The next best thing.

Gus throws his head back and hoots, slapping the table.

“Penn Scully and Adriana are, like, damn serious. The golden couple of Las Juntas. Have been for about two years. Dude. They have a fucking baby together. Congrats, B. You were officially the other woman for half a minute.”

Have a baby together.

I choke on my milkshake, spitting some of it back into the straw when no one’s looking. Gus delivers the news with such casual confidence, and I know he truly believes every word. I look back at Penn and the waitress again. Leaning on his table, she whispers something into his ear, and he lifts his thumb and chucks her nose playfully. He hasn’t noticed me—or if he has, he hasn’t made eye contact yet—but it’s too late to play nice. The Hulk inside me is growing by the nanosecond, and I know I’m about to burst.

He kissed me.

He touched me.

He took a shower with me.

I saw his dick. With my own eyes. My thigh even gave it a handshake.

So many things a guy with a girlfriend and a baby shouldn’t do.

I glance at them again, and Adriana looks left and right, before settling in Penn’s lap. She has long, shiny, straight black hair and big blue eyes. She looks exotic, her skin deeply tanned like honey. Maybe we’re the same age, but I get a feeling she is just…more. The Hulk pierces through my ribs and stretches his fist across my chest. I’m so jealous I can’t breathe. Looking away is a herculean task, but I manage. Somehow.

Gus drums the table and howls like a dog. “Yo, Addy,” he yells.

Addy? He knows this bitch?

“Are you gonna make another baby with this loser in the middle of the diner, or are you gonna give us our food? No jizz in my burger, please. There’s enough protein in the meat.”

Everyone at our table laughs, and my gaze locks with Penn’s. Adriana looks back and forth between us, and something floats over her face. A dark something I know all too well.

You have it, too. A Hulk of your own.

“Who is she?” I read her lips as she ducks her head down to Penn, frowning.

“No one.” I read his lips as he tucks a hair behind her ear. “Just a chick from ASH.”

There’s a stiff ball inside my throat, and I think it might be my heart.

Adriana stands up, flipping Gus the finger. They obviously know each other. Maybe the jocks frequent this place more than we do. I look away before I cry. I was so focused on Penn’s hatred of me that I forgot I hate him, too.

“So, Daria, how’s Prichard?” Knight asks, loud and clear, throwing extra swagger into his cocky smile. It takes me one second, in which his eyes swiftly dart to Penn, then land back on mine, before I understand what he is doing. Getting back at my housemate for me. Saving my honor.

Do I really look like I need this win?

“A lady doesn’t tell,” I purr, flashing a smile and tossing back my flowered hair.

“I’d tap it.” Blythe points at me with her straw, then sucks on its bottom tip. It is clear she has a dog in this fight. She needs to show that she gives no damns about him either.

“I mean Prichard. Not you.”

“Right?” I laugh. “I love that he’s a real man. Not some boy with a chip on his shoulder.”

I wonder if you can rot from within while still being alive. I’m pretty sure if they open me up now, all they’ll see is green goo that the Hulk has left in its wake.

A girlfriend. Penn Scully has a girlfriend. And a baby.

He is such a filthy cheater.

Adriana sways her curvy hips to our table with two trays full of food. She starts distributing them, a chirp in her voice. “Cheeseburger with avocado and blue cheese?”

Colin raises his hand.

“Prime hot meat with extra spicy sauce?”

“You can just call me Knight, baby.” Cole takes the hot plate from her and winks.

She actually blushes. Maybe she cheats on Scully, too. Too bad Jerry Springer retired. They’d make perfect guests.

“Are you waiting for anything, sweetie?” She pops her gum in my general direction.

I flash a syrupy smile, crossing my arms on my chest.

Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Don’t do it.

“Just for you to take your trailer park ass away from me before I catch a disease.”

Everyone sucks in a collective breath, and the room goes silent. So silent. Too silent. I’m panicking, but no one can see that. I’m still smirking. Knight places his hand on my shoulder as everyone starts glancing at each other, absorbing my words.

“Excuse me?” Adriana’s voice prickles. Her pupils are so big I can see myself in them.

“You heard me. I’m not interested in eating somewhere the waitress is parking her ass on customers. I think you got it all mixed up. This is not your night shift at your local strip club, sweetie.”