“You took it yesterday, right?”

“Oh, yeah. I have three alarms, and I carry a spare pack with me at all times. I take no chances.”

I pat her ass and follow her down the stairs. “That’s my responsible girl.”

Lance and Alex are playing Frisbee with Charlene and Darren in the side yard. Andy chases after the disc with Wiener running between his feet. The little dog snatches the Frisbee when Andy manages to catch it. Violet’s lounging in a chair with huge sunglasses and a sombrero pulled low, and Miller is rubbing suntan lotion into Sunny’s shoulders. Titan is curled up at her feet.

“Any luck, bro?” Lance calls out.

I shake my head. “Gonna check the truck again.”

“Again?” Lily asks. “I thought you hadn’t checked yet.”

“It doesn’t hurt to have another look. I wasn’t all that thorough. Don’t worry. I’m sure it’s in there. I mean, where else could it be?”

“Right? It’s not like you could’ve lost it.” I hear a hint of nervousness in her voice. “When was the last time you had it? You took pictures at the convenience store. Did you use it after that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe?”

“We should try calling it,” Lily suggests after we’ve been through the entire truck, top to bottom, three more times.

“That’s a good idea.”

Lance has his phone handy, so he gives mine a call. It goes to voicemail right away, which means the battery is dead.

“Should we call and report it as lost?” Lily chews on her thumb. “I mean, you have a lot of personal information on there. Maybe some things we wouldn’t want anyone else to see?”

“Wait a second, don’t you two make sex videos on your phones?” Violet asks.

I liked it better when she was nursing a hangover and being quiet.

“They’re not sex videos,” I counter.

“Really? The one I saw sure looked like a sex video to me,” she says.

Lily turns to Violet, incredulous. “Seriously? What the hell happened to the vault?”

Now it’s my turn to be pissed. “You showed Violet our private videos?”

“Only the first one you ever made. You remember the one when you woke me up because I fell asleep on you? I thought it was sweet.”

“Oh, I remember.” For a moment I’m caught up in the memory of that sex-filled night.

“Hold the fucking phone, you two make amateur porn?” Lance looks caught somewhere between a boner and a laugh.

He’d better choose neither.

“It’s not porn,” I snap.

“You have sex and film it, though?” he asks.

“Just on my phone. Or Lily’s sometimes. They’re little clips. It’s not like they’re hour-long marathons or anything,” I explain.

“Wow. I mean, shit.” Lance blows out a breath and nods his approval to Lily. “You got balls, girl. And I don’t mean this guy.” He points at me, and then motions to his junk. “But, like, lady balls.”

“Will you shut the fuck up right now?” He sure as hell isn’t helping the situation.

“Yeah.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and rocks back on his heels. “I can do that.”

“Okay. Let’s not panic, yet.” Lily holds up her hands like she’s silencing people, except no one is talking. She looks at me. “You erased all the videos on your phone, right?”

“Uhhhh…” I think for a few seconds about what pictures and videos might still be on there. My hesitation must be too long.

“You erased all the videos, right, Randy?” she asks again, more forcefully.

“Well, uh, I…” I stroke my beard. “I didn’t erase the one from the changing room yesterday.”

Her eyes are wide and doe-like. “Is my face in that one?”

“I don’t think so.” There are too many people looking at me to be able to remember the details. My plan had been to get her off and then use the video to help my own situation. Also, Lily in her skating outfit with my fingers all up in her is fucking gold. But not if someone other than me is watching it.

She’s gone from calm to high-pitched. “You don’t think so?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Oh my God. Are there any other pictures I should worry about on there? Or videos?”

Lily is approaching an official freak-out. Both Miller and Alex look like they might want to beat me with their hockey sticks.

I tap the bridge of my nose. I don’t know whether or not I should be honest, because I’m almost positive there are a few pictures of her without clothes on from last week. Or maybe just a thong. “Maybe one or two?”

“Am I naked?”

“You might be.”

“Oh my God. Oh, God. People might see me naked!”

“If it’s any consolation, you look great naked,” Lance says.

“Seriously, man, I’m about half a second away from punching you in the face.” My fists really want to act on their own.

“Wait, when did you see Lily naked?” Miller asks.

Lily strokes her throat absently. “Randy came home from a series of away games. I didn’t get the message that Lance was with him until I opened the door.”

“You opened the door naked?” Sunny asks. “How come I didn’t know about this?”

“Well, technically I wasn’t naked. I was wearing a bow. Not that it matters. What matters is that someone might have your phone, and there are pictures of me on it. Naked.”

“Lance has a point, though. You look great naked,” Violet adds, as if this is going to help.

“When the fuck have you seen Lily naked?” I look from Lily to Violet and back again.

Violet gives me the stink eye. “Are you serious with this? You guys probably stand around the locker room comparing your junk and smacking each other on the ass because you scored a goal. We’re girls. We get changed in front of each other. They’ve all seen me trussed up in slutty fetish gear, thanks to this one.” She points at Charlene. “Lily had to hold my boobs for me.”

“What slutty fetish gear?” Alex asks.

Violet waves him off. “Never mind. We’ll talk about that later.”

Now I’m curious how many cinderblocks and how much rope I need. “Show of hands. Who hasn’t seen Lily naked?”