pay our way out of this thing. At first, we thought maybe it was your own way to deal with the grief, to quiet the demons. By the time we knew better, it was too late. You were far away, and we didn’t know how to find our way back to you.”

“We were a mess,” Mom interjected. I turned to look at her. She was crying, too. “The period we went through right after Aubrey’s death—”

“You had every right,” I interrupted, my voice thick with emotion.

Don’t cry. Don’t you dare fucking cry.

It had been so long since I’d let myself feel, that I wasn’t sure I could even if I wanted to.

“No. We had no right, Westie. We still had you to think about, to take care of. Instead of considering the consequences, we let ourselves slip into depression.”

“You don’t slip into depression. It grabs you by the foot like Pennywise and drags you down a deep, dark sewer full of shit. Depression is never your fault. So don’t apologize for that.”

I couldn’t hold it any longer. My eyes and nose burned, and a hot tear slid down my cheek. I wiped it with my palm quickly.

“We love you, Westie.” Mom dropped her head, burying it in my shoulder. “We love you so, so much. We never wanted the money. We just wanted to talk to you. We want our son back, and we refuse to get a dime from you from this point forward. When Easton told us what you’ve been doing to help us pay our loans, you know what I did?” she asked.

Quickly disowned your son for being so goddamn stupid?

“I slapped Easton in the face for never telling us. For never warning us. You’ve been risking your life every Friday to help us. Please forgive me for not knowing what you went through in the last five years.” She grabbed my cheeks in her palms. It hurt like hell, but now wasn’t the time to point it out. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but I’m willing to work hard to show you what it means to me.”

Another traitorous tear rolled down my cheek.

I opened my mouth and said the two most liberating words in the English language.

“You’re forgiven.”

Grace

The sun had dipped below the tall trees by the time I parked my pickup at the hospital parking lot, and it was almost completely dark. The traffic was insane, there had been two car accidents on the way, and most of the roads were blocked due to festivals. Each moment away from West sent me into the arms of despair, and I was so sick with worry, all anxiety about Grandma Savvy’s first day at Heartland Gardens had magically disappeared.

West was awake when I got there.

Tess was the first to greet me, throwing her arms over my shoulders. “Grace! I’m so glad you’re here. He just woke up.” I patted her back awkwardly, shell-shocked. There was something weird about being on good terms with her again after everything that went down, but if I’d learned one thing from the moment I met West, it was that even though forgiveness is the underdog in the battle of feelings, it should always win.

Easton and Reign were plopped on a narrow seat outside West’s room, napping in positions that couldn’t be comfortable. Tess took a step back, scanning me. “Easton said he asked about you.”