He stared at her for a beat and then came closer. “But . . . ? Because I sense a really big but coming here.”

“But . . .” She paused. “I didn’t expect you to say what you did either.”

“You mean when I said I love you.”

Her stomach tightened. “Yes.” She swallowed hard. “That.”

“Jesus.” He shook his head, ran his hand over his face. “You can’t even say the word in a sentence. How did I not see this coming?”

She tossed up her hands. “That’s what I want to know! I told you I was messed up in the head!”

He sent her a fulminating look. “You’re not, though. Messed up in the heart maybe, but not the head.”

She wasn’t amused. “I can’t do this, Mark. I’m not ready. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready. I’m not programmed like all of you Capriottis are.”

He took in the open suitcase on the bed. “So you’re what, turning tail and running away?”

“The job is done.”

“There’s more here for you if you want it and you know that.”

She inhaled a deep breath and faced him. “This isn’t all my bad, you know. You told me in the beginning that you weren’t going to ever fall for another woman again, at least not until the girls were grown up and out of the house. It was a rule, Mark, and you were very serious about it.”

“I told you, things change.”

Shaking her head, she started to back up, but he caught her hand. “Things change,” he said again, softer now, no longer angry but something else, something just as wild and passionate as he slowly reeled her in. “You’re scared,” he said quietly. “I get that. You’re scared because you love me too.”

She pushed him away. “No.” Yes. God, yes. She loved him so much it hurt, and she had no idea what to do with that, not a single one. She turned away, back to the dresser, where she opened the next drawer down and scooped up her things. “Which is why I have to go.”

He stood there watching her, arms crossed. “So is it that I gave you a reason to go, or that you were just looking for one?”

Mark held his breath for Lanie’s answer.

“This was your rule,” she said.

“So you’ve already mentioned. But I’ve also already mentioned—things happen. Real feelings happen. You love me.”

“No.” She shook her head, her eyes locked in on his as she backed up a step. “I can’t. I don’t.”

At the words, he stilled and actually rubbed his chest where it felt like he’d just been hit by an IED. It was all suddenly a terrible echo of what Brittney had said to him, the words bringing it all back like it was yesterday.

I don’t love you and I never wanted children . . .

Had he learned nothing from his past? Apparently not, because at the first sign of trouble and hard times Lanie wanted out.

Just like his ex.

“Shit,” he said, feeling stunned at the realization. “It’s me. I’m the common denominator here. I’m the dumbass who did the same thing while expecting a different outcome.”

Lanie frowned. “What do you mean?”

Unable to discuss this rationally, he whipped around to get the fuck out, just as a scream went through the walls, followed by a thud—like a body hitting the floor in the next cottage over.

“Oh my God,” Lanie said. “That was River!”

Mark was already running out the door with Lanie right on his heels. “River!” she yelled, pounding on the door. “River, are you okay?”

No answer.

“I’ll go get a key,” Lanie said.

“Just back up,” Mark said and kicked the door open.

They found River lying on the floor in a growing puddle of blood.

“Oh my God!” Lanie cried.

“Call 9-1-1,” he said and dropped to his knees at River’s side.

Chapter 31

I don’t fall asleep, I overthink myself into a coma.

River was both hot and cold, shivering and sweating, and she knew what that meant. High fever. Something had been nagging at her all day, she’d felt off, but she had attributed it to having just given birth and a serious lack of sleep.

But as she lay on the floor in a puddle of her own blood, she knew she’d gravely underestimated her problem. She was delirious, unable to open her eyes beyond slits, unable to speak as she watched Lanie’s pale face hover above hers. “Delaney,” she tried to say, needing them to look after the baby.

She heard Mark’s calm voice telling Lanie to call for an ambulance, felt him take her pulse.

“The baby,” she tried again, but Lanie was shakily telling someone to come in a hurry because there was a lot of blood.

When River managed to open her eyes again it was because someone took her hand.

Lanie, who smiled down at her, but it was one of those smiles that was full of fear and terror. Damn. She must look really bad. Like, on-death-row bad. “Delaney,” she said but Lanie just stroked the hair back from River’s face.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “It’s going to be okay.”

Was it, though? Because it didn’t feel okay. She’d finally started to get her life together for herself and the baby, and now she was going to die right here on the floor and never see Delaney again.

Not that she was surprised. Karma always had been a bitch.

ONCE AGAIN LANIE found herself standing in the hospital waiting room, staring out the dark windows into the night, only this time it was so much, much worse.

The thing about Wildstone, there weren’t any city lights. It was so different from Santa Barbara, where she’d lived for so many years she’d nearly forgotten the beauty of the simple rolling hills, the stillness of the night, the peace and quiet . . .

Not that the hospital was peaceful or quiet. Behind her she could feel a wave of grief and panic and fear. She had her own wave going on, and she was still covered in blood.

River’s blood.

God, the vision of her bleeding out all over her cottage floor was going to haunt her until the end of time, as was the way she’d left things. Just thinking about it had her closing her eyes tight.

If River died, she’d never know the truth—that Lanie didn’t hate her. That, in fact, Lanie admired and respected her so very much.

According to the doctor who’d come out to talk to them, River had suffered a late postpartum hemorrhage and had nearly bled out on the way to the hospital. If Lanie and Mark hadn’t gotten to her when they had, she’d have surely died. They’d found placental tissue still in her uterus and the doctor said they were giving her transfusions and he was going in to do an emergency surgical procedure to remove the tissue and hopefully stop the bleeding.

The entire Capriotti family was here, but Lanie was only aware of one—Mark standing on the other side of the room; tall, silent, stoic.

Another person she cared deeply about whom she’d wronged. Her last words to him kept playing in her mind.

I don’t love you . . .

Apparently when she decided to sabotage herself, she went big.

Cora came up to her side. “How you holding up?”

Since Mark hadn’t approached her at all, not so much as to meet her gaze, on top of which they hadn’t heard a single word on River from the doctors, other than she was still in surgery and it was a touch-and-go situation, she had no idea. Because touch and go? The ominous words struck terror in her heart.