I feel so stupid. Ridiculous, actually. Three weeks ago, I didn’t even care about prom. Hell, I wasn’t even planning on going. But now every time I’ve pictured myself at prom, I can’t imagine the evening without Tucker.

I push the bar on the emergency exit door and am immediately blinded with sunlight. As my eyes adjust, I find myself at the edge of the school’s property with only an overgrown field and an abandoned dumpster in sight. Before the door behind me can fully shut, it swings open again.

“There you are,” Tucker says. He kicks a crumbling brick into the doorway to keep it cracked open. “You could have locked yourself out.”

“As long as I don’t get locked out with you,” I spit back at him.

He reaches for my hand, and I flinch, stepping away from him.

“Melissa and I go way back,” he says. “We promised to go to prom together after the breakup.”

“So you’re telling me not to be weird about you going to prom with your ex when you kissed me yesterday?”

“When I said I’d go with her, it seemed like a good idea at the time. I didn’t think I’d meet anyone—I never thought I’d have a chance with you, Waylon.”

“Well, you did and you blew it,” I say through gritted teeth. Stay calm, I beg myself. Stay calm. Don’t let him see how much you care.

Easier said than done. “You’ve dragged me along for the last two weeks and you never once thought to tell me that you already had a date for prom?” I let out a growl as my eyes begin to burn with tears. “I hate that I even care about this! This is so ridiculous! I hate you for making me like you. I hate you for making me care about something as sucky as prom. I hate you. I really, really do.”

“Waylon, come on. You don’t mean that,” he says weakly.

“Maybe I don’t, but I wish I did.” I shake my head in frustration. “What the hell do you expect me to think, Tucker? You let me find out onstage in front of the whole damn senior class. And God forbid I want to be your date to prom!”

“You do?”

“Are you really that big of an idiot?” I don’t give him time to answer. “Most of all, I hate you for making me doubt myself. Because deep down, I know that if you really wanted to go with me, you would have talked to Melissa. You would have figured it out. And whether that’s because you don’t want the whole school to know you like guys or because you don’t want the whole school to know that you”—I motion down the length of my body and with the flick of my hand, I picture every stretch mark and roll—“like this guy . . .”

“What is that supposed to mean?” he asks.

“I’m a fat, femme gay guy with drag-queen aspirations,” I say plainly, almost defeated. “The person who decides they want to be by my side has to do it with their head held high. I’m done being with people who are embarrassed by me or ashamed of me. I’m too good to keep secret.” I say the words, but I don’t know if I mean them. I don’t know how I ever possibly could. But I have to, and maybe if I say it enough, I’ll believe it too.

“I’m sorry.” He holds his hands around his head, like he’s in excruciating pain.

I want him to tell me I’m wrong and that he’d be proud to be with me, but he doesn’t. Tears begin to spill down my cheeks as his silence grows. I step past him. “Excuse me.”

He grasps my hand, but my fingers slip through his as I walk back inside.

I follow a hallway to the auditorium exit where Hannah and Clementine are eagerly waiting for me as teachers do their best to disperse us all and send us back to class.

“Where is he?” Clem demands. “I’m going to kill him. I’m going to kill that shithead jock.”

I shake my head. “You don’t have to kill him. I already did.”

“I’m sorry.” Hannah frowns as she touches my forearm gently. “I was starting to think he was an all-right guy.”

“Yeah, well, an all-right guy doesn’t make out with you in front of your grammy’s house and then take someone else to prom.”

“You were brilliant, though,” Clementine says, throwing her arms around my neck. “I mean, Waylon, you stand a real shot at winning this thing.”

“You have to say that,” I drone. “You’re my sister.”

“Uh, no, sir. When’s the last time I said anything just because you were my brother?”

“I guess I shouldn’t bring up the time you legit didn’t tell me about your life plans because you didn’t want to hurt my feelings?”

“Low blow,” she says.

I shrug.

“She’s right, though,” Hannah chimes in. “People are talking. Between your outstanding karaoke performance over the weekend and your really freaking smart and relatable answer today, people are talking.”

After another hug from Clem and one last death threat for Tucker, I wave them both off and head to class. Despite the growing pit in my stomach over Tucker, I can’t help but feel a little bit of electricity with every step.

I don’t know if Clem’s right. But she’s not totally wrong. People are waving. They’re smiling. They’re saying hi. They know my name. Both of them, in fact.

Twenty-Nine

After the last bell, I head over to Mrs. Leonard’s classroom for our final Monday afternoon prom court meeting before prom this weekend. I’ve managed to avoid Tucker all day, but I can’t ignore the dread settling in my chest as I turn the corner into the home ec classroom.

But Tucker isn’t here yet.

“I was so proud of y’all this morning,” says Mrs. Leonard once we’re all settled. “About half of you still have at least one of your projects to complete, which must be done by the end of the school day on Friday for you to remain eligible.”

She passes out a schedule for Saturday night, and explains how we will all need to check in with her once we arrive and how voting will go down that evening. But I can barely make myself pay attention. Part of me is praying Tucker shows up and the other part is clammy at the thought.

But he never shows.

After Mrs. Leonard dismisses us, she calls me over to talk to her. “Tucker came to see me this afternoon,” she says.

“Um, okay.” I can’t imagine what him going to prom with Melissa has anything to do with Mrs. Leonard.

“He’s decided to step out of the running for prom king.”

“What? Are you serious?” There’s a twinge in my stomach, and I didn’t think I could be any more disappointed by him. But of course, he’s going with Melissa. Why am I even surprised?

“He did, however, get approval for your legacy project if you’d like to go through with it. He said it was your idea, anyway.”

I dig my toe into the linoleum floor and nod.

“I also want to give you the option of joining forces with another group in case it’s too much for you to take on by yourself.” She bites down on her lip for a moment. “But I have to be honest and say that with a grand gesture, I think you could really turn this whole thing on its head.”

“You think I could win?” It’s one thing for my sister to say it. Or even Bekah. But Mrs. Leonard, the woman who’s been heading up prom court for years? She knows her stuff.